He who smelt it...

....Must have dealt it.

No one wants to be the stinky kid, but I think this might be going to far:

http://www.cfnews13.com/News/CountyByCounty/CountyStories/2009/3/18/he_who_smelt_it_must_have_farted_on_the_bus.html

That story brought to you by Central Florida News, "your BREAKING NEWS Station." Hard hitting stuff

Hey Wally...why do bus drivers suck?

It comes from dealing with the people who ride buses, have you seen some of these people. I'm shocked that anyone would let you skip the smelly people though. I would love to see something like that here. The worse they smell the more likely they are to sit under the intake for the climate control, sharing their stench with the rest of the bus. When I was in training I rode with an older women for a couple days. She was a small, grandmotherly lady, but when someone partuicularly smellt boarded the bus she pulled out an industrial sized can of Lysol and gave them a shower. The great unwashed ain't gonna ruin her day.

"An official school bus misbehavior form reads, "Johnathon passes gas on the bus to make the other children laugh, and it is so stink that you can't breathe after he does it."

It is SO STINK

Luke wrote: That story brought to you by Central Florida News, "your BREAKING NEWS Station." Hard hitting stuff

Yeah, but they have Digital Doppler X3!

when I was in seventh grade I lit a match on the bus. I got busted and turned into the principal and scolded big time.

when i tell the 6th/7th grade boys that I teach Sunday school (I know, I know), they think it is the funniest thing.

But this young man will live with this act forever

pete240z wrote: But this young man will live with this act forever

Wow. That's some fart.

one of the last time I rode a school bus.. which sucked as it was an hour trip for me.. but 20 minutes by car.. a piece of paper blew around the inside of the bus and then out the window.

The driver immediatly pulled over and demanded to know who threw the paper out the window.. and when nobody would confess.. turned the bus around and took us back to school.

I was 17 (and days from getting my vw on the road) and needed to go to work. I wound up being 2 hours late with no way to tell work I was going to be late because of this...

If the Bus driver in that story cannot find humor in a fart.. needs to find a job that does not require a sense of humour

The kids name is John Locke. Maybe it wasn't him because we all know John Locke is dead.

When I was in middle school a kid spit out the window at a cop car. The spit went through his open window and got him in the chest. Needless to say he did a hot pursuit u-turn. Hit the lights and siren and pulled the bus over. He threatened to haul us all to the station for assault if we didn't rat out the guilty party. Real funny the next week, not so funny with Mr Police Man staring you down.

Mazdax605 wrote: The kids name is John Locke. Maybe it wasn't him because we all know John Locke is dead.

WHAT!?!?

Thanks for ruining it for me, asshat!

After St pats day , oh no the corned beef and cabbage gives me the wind

Funny this should come up. I saw a bumper sticker on a a Toyota today that read "I heart to fart" fart was actualy a little red heart but you knew that so...

That had to be one nasty air biscuit if the driver smelled it.

consider how nasty and unwashed a lot of teen boys are... yes

My first day on the job today had a funny situation with me, a fart, and about 10 people in close proximity to me. Apparently, those chairs that support you just by a taught piece of fabric are not good at muffling the sound of a fart (you know, you can fart pretty hard in a leather chair and nobody will hear it). In fact, these fabric chairs seem to make even the most polite squeekers sound like they were put up to a megaphone.

Anyway, I forgot about the fact that I wasn't in a leather chair and kinda let one rip. Nobody looked or laughed, but I'm sure everyone knew it was me. It was pretty loud.

This story is just another ridiculous display of the failure of natural selection to pick off idiotic mother truckers like this bus driver in their youth.

heh.. I remember some pretty miserable bus driver's in my youth.

I went to a private christian school.. but our bus carried both us and the students from the public school.

We had to sit on one side of the bus in assigned seats. The public school kids got to sit where ever there was room. She was also harder on us, and would often demand that we sit in silence.

pete240z wrote: But this young man will live with this act forever

If he was with the right crowd before he could turn it around into a funny and cool story...but judging by the acne, he probably wasn't.

Man, if I'd gotten to throw kids off the bus every time they farted I'd have spent a lot of time driving empty buses around. I once had a kid who thought it would be funny to breath horrible onion breath into a plastic bag and make the other kids he was sitting with smell it. He ended up taking the whole 40-minute ride to the end of the route and then I delivered him straight back to the school for some good ol' detention, but we didn't kick him off. (He did get himself kicked off later for whipping an apple out the window at another kid on a bike though.)

Sometimes I miss that job. If you're ever wondering whether or not you should have kids, try dealing with thirty of someone else's every day.

J

I miss having kids around. Grocery shopping with a four year old and you drop a bomb that makes the labels on the canned goods curl up. A little old lady pushes her cart right through the contaminated area; you can see right away it effects her. She stares at me. I look at the kid "Damn boy, you been eating dead rats again?"

No one to blame it on now but the wife....

mad_machine wrote: heh.. I remember some pretty miserable bus driver's in my youth. I went to a private christian school.. but our bus carried both us and the students from the public school. We had to sit on one side of the bus in assigned seats. The public school kids got to sit where ever there was room. She was also harder on us, and would often demand that we sit in silence.

Did you ever consider that the bus driver was protecting you.

914Driver wrote: No one to blame it on now but the wife....

Have you ever pulled "the Ventriloquist"?

I will head over to where my wife is in the store, drop the silent bomb and discreatly disappear. She is left standing alone and looks to be the guilty party.

jrw1621 wrote:

mad_machine wrote: heh.. I remember some pretty miserable bus driver's in my youth. I went to a private christian school.. but our bus carried both us and the students from the public school. We had to sit on one side of the bus in assigned seats. The public school kids got to sit where ever there was room. She was also harder on us, and would often demand that we sit in silence.

Did you ever consider that the bus driver was protecting you.

nah, we did not grow up in the city.. the other bus drivers never needed to segregate the kids and nothing bad ever happened on those buses.

On a related fart story. My father and I both have chrohns disease. I do remember sitting in the car with him while my mom and sis were in a store. We basically "hot boxed" it in noxious fumes.. when my mom and sis opened the door (it was winter) they almost got knocked back on their behinds

I had a friend whom would, with regularity, clear a school bus. He'd eat sloppy joe's before every road trip. I'd stay on the bus, just to prove that it could be done.