I need to learn to do comedy. Ima be RICH with this material.

I have an almost 4 year old boy. He's VERY interested in his....hootus right now. The things this child perpetuates as a result of his fascination... well I'd win some sort of award. You can't make this crap up. Among others we have favorites such as

Target. He was in his footie jammies and we ran to target. He's got long hair, and well, likes Minnie Mouse. SO- he gets mistaken for a girl on a regular basis. THIS time however- he spotted the full length mirror. We were just out of diapers and so the whole free roaming thing was a rather fresh concept to him. He spotted the mirror. ZZZZIIPPP! Next thing I hear is "did she just say..." "Yes, he just said hey look at my penis.". Lovely.

Then there's the conversation I had the other day. I was on the phone with a close friend and she is privy to-

"PUT YOUR PENIS AWAY AND COME INSIDE. NO, NO WE DO NOT PEE OFF THE BALCONY!" We're on third floor. I can't say I blame hime, TBH. I've done it in a drunken stupor before. Later this turned into a massive meltdown, because I wouldn't let him pee off the balcony, and therefore, he could not go to the bathroom.

Then there's what happened this evening. He's lying in bed with us, and we're watching Tornado Chasers. It's a show we can all agree on. Naturally, his hands wander south. Mommy and I try and take the high road and say "Look, it's fine if you want to play with it, just do it in your room, or the bathroom. You don't do that when you're laying next to Daddy." Nope. I got a "LOOK! LOOK! I CAN CLOSE IT!" I'll spare you the visual, you can probably figure out what's happening here. Then for some reason, he starts picking at it! Ok, WTF. Mommy figures it out. "No buddy, you can't peel the skin off it. It's not like Daddy's arms. No, the skin isn't going to peel off. Please stop". He seems to think my arms being sunburnt and peeling from work chemicals is a good analong for said penis, and he's intent on peeling it like daddy's arms. My wife is doubled over laughing her self to death, and I'm just sitting here mortified.

Ain't being a parent wonderful?

This was funny and somewhat embarrasing to read at the same time.

I love reading about your life. Your end of the day threads make me happy before bed.

That's why girls are fascinated with them. They broke theirs off.

I just spent five days with the grandsons. Thank goodness we don't have these problems.

Damn dude, worst I remember doing with mine at that age was pissing on a sidewalk in front of a gas station on a high traffic street. I told mom I had to go, she said "ok" so I whipped it out then and there.

Oh he's done that before too. Only he prefers to be a fountain. Sometimes he spins. I try to stay faaaar away.

my 4 year old drops his pants and pees wherever he wants when he is outside. i had to explain parking lots are a last resort and try not to do it facing the street when at home. good times. "i'm watering the tree/grass/driveway/etc"

This thread totally reinforces my not wanting to have kids, BTW.

In reply to Knurled:

Nah, it's all good stuff. Good stories to mortify them with in their teenage years.

The comedian Jo Koy did a about ten minutes in one of his stand-up specials about his 3 or 4 year old son playing with hootus continually.

It sounds like you could relate.

Type Q wrote: The comedian Jo Koy did a about ten minutes in one of his stand-up specials about his 3 or 4 year old son playing with hootus continually. It sounds like you could relate.

That's all I could think of too while reading this. "My ting ting!"

For your boys problem may I suggest this:

In reply to Wally:

That's berkeleyed up. I hope it's a joke. Not a real product.

Great story. Thankfully mine have outgrown that phase.

Once upon a time my son was about 3 we stopped for lunch in West Virginia and while I'm ordering the woman keeps looking down at the boy. Finally she says "ummmm, he's naked."

Apparently he chose that moment to completely disrobe. Kids.

mndsm wrote: Oh he's done that before too. Only he prefers to be a fountain. Sometimes he spins. I try to stay faaaar away.

LMAO XD

It's funny from an outsider's perspective at a safe distance

We were at the beach, and my son had to go.

He did all the cross-your-legs, and stage whisper-to-mom stuff.

She told him to just pee in the water, it was no big deal.

Next thing I knew, he was standing at the edge of the surf with his pants at his ankles trying to increase the water level of the Gulf of Mexico, with thousands of people watching.

I'm not sure the people in the water in front of him were very appreciative, but it was, of course, entirely his Mom's fault.

In reply to Wally:

How well is it working for you?

Chafes a bit