Getting out of depression?

What works for you?

I've struggled with significant bouts of depression my whole life. I know it's cyclical in nature, and that it comes and goes and I just need to ride it out. I feel like I've been riding this slow descent for an unseasonably long time now.

What works for you to get out of your depression?

Drugs and therapy. Mostly drugs. Took three or four different ones before I found what works at a low dosage. Mine is not cyclical it's constant, oppressive and overpowering.

I keep refined sugar down as much as I can which helps. But mainly it's the drugs I would be a mess without them. Took me years to accept that it was not me but my brain chemistry and that I needed to talk it out more often then I thought I did. 
 

it will get better.  Hit me up if you want to talk. 
 

If anyone finds a good solution, let me know.

That said, a daily meditation practice and journaling seems to help.

This place helps too, it's a nice change from the poison of the rest of the internet.

If chatting with someone somewhat local would help, feel free to message me as well. 

Locking up my handguns. Getting fired from a E36 M3ty, abusive, dead end job didn't hurt.

Are we talking about depression, a medical condition, or are we talking about being depressed, just down in the dumps? 
 

The former needs medical help. That may be therapy, it may be drugs, it may be both. The therapy and/or drugs may be permanent or it may be for a few months. But you'll want to talk with your doctor to recommend a psychiatrist. 
 

The latter can be solved for me by laying off the booze, putting down the phone after 5pm and on weekends, getting outside every day, and getting exercise. This will all help with medical depression as well, but it will not be treating the underlying issue (well, laying off the booze may do it, if the underlying issue causing your depression is alcoholism). 
 

Same as WearyMicrobe. It was a journey to get where I am today (which is light years ahead of where I was, say, 4 years ago and light decades better than 10 years ago) but even the journey beats just constantly feeling like I can't enjoy anything.

I stay off social media and just assume most news is bad. Not much I can do about that but I can have a positive impact on my immediate surroundings and that's enough. 

When I was a practicing pharmacist, I often saw great results from anti-depressants. Lots of people who were obviously out of sorts for months or even years would have their first Rx for prozac or whatever filled and when they came back a month later for a refill, they were obviously feeling better mentally & emotionally.  I expect some of them were receiving other therapy but that many weren't.

Moving somewhere that isn't a frozen tundra for a significant part of the year & has a bit more daylight during winter did wonders for me.

Just get over it.

Cheer up.

Take those bad feelings and just push them way down deep so nobody else can ever see them.

Or, you know the exact opposite of those terrible bits of black humor that my twisted mind spewed out.

In all seriousness: better diet, more exercise, healthy/satisfying relationships, fulfilling hobbies, more sunlight (even a tanning bed can help us winter weather people), therapy as needed, pharmaceuticals when recommended.

Good luck with it, no mental problems are easy because we have to rely on that malfunctioning bit to come up with it's own cure.  Like picking yourself off the ground by pulling your shoelaces.

A friend dealt with depression and a bunch of us(friends) helped him get into a hobby. I mean really into it. He was told that an doing something for something like 21 days can get a person addicted or obsessed. He decided that he always thought that mountain biking looked like a really cool sport with a minimal buy-in. So a bunch of us bought bikes and took turns getting him out riding. Turns out the doctors were right! He became a very proficient rider in short order and took up the sport with vigor. He went on to becoming a runner as well and now is in WAY better shape than any of us who went on a bunch of recreational rides with him. Rather than teaching, we should have also learned! 
 

I would say think of something you enjoy doing, preferably outdoors and make a concerted effort to become better at it. Then become even better! It takes time but must trigger something that's deeper inside than the depression and much healthier. This new found activity will become your new obsession and hopefully you can leave that depression behind.

Pulling for you.

+1 to mountain biking.  And you live in an awesome place for it.  Since it's winter try a fatbike.  

It's fun, the technical aspects help to focus your thoughts, it gets you outside, and it can be done on your schedule without much prep.  I would actually say it saved my life and has kept doing so for close to 25 years.

And talking to others who are familiar with the black dog is not a bad thing.

Pete Gossett (Forum Supporter) said:

Moving somewhere that isn't a frozen tundra for a significant part of the year & has a bit more daylight during winter did wonders for me.

I'd love that but not in the cards just yet.

For me it was a good therapist and the right drugs. Covid killed the therapist for me so I've slipped again. I can't do virtual sessions they do nothing for me. 

If you are concerned about drugs, here's what I can tell you. I fight insomnia and was prescribed an anti-depressant to help me fall asleep. (Trazadone)  I feel no side-effects from it at all, in fact, don't really feel that it makes any difference to me at all other than I fall asleep a little better. My wife says that I am a happier person during the day though, which may be an effect of the drug or a result of getting more sleep. My point is that if it is a clinical depression, perhaps try a prescription. Its not like taking opioids for pain.

In reply to pinchvalve (Forum Supporter) :

This. For us that deal with it, once you find the drug that helps you realize a quality of life exists that you didn't even know could exist. Sadly for me, my brain adapts after about 2-3 years and I have to start all over. 

Or, if you need something to occupy your time, you could take a vacation, come down for a few weeks and put together projects here in the shop. Several Lotus 7 replicas in various stages, a Corvette Kart, TVR 280i V-8 swap, MGB project of unknown direction, RX-7 race car and more. Would certainly keep us busy for a while!

Oh, another thing if the answer is pharmaceuticals: be prepared to get pissed off at the insurance companies. We pay $150 every month for my wife's antidepressant. It isn't on "the list". Every January, we have to spend about 3 hours on the phone with the insurance company showing them the approvals for it so that it isn't $700 a month. 

Our last insurance, it cost $23 a month. 

Every single berkeleying month, we get a letter saying "You spend this much on XYZ, you could be spending 1/8th of that on ABC!", ABC being a drug that my wife has tried 3 different times. She has been on about 7 different drugs to find one that works. And insurance is trying to berkeley us over on it. 

Vitamin D helps me. I get the seasonal depression this time every year. I read somewhere that it comes from a lack of sunlight causing the vitamin D deficiency. Obviously I have no idea if you have a more serious problem, but since it is an OTC solution with no side effects it couldn't hurt to give it a shot.

For me it has been equal parts looking at what environmental factors are causing it, and what physical factors are causing it and doing my damnedest to confront them.  As a result, being open and talking about my depression and what is causing it (to just about anyone that will listen) has helped immensely; as Spider Robinson says "Shared pain is lessened and shared joy increases."

But to be fair I've also been on a fairly low dose of mind altering chemicals for a couple years now.

A note about exercise and such.  It generally isn't a fix, but at the same time you aren't going to get anywhere in a car with bald tires, a clapped out engine, and no gas in the tank.  You do have to do the basic maintenance in order for the big modifications to take hold properly.

gearheadmb said:

Vitamin D helps me. I get the seasonal depression this time every year. I read somewhere that it comes from a lack of sunlight causing the vitamin D deficiency.

For sure, if you live somewhere that has winter, and like most people during the winter are spending very little time in the sun, and only exposing parts of your face and ears to the sun when you do, you're going to be vitamin D deficient during the winter unless you're taking vitamin D pills to compensate for the lack of sunlight hitting your skin. This can cause mood problems among other issues. Not the same thing as Seasonal Affective Disorder, but possibly related.

Positive feedback loops.

For me this has included a succession of careers with deep-end learning challenges, a series of house and car projects and a small but evolving group of friends for whom I can be a benefit. 

And this:

mtn said:

Oh, another thing if the answer is pharmaceuticals: be prepared to get pissed off at the insurance companies. We pay $150 every month for my wife's antidepressant. It isn't on "the list". Every January, we have to spend about 3 hours on the phone with the insurance company showing them the approvals for it so that it isn't $700 a month. 

Our last insurance, it cost $23 a month. 

Every single berkeleying month, we get a letter saying "You spend this much on XYZ, you could be spending 1/8th of that on ABC!", ABC being a drug that my wife has tried 3 different times. She has been on about 7 different drugs to find one that works. And insurance is trying to berkeley us over on it. 

He's Canadian, so he doesn't get to enjoy the freedoms related to getting non-consensually sexed up by an insurance company the same way we do.

Honestly for me a lot of it comes down to "fake it till you make it". I have to push myself through the motions of a happy normal life in order to get to a place where I feel like I'm living it, and it helps to have someone holding you accountable. Someone who can help you through the really, really low points and get you through to the next sleep to face the next day even when you feel like there's no way it can possibly happen. You get out of bed because you have to. You eat the food because you have to. You go to work because you have to. You see your family and friends and maybe even start to laugh a little with them because you have to. You go to the gym because you have to - you get a few endorphins for your troubles. You talk to your therapist because you have to - you feel a little burden lifted. And eventually these things start to feel good again, and maybe it's temporary, but it's enough for the time.

I don't know if there's a way all the way out of it, but there are bright spots that are worth living for.

Also, always remember: If you don't schedule downtime for system maintenance, your system will schedule it for you. Being kind to yourself mentally and physically in ways you can control can help you maintain a better baseline of overall functioning. And yes, sometimes that kindness-to-self can involve talking to a doctor about medication options.

I appreciate the comments, please keep them coming. It's helping me sort through where I'm at in this.

Part of why I think exorcise is important for me to attain something that looks semi-level is that I can actually sleep well if I am getting good workouts in most days.  Right now I'm going through some things and I'm really putting the work in at the gym so at least I'm getting rest at night.  Without it I just get strung out and hard to deal with, never mind my own increased levels of frustration with myself.

I start seeing a therapist in January.  I hope to have a rowing machine in my house soon after.  I hope I can run again by April or May (long story).

It's funny, when I watch your videos and see your projects, I think you're an amazing craftsman with talents I wish I had.  I have friends that seem to think I can do all kinds of amazing things and have good stories and interesting things in my past.  But I forget that kind of stuff about myself all of the time and wish a number of things in my life had gone differently.  I hope you aren't suffering the same sort of thing; it's a horrible loop to try and get out of.

I hope you can find good resources there where you are.  

Getting back into my hobbies. Hence why I'm looking for another project car. Meds and therapy have never helped me, not that self-medicating is a good option either (which I have done to my detriment as well). I've been to multiple therapists, never got anything from it, they all told me I was very self-aware, etc, yadda yadda yadda. 

And all the multitude of different meds I've tried have had, ahem, negative side effects in the boudoir if you know what I mean.

I actually just finished up a long chat with an old friend, the happiest I've ever been was when I had a motorcycle. There is something very therapeutic about being on two wheels. I'm now considering getting another one. I haven't ridden since I had my nasty crash at Hallett and dealt with post-concussion syndrome for months after.