Getting Mom up to speed after Dad passes away.

Sorry to hear.

It sounds like you're onto a good start. Call the nearest police or sheriff's office. I know the police department around the corner has a drug disposal box. Just dump them in. That is the extent of my expertise.

Thanks everyone, I knew folks here would have good advice. Luckily Mom is a tightwad, so I'm not worried about her getting scammed. She also worked in collections for a while, so that should give her an edge.

I'll back off on the changes. Dad's service isn't until this Saturday (he was cremated) and Mom only wants to spend one night away from the house. She's been running little errands here and there this week, but she has very little social life. I'm trying to get her to at least have lunch with one of her friends who is also a widow, who happens to live one neighborhood over. I recommended she start a lunch club with all the widows of Dad's old business group. They all used to travel together and had great fun so maybe now they can get back together again.

Or conversely you could take some and see what happens. Never know, could be fun.

Sorry, couldn't help it. Carry on.

the doctors to flush her medications

this will contaminate the water supply, once a month our sheriffs department sets up a drive thru at the Y you drive up they take them in any form or container, no questions asked, so you dump them all in a sandwich bag.

I see a lot of women who are taking the car in for service for the first time, ever, after they are 70 years old. That's changing as attitudes evolve, but the good news is, I see a lot of little old ladies who become pretty darn good at making the decisions that used to be the property of the hubby- as a matter of fact, many of them are smarter than the old man was about lots of things.

In time, she will be fine.

My condolences for your family's loss.

Lots of excellent advice above, there's not much I can add. Be sure to hug her and let her know that a bunch of internet buddies wish her well.

My dad passed a couple years ago and one thing I would add is to get involved with her health decisions sooner rather than later. My mom's in the hospital right now and none of us kids saw it coming. We didn't get involved, and now we're all trying to play catch up. Combining our coming late to the party with the standard old person stubbornness and the fact that no one really retains the whole conversation with the Dr when the topic is themselves and it's really tough.

Also, find her someone trustworthy to call for lawn work, snow removal, gutter cleaning, adding salt to the softener, leaky faucet repairs, etc. That may be as easy as going through receipts for who did work last time or you may have to shop around. Get her a list so she can safely help herself.

And consider getting someone else to clean her house periodically. The last thing you want is for her to get behind on housework and feel so embarrassed about it that she stops having people over and withdraws from her social groups. That is the first step on a quick downward spiral.

In reply to oldopelguy:

Good point on the cleaning.

My Dad has done that, but I didn't consider the social ramifications.

Sorry for your loss . . . Prayers of comfort for you and the fam . . .

SVreX wrote: In reply to oldopelguy: Good point on the cleaning. My Dad has done that, but I didn't consider the social ramifications.

I mentioned the cleaning to my wife and she said that was a brilliant idea. Mom & Dad had been fixing up the house over the last few years, so that progress shouldn't stop. My brother is going to make one change immediately though, and that is replacing their awful front doors. I swear they are hollow interior doors. Mom wanted them changed out years ago so my brother is having it done soon.

Memorial service is tomorrow, and Dad will be interred at Georgia National Cemetery next week (he was a veteran). Just moving forward one day at a time.

Condolences

Went through similar when my dad passed away. Although not in the best of health, he would never plan for the inevetible because that would mean admitting that it will happen. I'm the oldest and the only son so traditionally follow up usually would fall to me but I also live the farthest away. I'm in AL and parents and 2 younger sisters in CA. My youngest sister lives closest, next town over (about 12 miles) and is also a nurse so she is better suited to help make informed decisions although mom is a retired nurse too. Her husband is a contractor so he helps with the house stuff that mom wanted/needed done. Mom had a lot to do and my sister helped mainly, my other sister and I helped when we could. Mom made sure everything is documented for her and my youngest sister is executive on it. Mom informed us of this. Doesn't bother me, I agree it's a better decision than me across the country away. Especially since I travel a lot, sometimes out of the country for work. Middle sister isn't too happy about the decision but 2 against 1 and she has her own situation from her husband passing away from cancer and 2 teenagers. Mom is 78 and in good health. Drives from SoCal to NorCal to visit middle sister regularly, flies out and stays with me every year during the holidays (great-grandkids for her here) and travels to her sisters places in MO & IL regularly also.

Necessary stuff first then as mom wants it at her pace. One day at a time.