Home Improvement Projects with the WIFE!

I am going to be married 28 years in February - it started in 1987 when we hung wallpaper in our bedroom (when people still put up wallpaper) and we ended up call it "divorce paper" by the time we finished.

One month ago we started on a powder room light remodel and I am ready to bounce a hammer on her skull - little lady I love you but we had best not start up a home remodeling business together.

She doesn't understand that you WILL run into problems and you need to double the time needed. She bought red oak trim and was surprised when I stained it that it had a red hue to it. You did BUY red oak wood? I just needed to vent - and now I am getting yelled at about buying an extra bag of apples when we HAD APPLES in the garage fridge.

Well quit buying apples then! Though- I feel your pain. We've just passed 6 years and I hear "I want to do xxx with yyy" and if it involves anything that could remotely require even the tiniest bit of my supervision, it ends up my job. And then I threaten to kill her. Like when she wanted to clean the dishwasher and wouldn't you know it I learned how to be a dishwasher mechanic at 3am.

You should have gone with recreational, in-door plumbing.

We're in the middle of a bathroom reno right now.

Due to the picky, anal retentive nature of my day job, my bathroom is taking extra long.

My wife is finally understanding why anything that is not cheap, spec-home, big-box-store crap costs at least twice as much and takes three times as long to do.

My wife of 28 years and I do projects together all the time. We get along well except for when it comes time to pick up something heavy. Recently we have gone to a new rule. If I'm the one doing the majority of the lifting, I get to decide how it gets picked up. Seems to be working for me. Today we cut up and scraped copper pipe, went to the dump, and cleaned the basement. She only complained about all the cars in the driveway once.

Huh. Think my wife feels that way about me. I'm a good mechanic. But an around the house handy man, not so hot. Though she's more tolerant than you. Like that time I took the bathroom apart, because remodeling, including moving everything, that's an afternoon job, right? We showered in the back yard for a few days. Good thing it was summer.

SWMBO and I do home renovations together regularly as well as other projects. Some go well, so go poorly, but all of them take twice as long as expected and cost at least 1/3 as much as expected. Sadly we have our moments of strain when ever she is using power tools and insists on doing it "herself" As a side not we both still have all our fingers and toes so she is doing something right.

Here's a VERY important tip for you guys. If she wants a room painted. Have her paint a spot on the wall and watch the paint dry. This is to ensure that it's the berkeleying color she wanted in the first place! Last time, I just simply painted a very large room with the paint she bought from the store. She says the color is perfect and points to the paint card and top of paint can. Ok dear, I'll get started in a few. She leaves and I paint. She comes home 8 hours later and says "that is not the color I picked." It's too light. Doh!!! Yep, had to spend 8 hours more repainting the berkeleying room with her new "correct" paint color. After that, there has not been an issue with paint again for 20+ years so far.

In reply to Sine_Qua_Non:

In that extreme example, you hand her a paintbrush and go out for 8 hours yourself. i imagine there would be a better appreciation of doing it right the first time when you got back.

Or you'd be divorced....what the hell do I know? ;)

^ This.

Got complained at the other day about how long the reno was taking and the "why can't you put the toilet and sink back and finish the shower later"

me: "Well dear, it's because I need to paint the wall behind the sink and the toilet before I put them back and in order to do that, you need to E36 M3 or get off the pot and pick a paint colour like I've asked you to do three times already!"

She's picking out paint this week.

I did a rewire job with my FIL and afterwards I appreciate doing this stuff with my wife, she is OCD but nothing compare to her dad!

The only real problem I had with the ex was that she got all excited about HGTV and would have "ideas" of what I could do to improve the family castle on weekends. Well, I'm a handyman by profession so I like doing these things but she never understood why it took longer than a 1 hour show to do a 40 hour job (without editing, infinite budget, and off camera help)

New SWMBO appreciates everything I do and stays out of my way. Huge improvement!

I have been building a HUGE retaining wall (like 70 feet long) with the wife on and off since August. There have been many battles in relation to this damn wall. In fact, we had a nice little one yesterday because I didn't realize that I was going to have to hand pie cut a six foot wide half-circle (that she just had to have) of 4" thick topper stones to finally finish off this beast (until next summer when we install a patio). This did not make me a happy camper and she just didn't get why this bothered me.

Renoed the basement 22 years ago. Honey, can you help me lift the drywall up to the ceiling"

"What, are you berkeleying nuts?"

End of house renos. Call contractor. Cheaper than divorce and much more time in the garage where I would rather be.

We do a lot together, most conflicts arise over aesthetics. But yes, everything takes longer than credit is initially given for it. One time, about a year ago, SWMBO says "crown molding would really compliment this room" after we painted and refurnished it. I bite. Although it turned out great, I am now forbidden from doing any crown molding that does not involve 90 degree angles. Took several days, several trips to the store, much waste, and lots of swearing.

KyAllroad wrote: New SWMBO appreciates everything I do and stays out of my way. Huge improvement!

That's the best kind of home improvement!

Many years ago my dad told me there are three things married couples don't try to do together:

1. Paint/remodel

2. One teach the other how to drive a manual trans.

3. Canoe Trips

20 years in I'll tell you without hesitation, he was right on all three counts.

A little context, after our first "big fight" as a married couple (related to item 2), he says, "Are you an idiot? There are three things married people should never do . . . "

He's a wise man. Of course, me being an idiot, we've tried 1 and 3 in the years since just to test his theory.

In reply to kazoospec:

that sounds pretty on point (although I've only failed at instructing one person in learning manual trans, they got the clutch down, but couldn't wrap their mind around how an H pattern works)

kazoospec wrote: Many years ago my dad told me there are three things married couples don't try to do together: 1. Paint/remodel 2. One teach the other how to drive a manual trans. 3. Canoe Trips 20 years in I'll tell you without hesitation, he was right on all three counts. A little context, after our first "big fight" as a married couple (related to item 2), he says, "Are you an idiot? There are three things married people should never do . . . " He's a wise man. For course, me being an idiot, we've tried 1 and 3 in the years since just to test his theory.

What the hell...I've already screwed-up the first two...I need to take the little woman on a canoe trip then.

My wife travels for work occasionally. The majority of home reno projects happen when she travels. I gutted and remodeled a full bathroom in three different weekends over a year only working when she was out of town.

If she's around she wants to have input. If she comes home to something completed she just enjoys it. Keeps me sane.

i have to remodel 75% of my main floor in my place in the next 6 months. the wife can pick the colours and suggest layout but thats it. i'd rather use my dad to help cause he follows directions then my wife.

i attemped Kazoospec's #2 and that's where i drew the line for working together.