HR doesn't like to see their own BS buzzwords in resumes

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/TECH/web/12/13/linkedin.resume.cliches/index.html?eref=rss_latest&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+rss%2Fcnn_latest+%28RSS%3A+Most+Recent%29

Heads up guys, this was new to me. I only have "extensive experience" to worry about, although it's for something I really do have extensive experience with.

I have edited the list to provide decent alternatives for GRM job-seekers:

1. Extensive berkeleying experience
2. One Innovative Motherberkeleyer
3. One Motivated Motherberkeleyer
4. Results-driven Son of a Bitch
5. Dyn-A-mite
6. Proven track record (lap times available)
7. Team berkeleyin' player
8. Hung like a horse
9. Extreme Prejudice Problem solver
10. "Steal your E36 M3" Entrepreneurial

H.R., one of the 3 worste types of people. Right next to pedos and animal abusers.

GPS's resume would get the nod at TomCo. Once I hit the lottery and start it, that is.

Hahaha That's hilarious, GPS.

See also, web-economy BS generator - http://www.dack.com/web/bullE36 M3.html

edit: foiled by the filter! You'll have to manually correct that URL.

neon4891 wrote: H.R., one of the 3 worste types of people. Right next to pedos and animal abusers.

Michael Scott will you please leave poor Toby alone...

neon4891 wrote: H.R., one of the 3 worste types of people. Right next to pedos and animal abusers.

you forgot westboro baptist church members, and and Jeep Liberty drivers who try to do the jeep wave.

Hrm... I always found marketing people to be much, much worse than HR people.

But all my jobs have had relatively decent HR staff, and horrible E36 M3-for-brains marketers.

As an engineer with good communication skills...I find it VERY hard to take the advice not to use "problem solver" and "good communication skills" in my rezoom.

On the other hand...pointing out particular instances kud werk whel.

Clem

some Twit said: "Poised for new challenges".

If it wasn't for HR, we'd have no hot babes where I work.

one of the companies we work with has a very strict dress code, especially for women. no open toed shoes, heels over a certain height, shoulder straps have to be X" wide, no boots over the knee, etc. their HR is constantly sending out reminders about how this or that isn't professional, but by far the worst violators are the girls in HR.

i'm just glad ours is outsourced, only the amount of BS that you request, none that you don't.

Lloyd Christmas wrote: If it wasn't for HR, we'd have no hot babes where I work.

Wierd. All our HR people are hot too.

I just for once want to walk in during and interview, and say quite plainly "Look. You are NEVER going to find a faster motherberkeleyer than me. I don't care WHAT the task is. If I've never done it before, I will be the fastest at it in less than a week. If I'm familiar with the task- you can expect results. I WILL increase productivity. I just need you to do two things. Leave me the berkeley alone, and let me do my job- and Leave me the berkeley alone and let me do my job".

In reply to Lloyd Christmas:

Otto, are you on some deep, existential personal journey to find the "real" you?

Cause changing user-names (so often) is passe and lame.............

In reply to oldsaw:

I had no urge to change my user-name until today. After I read the thread about it, I figured I might need to mix it up a little, get some of these names out of my system.

Human resources isn't.

mndsm wrote:

Lloyd Christmas wrote: If it wasn't for HR, we'd have no hot babes where I work.

Wierd. All our HR people are hot too.

That's because its a job that requires little to no brains. Any cute bimbo I met in college was either going into "K thru 5 education" or "Human Resources".

YMMV If you are cute AND smart AND in HR, then I will thoroughly apologize.

Be careful, HR people have king cobras for tongues... if you see them smile it's because you're about to get some fangs in your neck.

Appleseed wrote: Human resources isn't.

Shouldn't that read, "Human resources aren't"?

Do people actually study human resources in college? I figured they had English degrees or something.

neon4891 wrote: H.R., one of the 3 worste types of people. Right next to pedos and animal abusers.

You just have to remember one thing about HR:

They are NOT there to serve or protect you.

They are there to protect the company from YOU.

Lloyd Christmas wrote: If it wasn't for HR, we'd have no hot babes where I work.

wish it were so... our HR dept: 3 women, one, 50+ > 400+#'s ... takes 4 - 5 smoke breaks / day.... #2 250 #'s w/ zero personality ... #3 as good an example of a shiny happy person as you'll ever meet... + the same 4 - 5 smoke breaks / day... the head of the dept. ... he's new.. don't know anything about him, 'cept he's the 5th head of HR in the last 8 yrs.... kinda makes you wonder

aircooled wrote: You just have to remember one thing about HR: They are NOT there to serve or protect you. They are there to protect the company from YOU.

this times a quadrazillionbilliongazillion! its a shame really. Hes right, dont EVER expect them to be there to help you just because you need help.

ReverendDexter wrote:

Appleseed wrote: Human resources isn't.

Shouldn't that read, "Human resources aren't"?

I don't think so, not if it's being used as a singular noun. He's talking about human resources, the department; not human resources, the resources that are human.

good thing i don't use HR buzzwords in my resume, i never bought into that BS while in colleges