I'm not one to brag...but.

Mater: You know, I used to be a pretty good whistler! (...) Boy, you should've heard me on Giddy-Up, Oom Papa Mow Mow! Now, I'm not one to brag, but people come pretty far to see me get low on the "Mow-Mow"!

As a child of about five years old, I was very proud to announce to my neighbors.  You got termites?  We do.

You get the idea, start the bragging.  Top bragging rights will be awarded internet poster of the day and 100 points.

I graduated from high school with a 1.8 GPA. Try and match that!

I had a 98% test average in history, the highest in all of my history teacher's classes, and I was told, third highest SAT in the county. 

I would only show up on test day, they tried to fail me for attendance. 
 

Made dean's list and graduated with honors from college, and a went on to get a veterinary degree. Not as big a deal, lots of people have done those things.
 

i'm currently 4 and 0 versus the entire motorsports world at competing in the GRM $2000 Challenge in a Corvair.

I have never broken a bone, and outside of wisdom teeth, have never had surgery

In reply to AngryCorvair (Forum Supporter) :

Well I am completely undefeated in the $2000 Challenge 

Speaking of the challenge, I got an award for longest drive on my first time competing. Lost it on the long drive home. 

I've never bragged. Ever. 

Beat that!

I was awarded Best Margarita in Austin two years in a row.  I was a crappy bartender, but I make a mean 'rita.

Floating Doc (Forum Supporter) said:

I graduated from high school with a 1.8 GPA. Try and match that!

I had a 98% test average in history, the highest in all of my history teacher's classes, and I was told, third highest SAT in the county. 

I would only show up on test day, they tried to fail me for attendance. 
 

Made dean's list and graduated with honors from college, and a went on to get a veterinary degree. Not as big a deal, lots of people have done those things.
 

 

I can't beat it, so I'll join you.  High School, 1.8 GPA.  PSAT score got me in the National Merit Scholarship semifinal pool.  I however stuck to my same skillset in college, so graduated with a four year degree in 7 years with a 2.0.  (They would not confer a degree if you had less than 2.0). Then, Bachelors in hand, I went back and failed to finish my Associates degree.....

In the 6th grade my "Fire Prevention Week Poster" won 3rd place all City in Rockford, Illinois.  That was 1981.

It's all been pretty much down hill since then.......

I was politely kicked out of high school. Mr. Peabody, we're giving you the option of quitting, which would enable you to come back some day if you so desire. If you choose not to, we're going to kick your ass out of here so hard you'll never be able to find the place again. I (barely) have a grade 9 education, and lied in order to be accepted into a millwright apprenticeship in my twenties.

At the end of the three years of schooling I was given an award for outstanding achievement from the Ministry of skills development for having the highest marks in the province, 98.6%

I was awarded "Most Absent Athlete" at Camp Applejack so many years ago I don't remember when. I've continued that excellence...

I still wear the same size pants that I wore in High School, and they are at worn at my waist.

For about a decade, I held the record for highest loss on a single vehicle at my Fortune 500 company. Multiple VPs knew my name because of this, which I strongly recommend against 

I woke up this morning 

I spelled "liaison" correctly once, on accident. 

I sold Rick Mears about $1000 in Märklin trains, and a couple hundred dollars in die-cast cars to Arie Luyendyk.

In only 3.5 different attempts at higher education and an accumulation of a mere 250 credit hours I earned my Associates degree.  And while the exact number eludes me, I believe my high school GPA was something super impressive, like 1.58 or similar.

I write for a living and my lowest score on the 4 ACT sections was English, but I scored a 35 out 36 on Reading (from what I understand essentially logic). 

I think I still only scored a 27 overall. Good friend of mine I played in a band with in high school scored a 34 out of 36 overall. 

Every shower I've ever taken has happened after the breakup of  Pangaea. 

 

Brett_Murphy (Agent of Chaos) said:

Every shower I've ever taken has happened after the breakup of  Pangaea. 

 

You only took baths before then? 

I've had the fastest Kia to ever complete OneLap twice now. EVER. 

I was awarded Machinist of the Year at my vocational high school in 1980. 

Still have and use a lot of the tools I was awarded. 
 

I am currently 2-0 vs. People attempting to murder me. 

In 1989 Gretchen Carlson was in love with me but I was married and had to leave her standing alone.