I need an opinion, GRM hive, on moving.

Long story, short, this place I reside in with the family is a dump, literally and figuratively. I keep waiting for the floors to fall in, plumbing to explode, or have a house fire. Wife does but doesn't want to move. When prodded, she just states, "the beach". Not going to happen, I'll compromise with being closer, but that is it. I have my MIL to watch out for and she "receptive" just because she knows this place can't last much longer. So, she is pretty much along for the ride. I really want to move closer to my pops, who isn't the best of health but still above ground and kicking along with his menagerie of car projects in the Great White North hinterlands. I also want to be out of the BFE black hole that is here and having to travel hours to get anywhere worth anything.

Thoughts, comments, concerns?

PS-I wanted to move back to Lexington, KY, but sadly was shot down before I could finish my sentence with some nonsense of "being low man on the totem pole again..." and "Where and how are "we" going to afford that?".

If you have convinced the MIL, you have convinced the wife, she just doesn't realize it yet.

Where exactly does your dad live?

Does he get along well with SWMBO and her mom?

a 30 mile commute costs about $5k per year. That may be about $7.5k in salary after taxes. This is not counting your time, or any other opportunity cost.

30 x 2 (there and back) = 60 x 5 (days per week) = 300 x 50 (50 weeks per year) = 15,000 x .33 (33 cents to drive 1 mile - debatable, but hard to be much lower) = $5,000

So moving closer to work can actually feel like a huge raise.

In reply to The_Jed:

Michigan. I hate snow and part of the reason for moving SOUTH!

In reply to rcutclif:

I am not moving closer to where I work. It places the wife farther away from hers and I'd then have to live in WV, I'll pass. Sorry, WV peeps. Besides, your math is off. 180 round trip, 3 days/wk with a 45mpg diesel Jetta. I put on 45k on it in one year.

Ranger50 wrote: ...I'd then have to live in WV, I'll pass. Sorry WV peeps.

With those damn Hatfields!!

Why dafuq does your MIL have a say in the matter? Is she paying your mortgage/rent?

Ranger50 wrote: Besides, your math is off. 180 round trip, 3 days/wk with a 45mpg diesel Jetta. I put on 45k on it in one year.

Dang. I thought my 150/day round trip was bad.

Then I read only 3 days/wk. That's tolerable I guess. I put up with mine 5 days/wk.

It sounds like you're giving a lot of creedence to other people who don't actually have as much vested interest as you. You don't like where you are. You're already driving almost an insufferable commute. The place you're living in is falling apart.

It's time to change.

In reply to RealMiniParker:

Wife hides behind her in an attempt to not having to make a decision. And this dump is free and clear, but requires a mortgage amount of money to repair.

In reply to xflowgolf:

But working 12's in a fast paced ER during the night time hours, I might get 5hrs sleep between shifts. 8's would be a luxury.

I agree it's time to change, but to where is the needed answer.

I guess I'd explore your last statement further.

You want to move to Lexington KY.

The two knee jerk reactions may be not real objections at all.

Why would you have to start low man on totem pole? You now have experience. People chase jobs/locations all the time for promotion. Your experience goes with you. Can you not job hunt there now? My mother in law just moved from Texas back to Michigan without a job lined up and quickly found work in her field and had 3 offers on the table at competitive pay (doing medical billing) within a month or two. You currently live in BFE and drive 180 miles/day... I would imagine you could find a similarly affordable place at less than 180 miles commute from Lexington, and likely find a job which pays the same or better.. .which negates the second part of that argument.

Don't throw out the answer you actually want to get to so quickly just because somebody doesn't actually want to "deal" with the inevitable moving.

For the most part, your dollar goes further in the middle of the country than it does on the edges. Cost of living is usually significantly lower than coastal areas, and engineering/manufacturing/transportation jobs are plentiful. Since you have a medical background, I'd imagine you can find work just about anywhere. What does the wife do for work?

Living on the outskirts/suburb of a small to medium sized city should give you plenty of options for work, while shortening your lengthy commute and having the added benefit of being closer to everyday stuff.

Ranger50 wrote: In reply to The_Jed: Michigan. I hate snow and part of the reason for moving SOUTH! In reply to rcutclif: I am not moving closer to where I work. It places the wife farther away from hers and I'd then have to live in WV, I'll pass. Sorry, WV peeps. Besides, your math is off. 180 round trip, 3 days/wk with a 45mpg diesel Jetta. I put on 45k on it in one year.

My wife and I just moved back to MI from NC after an 8 year stint there. Loved NC but the family etc we were missing in MI was enough to bring us back.

It really is the motor city :)

xflowgolf wrote: I would imagine you could find a similarly affordable place at less than 180 miles commute from Lexington, and likely find a job which pays the same or better.. .which negates the second part of that argument.

Yes I just quoted myself...

I wanted to explore this further. I assume with some experience at a hospital you could land a job somewhere again in a hospital, and all major cities will have hospital(s) to expand your job hunting experience.

Given you already drive 90 miles each way... I took a gander at what surrounds Lexington.

Driving from Lexington to Louisville from city center to center is under 80 miles. Driving Lexington to Cincinnati OH is roughly 80 miles.

So right there you have 3 major cities of medical systems to peruse all within what your current commute is.

Placing yourself anywhere in between those with some triangulation obviously cuts those commutes way down vs. living at any given one extreme.

In reply to xflowgolf:

No, it's her job where she would be low man. She is a surgical tech so a job is always available, but the job within the job (stuff like holding legs in one place for hip replacements for hours literally vs rapidly moving ENT cases and such) and those associated hours (call or no call and if there is call you have to be within a certain time requirement) are her argument. She has enough time in already where she works to basically be able to choose when she works.

In reply to Ranger50:

My wife is a surg tech and in her experience, the ones the doctors prefer to work with are the ones that get placed on certain cases. Since she's good at her job, she gets requested quite a bit while the others are the backups and "second choice" she also specifically moved from working at a hospital to a day surgery clinic to get away from taking calls.

Sounds like your wife needs to learn to stand up for herself, both at home and at work. Wall flowers do not survive very long in the Surgery field nor do they help much when trying to make decisions for the future of YOUR family and YOUR relationship. Parents should be a secondary concern for you two right now.

Have you guys thought about moving to the West Coast? There's a $4500 bonus available for open nursing positions in my wife's surgical center. I think they may also be looking for surg techs. The standard schedule is 4-10's but there are some that work part time. I think my wife is making around $26+/hr with benefits and if you find a place in Vancouver, where her clinic is, there's no state income tax, just a sales tax.

Come on to Lexington. It's nice, we have a ton of hospitals. Rents are cheap. According to various websites your dollar is worth more here than anywhere but Mississippi.

I have friends who commute from Cincinnati and Louisville as well as points east but I only have a 5 mile commute and highly reccomend it.

In reply to Stefan (Not Bruce):

I won't do left coast. MIL is included because she can not afford to live alone just because she doesn't draw crap from SS.

In reply to KyAllroad:

I've already lived there once. Rent is not cheap. Depending on where work is from home location, traffic sucks. But overall, Lexington is a nice place to be.

That commute has to be slowly killing you. Sleep is important. Move already!

It's hard to find a place that has good pay/cheap living/near family etc. If it were easy everyone would already be there. Decide what's the most important, suck it up on the rest.
I live in Texas. I don't particularly like Texas but my wife has a spectacular career that makes life very easy so I deal with crappy geography. Only you can figure out what compromises are the best ones.
And there's still lots of work, fairly cheap housing and a vibrant motorsports scene in Texas. Just sayin'.