Having problems spending money....

I have the same problem as the OP. I work as a ME and my wife and I over the last 5 years have been following the Dave Ramsey step process and have found ourselves at step 7. We are having problems switching from save to spend, and I still stress about money like I don't have it, when in fact I do. We will spend money sometimes but, I especially have stress about it. I am "cheap" and I don't really like it, but I worry about the future and therefore still am driven towards "cheapness"...

Sorry this doesn't really help but to the OP, your not alone. There is a lot to be said about the reality that when you get to the point where you owe no one anything a large weight is lifted, but the underlying stress is still there for me.

In reply to nocones:

i am not yet at step 7, but i dream about it some nights, . my wife and i are partway through step 5, ie not saving enough to pay 100% of the kids' projected college bills, but doing our best. like DR says, they can get student loans easier than i can get a retirement loan, LOL.

to the OP: pick up dave ramsey's "Financial Peace" book and read it. then document your income / outgo. this process will either confirm that you're doing it right (and let you relax a little) or it'll point out where you need to improve. as far as what other people say or how they judge you, berkeley EM!

AngryCorvair wrote: i am not yet at step 7, but i dream about it some nights, . my wife and i are partway through step 5, ie not saving enough to pay 100% of the kids' projected college bills, but doing our best. like DR says, they can get student loans easier than i can get a retirement loan, LOL.

Ahh true, we were able to skip Step 5 due to unfortunate family circumstances resulting in my Mom setting up a trust to specifically take care of her Grandkids education.

Still stuck on step 2 here, but I'm investigating some ways to make some additional cash...

Osterkraut wrote: Uhhh, start dating an incredibly attractive, high-maintenance broad?

Ya know how they say a boat is a hole in the water you throw money into? Well sometimes a woman is the same way only without the lake.

Nis14 wrote: To give a little background, I grew up poor. Went clothes shopping once a year never bought name brands, if I really wanted something I would save and save to get it.

So you have the Depression mentality. In a way, it's good because you'll avoid money issues. However, having such an adversarial relationship w/ money is also unhealthy.

Growing up (specifically, pre-7th grade) we really didn't have much. Not poor, but very far from priviledged. I grew up with a burning envy of others who had more. My Mom has always been incredibly frugal. As a result, I've grown up to be very materialistic and I don't agonize over purchases. Made the decision to buy my house in an hour. Bought 2 cars sight unseen (one new, one used).

Working in retail, I see people who agonize over buying a $200 bicycle or a tennis racket and I think "Christ--I bought a house faster than you bought a berkeleying bicycle".

I'm not a big spender/big baller by any means, but if I want something, I get it without much deliberation. I've been very smart with money, have great credit, little debt, so it's not an issue. Oddly enough, I couldn't say we (wife and I) were even comfortable until maybe 2 years ago. Now, we tend to enjoy life a bit more every now and then.

Life is short. Stop worrying so much and enjoy it a bit. It'll be fine.

Nis14 wrote: So as the title may suggest I am having a mental block when it comes to spending. This has been a problem that has been brought up by my friends, numerous girlfriends, and even my boss. Mostly saying that I am cheap. I work in advertising in NYC. I make a decent amount of money. But it seems like whenever I have money I end up holding it so tight that it hurts when I spend it. I constantly stress about money. To give a little background, I grew up poor. Went clothes shopping once a year never bought name brands, if I really wanted something I would save and save to get it. Now I still have the same habits. I don't really shop for clothes, I don't really go out for nice dinners, broadway shows. Even when I buy stuff for the car I stress over which part to get and if I am doing the right thing. Anywords of wisdom from the GRM guys...

Money is a tool, tools are made to be used, the more you use tools the better you get using them. Sometimes you will use the wrong tool for the job at hand.Money wont buy true love or devotion or happiness or any other thing people will tell you to have to make your life "complete".Only you will define where you want to be at the end of today or tomorrow. Spend some money and see what makes you feel good, Rolex watches or a warm coat for a cold child, or the smell of tire smoke on a drifting Corvette.

Thanks guys this really helps a lot.

I work in the media arm of advertising.

I am working on learning to not be so uptight about money. Actually bought a butune soldering iron and a cook book off of amazon today. Didn't really feel bad about it.

As for the women in my life. I date a lot of Korean women. Culturally they expect the man to take care of everything even in the early phases of the relationship. Funny thing is my boss knows when I am dating because I am more stressed about money.

Luckily the girl I am seeing now is less maintenance than those before her. I am trying to train her ....:/

Slowly but surely.