Home Schooling

SVreX wrote: Let me answer your question with a question. Did you ask yourself if you would be a good parent before having kids? Were you confident you'd be good at it? Did you make your decisions based on whether or not you would scar your kids for life because of your inexperience at parenting?

No, but the decision was a bit different. We didn't sit down an plan our love-making for a year or two before. Sometimes kids happen as a result. School has to happen and you have much more time to prepare. But I do get your point.

SVreX wrote: Please don't be offended, but honestly, you are being a bit narcissistic.

Paul, I'm not sure you could offend me. I have respect for you so don't worry about that. But what do you mean? I don't think I have an undue fascination with myself.

SVreX wrote: Also... Why is it her problem?? Where are you gonna be? Can't you augment what she can do? Shouldn't you help her learn how to multi-task better?

I'll be working. I will take an interest in their schooling no matter where they go, but I don't want them to spend, let's say 6 hours being schooled, then I come home and have to spend a few more hours correcting, or clarifying things. If I had to do that now, I'd be pulling them from that class/school pretty quickly.

SVreX wrote: Yep, it's an experiment. Welcome to life. It's all an experiment. Every day I keep trying to do it better. What are you gonna do if the great public school experiment fails and screws up your kids? There sure are plenty who it has hurt. At least when home schooling, you have some influence and ability to keep trying new things and correct the path when things don't go well. Don't expect the public schools to do that for you. Sometimes we try a curriculum or technique that doesn't work so good. We change. Not too hard.

OK, I gocha on that. Makes sense. But here's my thing. When you say you try a curriculum and it doesn't work, you can adjust. How much time would you want to spend going from this curriculum to that curriculum? Seems hard on the kids, but maybe it's not.

SVreX wrote: There is a core thing that happens for home schoolers that few people consider. Your kids get the message that you care. Instead of sending them off to the asylum we call "school", they see you investing in their lives every day. They see you helping them guide them through this scary experiment called life. Homeschooling is hard. They see you willing to work hard for them.

This is the only reason I even could consider home schooling. I just really feel the adult needs to be a good teacher. With that said, our kids are in one of the best schools in the state (not district, the state) so I really don't think we'd be doing them a service by pulling them out. Now, if we still lived in Detroit, I'd have never even sent them in the first place.

SVreX wrote: You will never have a teacher that loves your kids as much as you do.

That's a very powerful statement.

Thanks for your insight. I'm not 100% opposed to home schooling, but in my current situation, they are doing very well in school and are being challenged. That's all I ask.

We home school our kids and this is common in Texas, but not for a reason that I have seen mentioned. Most families that home school in texas are extremely conservative Religious fundamentalists. This leaves my family in an odd position because we are not particularly conservative or religious. My wife stays at home and schools our minions, but we made this decision because neither public nor private schools came close to satisfying what we expect from our schools and our kids.

In reply to DrBoost:

My wife and I have a plan related to home schooling. We are not married to it. But at the beginning of each year, we sit down and ask, "what is the best educational opportunity we can provide for our children this year?" So far, homeschooling wins each year, but I am not opposed to other alternatives.

Our decision might be different if we lived in a good school district like you.

But we have also learned that there is a lot of depth to what the "best educational opportunity" is, and no teacher will ever love our kids the way we do. It's important- it's part of their education.

Regarding switching curriculums- Kids are flexible. It's much harder on the adults (who spend too much time stressing about how they are going to ruin their kids for life).

I agree with everything you said except this:

DrBoost wrote: I'll be working. I will take an interest in their schooling no matter where they go, but I don't want them to spend, let's say 6 hours being schooled, then I come home and have to spend a few more hours correcting, or clarifying things. If I had to do that now, I'd be pulling them from that class/school pretty quickly.

Schooling takes on a different dimension when you home school. It's not about class time, or hours per day, or school time/ after school time. It's a lifestyle. It's about teaching you kids when you rise, and when you go to bed, when you walk with them, or when they go to the fields with you. We are ALWAYS schooling. I teach at the dinner table. We teach on vacation. I teach in my shop working on cars, or mowing the lawn. It's part of the fabric of our lives. Yeah, my wife does some stuff during the day that resembles classroom time, but it is more like focused subject study time. Only a couple of hours per day. We are always teaching. And I am not off duty when I am at work. Sometimes they call with a problem, sometimes I study stuff during lunch, sometimes I speak with co-workers about homeschooling.

Oh, and I don't add to the school day by coming home and "correcting and clarifying" stuff. She is a trusted partner in our educating our kids. She teaches her way, I teach mine. Sometimes I help direct her, or guide her. It's kind of like she is the primary teacher, and I am both the teacher's aide, the field trip coordinator, and the principle.

my experience is pretty close to SVreX's, but we are just starting our second year of home schooling, and our kids are in 5th and 2nd grade. both were too smart to sit still, ie they "get it" the first time and then are just sitting there waiting for no child to be left behind or something.

every library, every church, every town, every museum, etc, has opportunities for "home school" kids to get involved and learn, either through lectures, classes, field trips, etc. i used the quotation marks above because i have found that very little of our home schooling is actually taking place at home.

last april, when my wife and i drove to road america for the chumpcar race, she spent the entire weekend in the hotel room reviewing curricula, on-line courses, etc, so she could plan the upcoming 6 months.

YMMV, but it's definitely the right choice for my family.

In reply to SVreX:

Thanks for your contribution to future generations of engineers and accountants!

All the people that I know were home schooled are either one or the other. But their social skills run the full spectrum.

LOL!

I've graduated 2. One is a top notch videographer, the other is working on her Master's in International Affairs, so I'm afraid I am no help so far, but I do have 3 more on their way who still have a chance to be engineers and accountants!

SVreX wrote: LOL! I've graduated 2. One is a top notch videographer, the other is working on her Master's in International Affairs, so I'm afraid I am no help so far, but I do have 3 more on their way who still have a chance to be engineers and accountants!

Not sure about accountants, but there are always articles in the news media about shortages of engineers, can you help us out with a donation of just one?

As a public school middle school teacher for 28 years I had a number of students who were previously home schooled. I would put them in 2 groups: those that were very good students and whoo were very poor students.

The good ones were usually more well rounded than the average student. Our 8th grade field trip was to the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History in DC. Each year prior to the trip I would ask my homeroom if any of them had been there. Usually 90% of those who had were previously home schooled. And they had been to more than just one of the Smithsonian Museums.

In my shop classes I found that they were better at problem solving and "thinking outside the box" than the public schooled students.

Unforunately the poor home schooled students generally came from the group mentioned by Ojala and were rather one dimensional in their thinking.

SVreX wrote: Regarding the multi-tasking, I will tell you the same thing I tell new homeschoolers when they ask me with great trepidation, "How am I gonna teach trigonometry??" My answer- he's 5. You don't have to. You will teach counting. While they are learning that, you will learn how to teach mathematics. Etc. etc. Similarly, your wife does not have to be a perfect teacher or multi-tasker from the start. She will start with what is needed, then learn better techniques and grow with the kids.

Disclaimer- I have no kids, and I'm kinda in a rush so sorry if I missed something in the post.

In college I had a friend who sortof home schooled his kids (this guy was not a student, but an employee). He has a masters degree in something or another, bachelors in physics, his wife is a pediatrician, and they still don't teach every subject to their kids. For the subjects the parents don't feel comfortable with, they take the kids a public school. Their oldest kid of 6 (holy crap i could never raise that many kids) is absolutely brilliant, he got 1 or 2 questions off of perfect on the ACT, and because he went to public school for a couple classes a day (or because his house if FULL of kids), he isn't totally socially inept. Does anyone else try this? I don't know what factors worked so well with him, but I don't see a problem with that method. I mean, except having to constantly drive your kids to and from school at random, off hours. Again, any thoughts from people with actual kids?

Do my kids count as actual kids?

Many homeschoolers do not have free access to public school classes or activities. Though many states permit it, it is always at the discretion of the local school superintendent. Career teaching professionals and school administrations frequently have strong resistance to home school kids cherry picking classes and resources and selectively using them as they wish (which makes sense, although I pay the same amount of school taxes as any other citizen). There is not generally a good communication and discourse between the home school community and the public schools. Both feel a little threatened by the other.

It is usually permissible, but frequently not encouraged or allowed.

SVreX wrote: Do my kids count as actual kids? Many homeschoolers do not have free access to public school classes or activities. Though many states permit it, it is always at the discretion of the local school superintendent. Career teaching professionals and school administrations frequently have strong resistance to home school kids cherry picking classes and resources and selectively using them as they wish (which makes sense, although I pay the same amount of school taxes as any other citizen). There is not generally a good communication and discourse between the home school community and the public schools. Both feel a little threatened by the other. It is usually permissible, but frequently not encouraged or allowed.

Of course your kids are actual! mine aren't, since I don't have any.

I didn't think of the communication problem and resistance to cherry picking. I guess that would make matters more complicated.

fastEddie wrote: ....The "lack of socialization" line always cracks me up, what kind of positive socialization happens at school?!....

It doesn't have to be positive to be useful. Learning how do deal with JackHoles can be very useful.

Just like in experiments, many times you learn a lot more from failures than successes.

Just re-reading through this thread and I wanted to restate something Paul said (and clarify one of my earlier statements).

Although my wife is the one who stays home all day with our 3 and is their primary teacher (hence my earlier 98% of the work comment), like others stated we really never stop homeschooling, it really is a 24/7/365 kind of thing. Not that you can't do that if your kids are in public school but again the main benefits to homeschooling are the flexibility and attention you can provide to your kids that they will not get at a public, private, charter or whatever school and not having to re-teach them (or help them really 'get' what they were 'taught' at school) at night when the come home with 3 hours worth of homework. I also help out as needed if parts of the school day aren't complete when I get home from work, or if teacher/student relations broke down a bit during the day! My wife and I discuss curriculum options, teaching methods for each kid, etc. and I always back her up if there are behavior issues (I'm the principal that gets called during the day while at work) so we certainly are a team, each with our own strengths and weaknesses.

As for the socialization, large group situations with peers usually result in the lowest common denominator type of results - how often does a group of 9 year olds get together and act like anything other than 0-9 year olds? We look at it as we are raising adults, not raising kids. The goal is that they become functional, well adjusted adults and there is no better way to learn something than by immersion - so instead of surrounding them with generally similar thinking and acting kids, homeschooling allows them to have much more adult interaction than they would get in a typical school setting and thus helps them mature faster, become more responsible, etc. I would have very little issue with our 17 y.o. moving to Japan right now (like she would love to) and doing just fine as an adult if she could afford to do it (and had a degree).

And I do agree you probably learn more from failure than anything thing else, which is why we let our kids make mistakes when it is not seriously harmful, so they can learn from them. The difference is they are surrounded by a helpful support group (family) when they make these mistakes and so we help them learn and recover and not kick them when they're down, make fun of them, etc. No we won't always be there to help them get back up again but they realize that and eventually are mature enough to realize their mistake soon after making it and take care of themselves or just suck it up and bear the consequences.

Very interesting stuff guys. Our peanut is growing like a weed, and I'm starting to sweat school. Public school is out of the question for me, but our only other options are Christian School (not my thing) Montessori (just not sure if it's my thing) or home-schooling.