I'm getting married Saturday (aka Make It Stop)

Well the title says it all. I'm getting married Saturday, but my fiancee has apparently been watching those 'crazy bride' shows and thinks freaking out at her fiancee for no reason (although I'm sure she has one) is acceptable behavior.

A typical conversation between us in the past two weeks:

Me: What can I help you with? Her: Nothing. Her (five minutes later): I'm so busy and you're not helping.

Seriously, it needs to be 10:30 pm Saturday night right now.

Also, don't ever GRM a wedding. Either spend the coin and hire someone to coordinate everything and make everything go smoothly, or elope. It is NOT worth it to do a DIY, shoestring-budget wedding.

Continue to play video games, drink soda, and be yourself. Also, unplug the television so we can stop watching bitchzillas or whatever that show is called. Yes she will stay stressed about the wedding and stuff, but the less bad behavior she sees, the less she'll likely to emulate.

My wedding was cheap. My wife occasionally mentions that she wishes we could have had more, but I still think she was happy with a wedding ceremony, unlike rushing off to the courthouse like she wanted to at first.

back in 1987 a lot of people went bands or DJ's. My mom had a friend that threw us a bargain rate DJ service.

his equipment crapped out the last hour and nobody could dance as he never figured out what burned up. the wife was pissed that we saved money but most guests enjoyed getting another drink and spending time talking and actually hearing each other and not yelling any more.....My wife reminds me about my Bohemian mother........

I GRM'ed a wedding. Got in and out with 300 guests for under a grand including the dress. Still married.

This advice may be to late for you but someone else could benefit from it.
When asked your opinion on something even a small item like what color the napkins should be, always have an answer. Never let that answer be, "which ever you like."
Your answer is required but do not expect that your answer/opinion will be used.

Also, do not let her get too caught up in what I call, "the big Saturday." That is all it is - one day. The important part is every day there after.

Congratulations on the upcoming nuptials. 17 years for me on Friday, and my wife who is generally very level headed was ready to kill her 4 older sisters at this point 17 years ago. The pre-wedding freakout it totally normal, just roll with it. Your job is to show up on time, clean, properly dressed and with the rings, and say "I do" at the appropriate time. After that, mind your manners at the reception, don't get wrecked there, and plan on being so exhausted you'll wait until Sunday morning to consummate the marriage

there will be a point on Saturday night when you start thinking..."hey, we're going on a cool vacation starting TOMORROW".

(Assuming you are going on a honeymoon)

I don't remember which comedian did it, but I remember a routine where he talked about women and weddings, and them being the center of attention, having the ability to make her friends wear ugly dresses while she gets the best gown....His suggestion for helping to understand was to picture yourself in front of all your friends with the hottest stripper in the world wrapping herself around you all day.

This is the biggest day of her entire life, she thinks, and had been told thousands of times by all the other women in her life. Roll with it and it will be over soon. After Saturday you just have to put up with the regular day to day crazy all men have to suffer with every day for the rest of their lives until they are dead.

Janel made the conscious decision not to be the crazy bride. Her bouquet was not supposed to have roses or hearts on it, and of course it showed up made of roses with hearts all over the place. She decided that getting upset wouldn't make things better, so she just went with it and we all had a great day. There's a reason I chose that one.

We GRM'd our wedding. Got married in the backyard, dinner was a brisket from my father-in-law's cows smoked on the porch (best smelling wedding ever!), everyone had a great time just hanging out with friends. No performance anxiety, no big complicated plans to go wrong. Nobody was invited that we didn't want to invite. And we still have the "wedding tree" in the yard. Sounds a bit redneck, but you have to remember what a back yard in Colorado looks like My sister-in-law went the exact opposite direction with a massive, three-location event. She enjoyed the day a whole lot less because of the stress.

The one thing we spent real money on was the photos. We had a pro take the shots, and they're a fantastic memento. The sister-in-law got an amateur friend to do it and she got very amateur photos as a result.

This happened to me 15yrs ago... I went karting and showed up in the nick of time. You should be 15yrs late. Trust me.

My cousin had her wedding reception at the county fair grounds (normal place to have it where she is from). There was a demo derby going on across the parking lot

My son is getting married in October, he's all set for a BBQ, a few friends and a few beers. OTOH, she's been planning this since she was 5 years old. It's at a vinyard on long Island.

Oy.

We were funny when we were going through the wedding plans. I was the one who crashed. I don't know why, but the stress was definately getting to me. I think she asked me about some food dish and I burst into tears. Most embarassing for me! She just looked at me like she'd never seen me before. Patted me on the shoulder and told me not to worry about it, she'd take care of it. I felt much better after that.

Didn't read the rest of the thread, but OP, that is precisely why we got married in Vegas and told the family "If you want to see it, buy a plane ticket," then once it cooled down, we threw a big BBQ/Kegger at her parents house as our reception.

mtn wrote: My cousin had her wedding reception at the county fair grounds (normal place to have it where she is from). There was a demo derby going on across the parking lot And she's the best wife I ever had.

FTFY!

TwinCam,

It's all normal. My wife and I did the traditional wedding thing. She started really stressing about 6 weeks out from our wedding day. For a woman, it's probably the biggest day of their lives to date, and they feel a lot of pressure. Our wedding was supposed to be outdoors. But 3 or 4 days out, they changed the forcast to rain. Several phone calls later, we still got married in the same location, but under a huge "tent" (think fancy white things on the side of it chandeliers hanging from the inside, etc...). It poured during our ceremony, and of course it stopped as soon as it was over. But that's just the way it goes. Been married almost 12 years now.

Besides, if you think she's freaking now, just wait until after your wedding and normal married life begins...

My wife is a meeting and event planner by trade, so to say everything was organized for our wedding would be an understatement. She spent a year planning and arranging and then 4 months out some personal financial disaster hit and killed our wedding budget. She completely freaked, I couldn't even blame her, she planned so well.

Anyway, in one of the few useful things I've ever done I managed to arrange the rental of a riverboat, with catering, that cruised the NJ shore, right past the lighthouse we went to on our first date, all well under our "new" budget.

It was not what she had planned or even wanted at first but in the end it was (according to guests) one of the most memorable weddings they had ever been to and it was a really great time.

I guess my point is, no matter how much planning, stressing and obsessing you do there are many things which are going to deviate from the plan. Just go with it, its the things that don't always go right that you remember the most and laugh about later.

And CONGRATS!!

Just calm down. GRM'ing a wedding isn't too bad. You wind up saving thousands in the process.

z31maniac wrote: Didn't read the rest of the thread, but OP, that is precisely why we got married in Vegas and told the family "If you want to see it, buy a plane ticket," then once it cooled down, we threw a big BBQ/Kegger at her parents house as our reception.

^This . . .

We jumped the broom in Key West . . . We gotta a good vacation, wedding, honeymoon, shopping getaway all for ~5K.

Fam showed up for the Wedding and threw a party once we got back home for those who couldn't make it.

No stress at all

I knew when I got married it was gonna cost a bunch, but it was worth it to never have to hear my wife complain that she didn't get an awesome wedding. We did save money doing some GRM-esque budget stuff, but it's just like cars... whether it's a Viper or an XR4TI, it costs serious money to make it truly awesome.

Its pretty normal. Mine was more stress than I can remember, but it all works out in the end. My wife even cut off the booty for 3 months before the wedding. No fun + high stress = fml.

I should say that she only yelled once, and I, as a rule, don't yell back, because it's incredibly unproductive, and that's how her whole family communicates (they're all divorced...yet find they need to give us relationship advice), and I know it'll just make things worse.

She is wound really damned tight, though. We dropped a whole bunch of stuff off at the reception place, and the woman there in charge of everything was looking pretty incredulous that one person (my fiancee) could be this intense about anything.

Whatever, it'll be over Saturday night, and then on Sunday we drive to Montreal, Quebec City, and some podunk town with a bitchin' hotel in northeast Quebec for 2 weeks. That's right, drive. I'ma drive my car in a foreign country!

Ok, it's only Canada. But they speak a different language, I'm counting it.

In reply to Twin_Cam:

"I'm getting married Saturday (aka Make It Stop) "

What? Why would you even think of doing such a thing? Don't you learn from others mistakes? And she's already acting like you are married, (ie - What can I help you with? Her: Nothing. Her (five minutes later): I'm so busy and you're not helping. ). Most guys don't have the luxury of learning that before they commit. I'm probably not helping, am I?

I went thru all this back in march. By Friday night I was catatonic. Just stay focused on the wedding night and you will make it. And remember to breath while standing up there waiting.

Good luck and best wishes.

z31maniac wrote: Didn't read the rest of the thread, but OP, that is precisely why we got married in Vegas and told the family "If you want to see it, buy a plane ticket," then once it cooled down, we threw a big BBQ/Kegger at her parents house as our reception.

I make this offer to any of my friends who get engaged: if it all gets to be too much, give me 12 hours notice. I'll pick you up at the Vegas airport in the 1966 Caddy and take you to the chapel to get married by Elvis.

They never seem to appreciate it at the time, but I know it's been seriously considered later on.