In reply to APEowner :
Alot of us are someplace where it's not possible to be on track for 3-4 months if the year. It was 39 and raining yesterday. This morning it was 20. It's going to be like this until mid March.
@seth: I wonder how much of it for you now is a recent birthday and the fact your offspring (as awesome as they are) are all growing up and many leaving the nest?
In reply to bobzilla :
You can't believe how much I'm looking forward to an empty nest and my wife retiring. To the point where I feel slightly guilty about it. My wife and I had a VERY short period between college and when we decided to have kids and we were broke during that time. If there is anything to look forward to the most, it's those upcoming years. 
Regarding exercise, if you are not a fan of exercising for its own sake, some sort of distraction is good. That’s why I really like my recumbent exercise bike. I can easily watch Netflix/YouTube/whatever on a tablet, and not have to bend my neck in a weird position like I would on a conventional exercise bike. It also tends to be way easier on joints than running. Due to all of this, as a general rule, I end up getting more exercise in the winter than in the summer.
Wow, so much good advice. I will throw in another plus for exercise, more likely walking in nature or by the ocean. Another great thing is walking a dog. The pleasure and enjoyment dogs get from being outside is contagious. Eating well and taking B vitamins is a huge help.
I am sick that auto cross is over. I have found that there are country roads that have fast speed limits that are great to drive well. Getting out of the house and driving for hours really helps me. I also don't own a car that doesn't make me smile. It has been pointed out that projects are helpful. I think it's getting involved, but also finishing something that warms the heart. Finding someone who you can help and cheer is also great. Some of us have really simple skills that are really helpful to others. Brake jobs and oil changes come to mind.
I wish we could all do some type of cars and coffee. Or is it cars and covid now?
Yeah, as Curtis and Bobzilla have said, if this is feeling down in the dumps and not a chronic thing, these suggestions will work. If it is all the time, and you can improve your mood for a short time but no more than that, these suggestions are good... but they won't treat the underlying problem of Depression (although in some cases laying off the booze will do it, but that is treating a different but related issue). In that case, go see a Psychiatrist, see if they recommend a script, and keep up with it. May take 10+ different failed attempts to find a med that works.
thedoc said:
I wish we could all do some type of cars and coffee. Or is it cars and covid now?
Lol - cars and coffee is about the perfect Covid activity. Outdoors and easy to be socially distant. If you're wearing a mask and outdoors and 6 feet apart, you've got about 0 chance of getting or transmitting the virus.
I've been using a billion different things with varying success. I've had some trouble with anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember and it's gotten a bit worse recently. I have seriously cleaned up my diet, I walk or exercise a couple hours a day, pray every morning, play with the dog and try to meditate in the evenings and generally stay as busy as I possibly can, try to have things to look forward to, and have a dr and support group to talk to. It's worked kind of ok, I get out of bed every day and haven't called in to work yet. I may lose a few minutes crying in my truck a few times a week but I'm generally productive. I will admit that as life continues to throw things at me and winter leaves me with nothing to look forward to for months it is a bit more of a struggle. I'm pushing hard not to need meds but this may be the year I cave. As it is I really can't sit still long enough to watch a tv show or read much.
The depression/anxiety duo has been the monkey on my back for years. Lack of good insurance has kept me out of the meds/therapy treatment other than a short time about ten years ago. Never really shook of last winters SAD.
Exercise just makes me ill and I think of all the things I could be doing right now instead of trying to endure the awful pain and upset stomach of exercise. My favorite things to do are eat and watch TV. Trying new breweries keeps me out and seeing new places. Trouble is staying on a diet means 1 beer a night each weekend and eating 1/2 portions of food.
Then covid says 'no going out for you, everything's shut down'
So what do I do? Video games, talk on the phone for hours like a teenage girl, stick my nose into other peoples projects (Sorry Adrian) . There is new beer to try at the Supermarket, but I sure miss the feel of sitting at a bar and chatting with the staff.
"Never turn down an invite" has been mentioned and I agree with it totally.
I’ve fought depression/anxiety issues as far back as I can remember. Well before teen years. Allowed a dr I trusted in the early 80’s to try some of the big pharma ways of dealing with it, but found the treatment was WAY worse than the problem. Till I got married at 45, I just handled it by being a grumpy old fart. I was a curmudgeon at a very young age. My only blessing is I can laugh at myself, and find gallows humor in everything.
Never could understand folks that talk about that exercise endorphins high... don’t hep me, like a few folks have said. But I’ve always been active and, not having a garage, wrenching was mostly out in the sun! Gotta play! And I read a lot to distract me from being miserable!!! Westerns or detective stuff; anything to let my mind focus on something unimportant.
Great advice on here, and the community sharing is comforting.
The habits/lists type stuff is what helps my wife, but kills me. I’ve handled it the A. D. D. way... oh look. Squirrel ...
I am very fortunate that I do not have any depressive tendencies. Mrs. preach on the other hand has issues with bipolar and depression.
Meds are taken, it is very very important to talk with your doctor about exactly how you feel on the medications so they can help you get the right balance so you are hitting on all cylinders. This took my wife quite some time and I had to offer input often. She has a great balance now. Honestly, it is so berkeleying nice. She was pretty berkeleyed up for a while.
In the winter she uses one of the above mentioned lights and it also does wonders for her.
I guess the only other thing I can offer is to get your loved ones involved. Me sensing a low spot in my wife's mood enables me to retell a funny story or pick up some flowers when I am out or cook her one of her favorite meals.
Remember to talk to someone, even if it is here. Holding E36 M3 inside will not help.
I’ve only seen meds and modern medicine help a very small percentage... but that percentage it’s a total life changer!!! Absolutely cannot function without it.
I know folks that meds has/would help, but don’t take for various reasons. Hard to focus on getting the right balance when someone is too depressed to function.
Another group that has pursued that path and it just doesn’t work. No clue where those percentages fall.
Everybodys cause/effect is different. The only constant is having a place to be accepted with compassion and openness. Don’t matter if it friends, family (sometimes they can be the worst enemy) a dr. , through a church or support group... or a forum as cool as this to reach out too!! Talking to someone ain’t always it. But as you see, brother, you got support here.!
you can vent, talk it out, or just hang out. We got ya covered!
Streetwiseguy said:Say yes to stuff. I will do things with, and for, friends that I would just blow off if I were only going to disappoint myself by not doing them.
This is my go to. Rarely do I say no.
I think this list points out how much we need friends, we need each other. It is hard to eat well, hard to exercise and sometimes hard to get out into your garage and fix something so you can go out and race. People cheering you on helps, and sometimes we need help doing the smallest things. There are people I have cut out of my life and it has so helped me. There have been times in my life where I was dragged to something, or started/gone somewhere under protest. As you have all been there, you are usually glad you were "forced" to help or get out of yourself. Again, we need each other. What was the expression--"shared suffering is suffering halved"?
Thank you; all of you.
thedoc said:I think this list points out how much we need friends, we need each other. It is hard to eat well, hard to exercise and sometimes hard to get out into your garage and fix something so you can go out and race. People cheering you on helps, and sometimes we need help doing the smallest things. There are people I have cut out of my life and it has so helped me. There have been times in my life where I was dragged to something, or started/gone somewhere under protest. As you have all been there, you are usually glad you were "forced" to help or get out of yourself. Again, we need each other. What was the expression--"shared suffering is suffering halved"?
I think this is part of why this "pandemic" is so hard for some of us. The things we need to do to stay mentally healthy have been taboo and not allowed since APRIL. 8 berkeleying months of psuedo isolation forced on us and literally no end in sight. How are we supposed to cope? Manage our actual illness? We don't and when you bring it up (even here at times) youre met with berkeley you deal with it. It's not that hard. Get over it.
Its my berkeleying bday and we're facing another round of restrictions. Friends I desperately want to see for the first time in months are scared by the 24/7 news cycle. So here I am. Angry.
Why did you put pandemic in quotes?
In reply to mtn (Forum Supporter) :
Do you really have to ask that..
If you have a force feedback sim rig set up, I will say that Dirt Rally counts as both exercise and entertainment.
mtn (Forum Supporter) said:Why did you put pandemic in quotes?
I mean if you REALLY want to go down that road fine. Just know I'm angry, tired, fed up and depression is literally tryingto ovewhelm me. So if you want to turn my one safe place to be into E36 M3, bring it.
This might be the most civil. raw, honest, and wholesome internet thread about anxiety/depression that I've ever been a part of.
Very refreshing, and if anything it just proves that NOONE IS ALONE IN THEIR BATTLES. Sometimes there's a lot of strength in numbers- knowing that you aren't an outcast or are fighting similar fights with friends and colleagues is a good thing, and one that makes me feel, at the very least, less like an outsider in this wierd wierd world.
Love you all, no hyperbole.
bobzilla said:mtn (Forum Supporter) said:Why did you put pandemic in quotes?
I mean if you REALLY want to go down that road fine. Just know I'm angry, tired, fed up and depression is literally tryingto ovewhelm me. So if you want to turn my one safe place to be into E36 M3, bring it.
Please dont. :( Aren't there other threads to debate this? haha
In reply to mtn (Forum Supporter) :
When you see something off-topic you don't like, just keep scrolling. No need to hash this thread up.
In reply to bobzilla :
HBD! Are you coming over Sunday for a garage fix and people cheering you on?
I'm honestly curious. Why would you put pandemic in quotes? That is what it is. A pandemic. It isn't fake.
So are you trolling? Because your putting it in quotes elicits the same response of rage to me, that my asking the question probably does to you.
I'm about to have my daughters first Christmas, and we probably can't have her grandparents there, after we never got a Christmas with our firstborn because she was killed by a berkeleying virus. We can't go to Church. We started the year between my wife and I with 4 jobs. Right now we have 1. Because of the pandemic. And people are acting like its fake?
GTFOH with that E36 M3. Be unhappy and angry and pissed at it all you want. But don't try to say the reason you're pissed and angry and unhappy is fake.
And I'm outta the thread.
In reply to golfduke :
Depression/sadness/anxiety whatever anyone labels their feelings as shouldn't be a contest. We're all pushing through something and just because someone's situation may seem better or worse than another's doesn't mean they're able to handle it the same way. Often we are so focused on our own problems that we lose empathy for what everyone around us is dealing with. Threads like this are a nice reminder that all our lives are a mess to some extent and we can all learn and share a bit to make things easier.
Wally (Forum Supporter) said:In reply to golfduke :
Depression/sadness/anxiety whatever anyone labels their feelings as shouldn't be a contest. We're all pushing through something and just because someone's situation may seem better or worse than another's doesn't mean they're able to handle it the same way. Often we are so focused on our own problems that we lose empathy for what everyone around us is dealing with. Threads like this are a nice reminder that all our lives are a mess to some extent and we can all learn and share a bit to make things easier.
Unless you disagree with someone and then its a E36 M3 show too. I know that we all deal with things in our own way. Discounting someone else's coping and anger or dismissing it as not valid has never helped anyone. You would think a topic about MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES would be safer than that. I guess people can't helpe being people.
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