Habits/Routine to battle Depression?

One thing I recommend you don't do is when you're frustrated because you can't sleep and sad for no discernible reason, DO NOT start taking "am i bipolar" tests online at midnight.  Because the interwebs say i am.  My highs are insanely high and my lows are suicidally low.  
 

as of late practicing meditation and mindfulness has been helping me keep closer to the middle with less huge swings, but SAD is kicking in and i really need some sunshine and i am feeling it hard.  Brain takes me to bad places when this happens.  It's not easy to wade through the bullE36 M3 of the past and leave it behind for good when it smashes you in the face like a kardashian that just met a D list soundcloud rapper.  

Well because it's been 3 months since my last appointment I'll have to do another pair of intake sessions virtually with the sun I had before that I didn't like and then get re assessed. No thanks. 

In reply to bobzilla :

I'm baffled by the therapists decision.  Even in NY I can do pretty much anything, even get a massage but I know exactly one person who's seen their therapist in person, and they have to sit outside in bubbles. I'm doing ok with calls but would much prefer in person. 

Today is definitely a "this would  be better if i had a 9mm slug for lunch" day

Meditations - Wikipedia   Stoicism.   

Understand that you cannot influence what is happening around you all the time.  Usually you can only influence your response.   

One wise person told me that depression is the mind's reaction to unrequited anger.   Anger puts others rent free into your  head.

  Work on forgiveness - its a gift you give to yourself - its not rebuilding trust with the  person who wronged you, which is not necessary for forgiveness.

Wally (Forum Supporter) said:

In reply to bobzilla :

I'm baffled by the therapists decision.  Even in NY I can do pretty much anything, even get a massage but I know exactly one person who's seen their therapist in person, and they have to sit outside in bubbles. I'm doing ok with calls but would much prefer in person. 

They're being directed to do so. 

I didn't read through the whole thread so maybe this was already covered, but anyways.... Every year around the middle of December I would go into a pretty bad funk that would last months. Just down, you know, real down. Bad enough that people close to me would comment on it, even though I always tried to hide it. So I did some reading, learned a little about seasonal depression. A person commented that it was due to a lack of sun and vitamin d helped. So I got some vitamin d and a multivitamin, because even though I was pretty skeptical what could it hurt, right? I got to tell you, I feel a lot better. Back to my old self. So I highly recommend that. It might not work that good for everyone, but it can't hurt, right?

In reply to bobzilla :

I guess my point was I don't understand how they're pretty much the only profession left being directed not to see anyone. I can't think of another business that can't have any contact at all. 

Wally (Forum Supporter) said:

In reply to bobzilla :

I guess my point was I don't understand how they're pretty much the only profession left being directed not to see anyone. I can't think of another business that can't have any contact at all. 

I know. I'm just a little fed up and angry at all of this crap right now and what helps I am not allowed etc etc etc. Just.... too much some days. Not Patrick levels for me yet, but keep this E36 M3 up ....

gearheadmb said:

I didn't read through the whole thread so maybe this was already covered, but anyways.... Every year around the middle of December I would go into a pretty bad funk that would last months. Just down, you know, real down. Bad enough that people close to me would comment on it, even though I always tried to hide it. So I did some reading, learned a little about seasonal depression. A person commented that it was due to a lack of sun and vitamin d helped. So I got some vitamin d and a multivitamin, because even though I was pretty skeptical what could it hurt, right? I got to tell you, I feel a lot better. Back to my old self. So I highly recommend that. It might not work that good for everyone, but it can't hurt, right?

depends on the level of hell your mind has created for you and the nature of your depression. Simple things like that can help, or not. 

I need to reread this thread for ideas, I’ve been spiraling for a few days now.  Woke up from a nightmare early Sunday, and proceeded to have a few shots to calm me down.  I barely drink at all.  Haven’t really been feeling better since then, either.

In reply to Patrick (Forum Supporter) :

I'm going to mimic that. Never listen to the thoughts that hit you in the dead of night.  They are awful and most sinister.

Saw a very interesting presentation on this today at work. Overview of lots of studies of burnout across many different professions. Some nuggets:

1. People at highest risk include: those who closely tie their identity to their job, those in a helping profession, those who have been called to go above and beyond
2. Insomnia is more closely correlated to (and thus a better predictor of) attempted suicide than a previous attempted suicide
3. Conventional wisdom says that PTSD and Depression comes from a really painful or emotionally charged event or series of events (think military members). That is false, true causes are: a feeling of isolation, unknown duration of stressful input, and lack of privacy.
4. Many times our roles or our positions in society actively work against our ability to admit we need help - ie. "people have always told me I'm the stable one", "you don't get to become an X without having a strong mental disposition", etc. This is truly one of those cases where you need to put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping others. 

I was really struck by the true causes of PTSD and Depression, and how exactly they line up with what we are all experiencing with Covid. 

Patrick (Forum Supporter) said:

Today is definitely a "this would be better if i had a 9mm slug for lunch" day

Never met you Pat but I sure hope you were still around for supper tonight.

I want you to know your repeated meditation suggestions have been helpful for me during a time of surprising crappyness. I really want to come visit you someday when I travel and visit my folks up the road from you in Wooster. Having said all that, I really hope you choose to keep the ammo locked away. 

Keep going. 

In reply to OHSCrifle :

Stuff is locked up around here on purpose.  Thankfully i used some of my tools to help pull out of the nose dive. I just finished meditating in front of the SAD lamp.  I feel quite a bit better than this morning, it just got to be too much last night and carried over.  I laid in bed till well after midnight frustrated that I couldn't fall asleep and that carried straight through my dreams and into the morning.  

My motorcycles don't have snow tires but I totally understand where he's coming from.

Unfortunately, I have been out riding a couple times and that little voice starts up. "See that truck? Just a little to the left, I bet it won't even hurt... Maybe a little pinch but it would be over quick..."

For a while there my wife was really concerned about me riding but, thankfully, I haven't been feeling that way for a year or so.

The frightening thing was, It felt comforting somehow. Knowing that there was a quick way out if it ever came to it and it was parked right there in the garage, three different suicide machines to pick from, it would be so easy. 

It's like knowing that I had that option kept me from doing anything stupid. Like it made it easy to just put it off for another day.

I will say that meditation and journaling has helped a lot, it's given me the ability to see the situation starting and make an effort to get myself out of it.

In reply to Patrick (Forum Supporter) :

I understand that. I'm down to about 4 hours of restless sleep right now. sure makes it harder to get into the right mindset for the day. 

I haven't had more than 5 hours of sleep a night in 6 months.

Robbie (Forum Supporter) said:

Saw a very interesting presentation on this today at work. Overview of lots of studies of burnout across many different professions. Some nuggets:

 

1. Conventional wisdom says that PTSD and Depression comes from a really painful or emotionally charged event or series of events (think military members). That is false, true causes are: a feeling of isolation, unknown duration of stressful input, and lack of privacy.

 

I was really struck by the true causes of PTSD and Depression, and how exactly they line up with what we are all experiencing with Covid. 

 

A few years ago, there was a very interesting article in Vanity Fair,I think, about ptsd.  A lot of it made a great deal of sense to me.  Two of the things that stuck out were a higher incidence in people who were not on the front lines in battle, but in those sitting back and waiting, and the other was that it really came out more once people were out of the company of people who had shared battle experience, and back into the real world.

Edit:  Here it is.Vanity Fair PTSD

In reply to Streetwiseguy :

My first experience of PTSD was after 9/11. I spent the first two weeks supporting fire companies in queens and transporting AF MEs back and forth and spent very little time at the actual site. It still took more out of me than I was expecting. 
 

I'm not sure if it's comforting or frightening that so many of us are headed the same way but it's probably good that we're talking about it. 

Appleseed said:

 

I haven't had more than 5 hours of sleep a night in 6 months.

Right there with you. Well figuratively anyway. Unless I take Z-quil. Then I get 6 hours.

This conversation topic prompted me to finally reach out to my doc today. At my annual physical last fall we talked and he said if things don't improve to contact him. It was basically a note to self: Mental health no different than physical health - if you don't feel good.. stop being so stubborn. Telemedicine visit 7:30am tomorrow. 

OHSCrifle said:

Appleseed said:

 

I haven't had more than 5 hours of sleep a night in 6 months.

 ..Mental health no different than physical health - if you don't feel good.. stop being so stubborn...

I struggled for decades before I followed this advice.  Also, therapy is hard and teletherapy is not as good but do it anyway.  One needs to use all the tools available to them and if the tools you're using aren't working try different tools.
 

for alternative teletherapy, angrycorvair can be reached at 

seven 3 4

six 3 4 

six 5 6 6 

if anyone needs to reach out

text first so i recognize the number when you call.  open 7AM - 11PM Eastern, 7 days a week

In reply to AngryCorvair (Forum Supporter) :

Ever consider changing your handle to Friendly Corvair?

Hang in there people. We're in this together.

wheelsmithy (Joe-with-an-L) (Forum Supporter) said:

In reply to AngryCorvair (Forum Supporter) :

Ever consider changing your handle to Friendly Corvair?

go berkeley yourself.

see what I did there?!?!