How in the hell do people succeed?... Am I just terrible at Life?

I'm too far away to help wrench but I'd throw a few bucks into a kitty to help cover parts. 

TravisTheHuman said:

CrustyRedXpress said:

The_Jed said:

   I'd say roughly 100% of you guys are more successful than me. I would really like to know just how in the berkeley any of you made it to where you are today. 

Just fix your money issues. I graduated college with a philosophy degree, but most of my wealth came from 3 things:

I'm sorry, I cannot tell if this post is a joke.

Sorry if I wasn't clear-what part did you interpret as a joke?

The 3x income came from jumping from non-comission retail (~40k) to B2B software sales (~115k). Wife was increasing her income during that time as well but I can't  remember how much...we were able to put ~50% into the market (or Real Estate investments) because we kept our cost of living the same as it was when we were making far less.

It's been alluded to earlier in the thread but this sort of thing is pretty common in the FIRE community.

MrSmokey said:

For starters give 10% of your income to church or charity off the top before paying for anything else. You won't miss it and you'll likely start to prosper if you're doing the rest of the money management right... it's kinda like a law of nature

Somebody is at the end of their financial rope, and your suggestion is to tithe 10% because "you won't miss it"?  C'mon man, read the room here.  

MrSmokey said:

For starters give 10% of your income to church or charity off the top before paying for anything else. You won't miss it and you'll likely start to prosper if you're doing the rest of the money management right... it's kinda like a law of nature

I recommend The People Fund. 

Puddy46 said:

MrSmokey said:

For starters give 10% of your income to church or charity off the top before paying for anything else. You won't miss it and you'll likely start to prosper if you're doing the rest of the money management right... it's kinda like a law of nature

Somebody is at the end of their financial rope, and your suggestion is to tithe 10% because "you won't miss it"?  C'mon man, read the room here.  

That post made me lol wut hard. 

In reply to MrSmokey :

Tithing for profit, misses the point entirely.  And misses the point of the thread, as well. 

Don't feed the troll.

I feel better when I give money to tv preachers

In reply to johndej :

To paraphrase Ron White, I'm aware I have the right to remain silent, I just seldom have the ability. 
You are quite right. 

Either way, back on topic.   And in attempt to turn this in a positive direction:

The_Jed - I believe we've established by majority rule that you are NOT, in fact, terrible at life.  You've been dealt a E36 M3ty hand, for sure, but you're playing the cards you currently hold to the best of your ability.

So, that leaves changing the cards. 

What you need, my friend, is a goal.

The question you asked is "How do people succeed?"    I think you need to define what you see as success, and maybe we can help you get a direction towards it?

For example, do you define success as having enough to retire in 20 years?  What does "enough" look like to you?

Is success a better job, better house, etc., etc.?

Can you move to Canada for work?

Lots of places here in the prairies are looking for people. The job requirements are usually "show up".

Pay out here may not be great but it's cheaper to live so being broke is easier.

Got an email in my inbox the other day, power company is looking for linesmen in Oregon.

Pay is $65/hr and $100 per diem

Anything over 40hrs is double time.

BUT (and there is always a but)

• Its 6x10s
• Its in the middle of nowhere
• You gotta have your Journeyman's card

So thats $250k a year give or take.  But its a lot of work.

As Thomas Edison put it. "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work"   

In reply to ShawnG :

If I recall he does the same thing I do and we discussed that possibility in the past. Not sure why he never pursued it. 

Sounds like you're in a depressed small town with almost no opportunities. If I went back to my small town of 400 people in a very dead part of WV, I'd be starving or working at Dollar General. 

My advice is to move to a thriving area. I understand it takes money to move so my statement above is easy to say hard to execute. 

In reply to Scotty Con Queso :

That's a good point. 
 

I lived in a dead town for 15 years. When I sold my house, I had to take a $20,000 loss. I hated that after 15 years there was no growth at all. 
 

I moved to a high growth area. I was discouraged that I had to spend so much to buy a house there. A friend said "Well, the good news is that you are back in the appreciation cycle".

He was right. I sold that house 5 years later for a $200,000 gain.

I love living in a sleepy town without much drama and low costs.  But it's not a place for financial growth.

(although in this case, he may have a hard time affording to move to a thriving area)

In reply to SV reX :

That is a point, I moved from the small town I was living in to Pittsburgh seeking opportunities, didn't pan out, left there for the DC area where I had more contacts and it worked. 

I'm definitely better off than the vast majority of people who stayed in the small town I grew up in, or the one I lived in for college.

In reply to SV reX :

Exactly. Jed could no doubt make a lot of $$$ in DC or Miami. But he'd likely be poor again to afford the cost of living. 

Another though I had would be long haul trucking since the kids are old enough to be self reliant. That's what my neighbor does. He's an immigrant from Uzbekistan. Guy came here with little money or skills. Works as a trucker. His wife retail. They just bought a $400k plus home after living in a small apartment and saving up a down payment. Dude works his ass off but is doing well. His kids are thriving. I have a ton of respect for him. 

Sorry, didn't intend to rock the boat so bad... I'm only suggesting what has worked well in the past when I was in financial trouble and is still working for me and many others I know. Also, it's not tithing for profit and it doesn't necessarily need to be 10%. Anyway, carry on... 

Cool. Now that you've written down your goals.  Come up with a plan to achieve.  Slowly.  Patiently. Methodically 

The_Jed said:

Some people say college is not necessary but, I wholeheartedly disagree. I know what I've gone through in my working life and I want none of that for my kids. 

I think this depends a lot on the individual, some do well with it, some are indifferent, some would be better off without it.  But I agree with the goal of being prepared for it.

In reply to The_Jed :

To clarify...

I didn't mean to say college is unnecessary.  That's a personal decision. 
 

I meant to say that you don't need to be the one to PAY for it.

There are a LOT of ways that students can pay for their own college education.  Grants, scholarships, student loans, etc, etc.  Students have many more resources than they realize- parents are not obligated to be their bank (that's the easy route, but not in any way the only route).

I have 5 kids- all of them went to college.  Combined expense was probably about $300K.  I paid very little of that- perhaps $10K total combined.

A student who can keep their grades up and becomes active on the campus increases greatly their odds of scholarships, etc.

Is there someone you trust enough and is not judgemental that you would feel comfortable discussing this with? Maybe a brief weekly meeting to discuss where you are on the path to financial stability and to offer you support.

You sound a bit depressed (I'm not a medical professional, just experienced with depression). Find someone to talk with that will provide a distraction to your circumstances. This could be the same person as above.

Now you can down vote this next part, but a contribution to a church can really help.  If you are a Bible believing person you are instructed to do so. A lot do and a lot don't.  Your choice. It works for me. 

Set aside a portion (10%) to pay yourself first in a separate account or under your mattress. 

Use the dollar bill savings plan. It works. 

Best of luck with this. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. 

IMHO, Charity needs to start at home.  Once you get the means to make sure that you are safe and healthy, then it can extend out.  It shouldn't be a choice between charity and a safe, solid house; your kids education; means to get around that is safe and solid.  

And I kind of doubt that most churches will pressure you into giving them money when you need spiritual fulfillment but barely have the means to cover your own bills.  Are churches pay for pray these days?

In reply to alfadriver :

Charity does begin at home, hence my other comments. Do or don't. Up to the OP to decide.