Since you guys know everything about everything...
I have a pair of corpulent, gluttonous woodchucks that have taken up residency in my yard, and I want them out. Aside from shooting them or trapping them and releasing them elsewhere, is there anything else I can do to get them to pack their E36 M3 and leave? I can't shoot them because my neighbors would go berzerk, and trapping and releasing them elsewhere is illegal in this state. Any other ideas?
Coyote urine.
You can buy coyote urine for about $16 per pint at Agway. The last bottle I bought has lasted almost ten years. All of your nuisance animals will be gone overnight, but actual coyotes will arrive by morning. Not to worry, as the bobcats will chase them away.
I just shoot the skunks now.
Crossbow. Silent but deadly.
Crossbow ---> Surprisingly noisy.
Suppressor 
*before anyone flames me, this is a joke.
Used kitty litter poured down their holes. Groundhogs are deadly in horse country and that works as well as any non-lethal solution.
A .22 with an oil filter suppressor is good too.....
280 Conibear. Lay it across an entry hole. Dead groundhog. Handle with care, it can break your arm.
For silly fun, the likes of the Varmitgetter.
.22 CBs, and Sub Sonics are pretty quiet, especially if there's a privacy fence, or some distance between you and your neighbor. The suppressor won't be a quick fix, paper work is 7 months to a year, at least in AR. A .177 or .22 air rifle would do to the trick, and make little noise.
Quick solution, go with foxtrapper's plan. Or a have-a-heart, and dispose of them as you see fit when caught.
Good Eatin
Oh yea, we eat it here at our homestead.
I thought it was supposed to be greasy as hell.
Fatty, not greasy. It's mostly the white hard fat that comes off the muscle pretty easily when you field dress and later butcher it. They can be greasy in the fall when they are putting up the brown fat for the spring refiring.
If you want greasy, raccoon is king.
Groundhog meat is fairly mild tasting, but it can be tough. Prefer it in stews or soups and such where you cook it down for hours. Not so much as a quartered section on a plate.
Dog.
+1 for crossbow or oil filter suppressor. A crossbow does make a noise but it could be explained away as something else if they don't catch you doing it.
Was thinking either an arrow or an air rifle myself - quiter than a .22, less paperwork than a suppressor, less likely to be affected by restrictions about where you can and cannot discharge a firearm.
Homebrew suppressor is a horrible idea, comes with federal prison time and/or mega fines if caught. Unless you're going to jump through the hoops, paper work, and pay the fees, to obtain/build a suppressor legally, if you even can in whatever state you're in, don't consider it.
Ok, let me clarify my situation a little.
I live in a pretty rural town about 40-50 miles south of Boston. We are the youngest people on our street, and all our neighbors are older, and strange. We only talk to one of them, and when we do, it's usually him complaining about us or asking us not to do something because he thinks we live in a HOA-goverend neighborhood. He complains about me having too many cars, he complains about when my grass is tall, he complains about me making noise past 9pm in the garage (the town noise laws cut off at 10 PM), etc. We recently adopted a shelter dog, and she is one of the most well behaved dogs I have ever seen, and he pulled me aside a few weeks ago and told me that there would be "unwelcome tension" if she barked at him if he's ever out in his yard. She barked at him ONCE, and that happened.
Now what do you think would happen if I went out there with a gun and started shooting?
Also, I can't shoot anything in my yard due to the town's residential bylaws anyway.
I'd send the dog after the stupid things but last time we had her off the run or leash, she tried to go to my other neighbor's yard, who I'm convinced is a serial killer or meth cooker, or both. We call him "Hot Tub Time Machine" because he randomly came home with a used hot tub one day, promptly set it up on cinder blocks, and stares at it funny from time to time, but he's never used it.
Maybe it's time to learn how to bow hunt.
Other option is to capture and domesticate them. Harness the power of woodchucks!
First find out if in your state woddchucks are considered a pest animal then decide on next step from there. its alot easier to do away with a pest animal than a protected one
Live trap and execute with a .22 pellet gun or .22 CCI CB long out of a rifle(good luck finding any with this current crazy ass run on ammo), those things are seriously quiet, hitting the steel backstop 20 yards away is louder than the gun going off.
How about an RC truck? Chase those varmints enough with it and they're bound to move on.
Man, that cat looks PISSED OFF. 
Don't you know anybody with an eight iron?
Conibear 280 is silent
You'll need to log in to post.
