How to handle this: Kid "disciplined" at school

With 3 kids in elementary school, and a wife that works at one, I see/hear the stuff all the time. If you ask me...and thankfully not many do...schools are way to easy these days. Not that they should go back to the days of a ruler across the knuckles, but c'mon. I'm also a very strict parent, and my kids are well behaved. But I'd be lying through my teeth if I said they never acted like a moron. They're kids...they do that sometimes. If my kid gets a note home from school that he/she was being a jacka$$ at school they get a ration of E36 M3 from me when they hand me the note (unless I have really good reason to think the note was unjustified). If there is something where I have a concern with the teacher or administration, I have no concerns with addressing it with them directly.

What really bugs me is that there are so many kids at school who are undisciplined and create trouble. Where does that behavior probably originate? At home. Yet heaven forbid the school impose any discipline on the kid...those very same parents will get Mr. Slimeball lawyer and sue the school saying that only they (the parents) have a right to discipline their kid.

I'm feeling a lot better about our decision to home school now.

Klayfish wrote: With 3 kids in elementary school, and a wife that works at one, I see/hear the stuff all the time. If you ask me...and thankfully not many do...schools are way to easy these days. Not that they should go back to the days of a ruler across the knuckles, but c'mon. I'm also a very strict parent, and my kids are well behaved. But I'd be lying through my teeth if I said they never acted like a moron. They're kids...they do that sometimes. If my kid gets a note home from school that he/she was being a jacka$$ at school they get a ration of E36 M3 from me when they hand me the note (unless I have really good reason to think the note was unjustified). If there is something where I have a concern with the teacher or administration, I have no concerns with addressing it with them directly. What really bugs me is that there are so many kids at school who are undisciplined and create trouble. Where does that behavior probably originate? At home. Yet heaven forbid the school impose any discipline on the kid...those very same parents will get Mr. Slimeball lawyer and sue the school saying that only they (the parents) have a right to discipline their kid.

I discipline my kids (9 and twin 7 year olds) more than most parents I know and agree that the schools are too easy. But to send a note home about repeating something that was publicly said about food? I just don't see this as needing disciplinary action. He will/does things that are him being a little E36 M3 and I will admit that.
I'm finding this public school to be hypersensitive unfortunately.

Grtechguy wrote: I discipline my kids (9 and twin 7 year olds) more than most parents I know and agree that the schools are too easy. But to send a note home about repeating something that was publicly said about food? I just don't see this as needing disciplinary action. He will/does things that are him being a little E36 M3 and I will admit that. I'm finding this public school to be hypersensitive unfortunately.

I feel your pain. My kids are similar age to yours (9 and twin 5 1/2 year olds).

I agree with you, that's why I put that little caveat about having a good reason to think the note was unjustified. I have see hypersensitivity in schools too...we live in such a pc/touchy feely world these days that everything could be offensive to someone. Again, I go back to the schools not wanting to deal with scumball parents filing a complaint/suit/etc... So anything that could even be the slightest bit "offensive" gets attention. They document it, so that they can't be accused of fostering such unacceptable behavior as jumping out and scaring another kid (I'm being sarcastic of course). But at the same time, for behavior that really is bad they don't do a whole lot about it... again out of fear of those parents. My son came home with a note that I was supposed to sign, and it was about something similar to what you're talking about. He allegedly said "Jesus Christ" in school, and the teacher had a melt down about it. I signed the note, but not in the way the teacher would have expected...

I don't want to sound like I'm bashing the schools, I'm not. I think the stuff they do is a byproduct of the environment they're forced into. It's a shame.

Grtechguy wrote: I'm finding this public school to be hypersensitive unfortunately.

I lean this way as well. Not like he was bullying etc, unless there's something that was left out.

That's not to say that a school has no place doing some discipline; I told my daughter way back when that if I got a note from school or was called in for a meeting over misbehavior then the consequences at home would be worse than school. It's stuck with her; she once had a disciplinary note but it was over her yelling back at a kid who was making cracks about her eczema. I didn't have the heart to jump on her about that.

so... discipline is a letter to the parents asking them to come and talk to the teacher? that isn't discipline in my world.

Sounds to me like the teacher is an unmarried childless ole bitty, and hates her life. I would tell her off for wasting your time and making a stink over nothing. This sounds like the teacher of the kid that calls the police for a terrorist threat because a kid talks about shooting another kid with a bubble blowing gun .

I have family that is in teaching and have heard stories of teachers not being able to spell the word "spoon" and other stupid stuff in evaluations. Don't assume the teacher is always worthy of their job.

Wife talked to the teacher today and one of the "reasons" he got wrote up was that he scared the girl. Really? When was the last time you surprised a spouse, co-worker or kid. Wife flat out asked the teacher if the kids were supposed to be drones and have no personality, opinions or voice. That got a stuttering spineless response.

Oh well....We refused to sign their sheet and have lowered expectations of the facility now.

Jere, she is single, childless and 30ish. We basically told her that it was a waste of time.

jere wrote: Don't assume the teacher is always worthy of their job.

Don't assume that the teacher isn't worthy of her job. Especially based on the report of a 7y.o.

Although, in this case, it sounds like the teacher isn't doing her job as well as she should. Were this about the kid doing things that, by themselves wouldn't be a problem, but put together are inciting other kids to get off task during a time when it is extra-hard to control a classroom... that I would totally understand. This sounds like suffering from garden variety frustration and burnout, and not being able to recognize it.

Beer Baron wrote:

jere wrote: Don't assume the teacher is always worthy of their job.

Don't assume that the teacher isn't worthy of her job. Especially based on the report of a 7y.o.

That's the sad thing, you can't be sure either way. I was in high school 10 years ago and I remember that most of my teachers were great. They were smart, eager to teach, willing to go the extra mile for their students, and I learned a ton from them. I even learned to like Shakespeare, and I don't care one bit for theater/literature. Then, maybe one teacher a year (between 7th grade and 10th or so) I had a teacher that flat out hated children. I assume they were sick of the fact that they weren't allowed to smack the attitude out of the bad kids and decided to take it out on everybody. All I learned from them was a hatred of going to school. They even made me hate it despite all of the great teachers.