Giving a Eulogy

My undcle Jim died Monday from smoking waaaaaay too many cigaretts and I have been chosen to give his eulogy and I'm stymied by the task at hand.
I'm not looking for help or anything, just felt the need to type it out. Has anyone else here had the honor/thrill/terror of giving a eulogy?

I didn't have the intestinal fortitude to do it for my folks, and sometimes wish I had, so I respect what you're doing. Not easy. My brother-in-law, who's a lay pastor, gave the eulogies and in fact conducted the entire services for my parents and he did a fantastic job. Although he is a man of strong faith, he did not preach; instead, he talked about them, their family, the lives they'd led, funny stories about them--in other words, he understood we were there to remember them, and he led us in that remembrance. Good luck. Do it with love, tact and honesty, and you'll be fine.

Margie

I did my mom's and then 2 years later my older sister.

I talked about who they both were and why we all loved them. The good stories are important. We all want something good to remember them by.

My sister worked in the garbage pickup business and everyone loved the "garbage" stories she used to tell me.

1. Garbage men love windy days, all the stuff dropped just blows away and doesn't have to be picked up.

2. Garbage men love the cold winter as it freezes the stinky garbage and there is no smell. Summer brings maggots and stinky poo poo.

3. She used to leave full beers on the top inside of our cans for her friends as they picked up my dad's garbage. (This story I did not tell at the church service)

I did a reading at my mother's funeral, but I have no recollection of it whatsoever.

I also dug the hole at the cemetery. Twice. (LONG story). I have vivid recollections of that.

Well, condolances and good luck.

Start with a couple of passages from the Bible, then speak about his life and family. Near the end, mention any faults (in a kind way), and finish with a collective wish for his memory. That's the basic formula.

P.S. add levity when you can towards the end.

Gave one for my Dad (he died suddenly at 59 in 2001). I spoke about his life, his laugh and his passions.

I said that you have your birth date, a dash and a date of passing. He made pretty good use of the dash. I ended by urging everyone to make the most of their dash--don't put off what you want to do in life.

Yeah--it was a brutal time.

gamby wrote: Gave one for my Dad (he died suddenly at 59 in 2001). I spoke about his life, his laugh and his passions. I said that you have your birth date, a dash and a date of passing. He made pretty good use of the dash. I ended by urging everyone to make the most of their dash--don't put off what you want to do in life. Yeah--it was a brutal time.

I like the dash part, I'm adding it in. Thanks!

The dash is good.

this is one of my favorite quotes...

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,but rather to skid in sideways whiskey in one hand cigarette in the other body thoroughly used up, totally worn and screaming 'Damn what a ride! "

Grtechguy wrote: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,but rather to skid in sideways whiskey in one hand cigarette in the other body thoroughly used up, totally worn and screaming 'Damn what a ride! "

I particularly like this one...

I did a eulogy for my brother a few years back. It was hard, but nobody else was volunteering and I didn't want a well-intentioned but otherwise clueless military chaplain to attempt it.

It was important to me for him to be remembered as he was; that means not just the nice stuff like loving and caring, but the "regular guy" parts too. To remember my brother without mentioning his love of chasing skirts and drinking too much wouldn't really be remembering him at all.

For my part, I stayed away from quotes and such. I tried to write something that would have made my brother smile. I don't have the perspective to say if it was successful, but the people who knew my brother best seemed to think it was appropriate.

Side note—I may be the only person in history to tell a titty bar story during a eulogy at Arlington. It was a good story, though.

titty bar story at a funeral.... hmmm

Grtechguy wrote: titty bar story at a funeral.... hmmm

It's not for everyone, but you've got to play to your audience.

Tom Heath wrote:

Grtechguy wrote: titty bar story at a funeral.... hmmm

It's not for everyone, but you've got to play to your audience.

Like I said: add some levity near the end. A titty bar story qualifies perfectly.

we have a benefit for a 48 year old friend I have known since 5 next sunday , write some stuff down at least if you loose it you can look at the card . heard this somewhere i think it was from a great philosopher " Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,but rather to skid in sideways whiskey in one hand cigarette in the other body thoroughly used up, totally worn and screaming 'Damn what a ride! "

yeah....about 9 posts further up