Interesting facts about the human body.

Over the years I've heard some facts about the human body, and it's symmetry more specifically, that I've always found interesting. For instance the length of your pinky finger is the same distance from the tip of your nose to the base of your forehead. The distance from your wrist to your elbow is the same size as your foot. The distance between your outstretched middle fingers is how tall you are, big feet mean, uh, NOTHING (I tell the ladies that).
But I discovered one of my own, and it's cruel (potty humor coming up, feel free to tune out now). If you fart as you are dropping your pants in preparation for dropping a deuce and sit down to take care of business, your face will be directly in the cloud of pollutants you just released when you sit down. It's like the good lord is giving YOU the dutch-oven treatment now! Naturally, since you are in mid loaf-pinch you have no choice but to deal with it.

Truly a clear case of, "He who smelt it, dealt it"

I am Luke, destroyer of worlds. My method of destruction is the Dutch Oven.

Ask any of my exes.

DrBoost wrote: Over the years I've heard some facts about the human body, and it's symmetry more specifically, that I've always found interesting. For instance the length of your pinky finger is the same distance from the tip of your nose to the base of your forehead. The distance from your wrist to your elbow is the same size as your foot. The distance between your outstretched middle fingers is how tall you are, big feet mean, uh, NOTHING (I tell the ladies that). But I discovered one of my own, and it's cruel (potty humor coming up, feel free to tune out now). If you fart as you are dropping your pants in preparation for dropping a deuce and sit down to take care of business, your face will be directly in the cloud of pollutants you just released. It's like the good lord is giving YOU the dutch-oven treatment now! Naturally, since you are in mid loaf-pinch you have no choice but to deal with it.

I just pooped my pants a little from laughing! LOL

I assume this is first hand knowledge?

Well if it isn't...um...eeeewwww gross!!!!!

Not quite on topic, but I was watching one of those local morning news shows this morning and apparently our local kid's museum has a "display" called "Toot Toot". It's a display that explains what happens when you toot and includes a "thingee" (just not sure what to call it) that simulates the sound of a fart. The newsperson (a woman) was asked on air by the male museum employee if she knew where the sound in humans came from. He then proceeded to fill her in, ON AIR, about the sound make by a human's flapping skin surrounding their anus.

this has quickly turned into the phart thread

let 'er rip

This started off as a phart thread

Reminds me of the ancient proverb:
He who farts in church sits in his own pew.

Big hands mean big...

...gloves.

...gloves?

EDIT - doh, not fast enough!

fastEddie wrote: ...gloves? EDIT - doh, not fast enough!

Haha, this is the first time I ever beat someone to it. I'm usually the guy posting the same comment seconds later....thanks for boosting my ego.
BTW, I could never talk about things like this with my wife. She thinks I'm sick enough already.

As it turns out, my foot is as long as my forearm.

And I may have hurt myself testing that, but at least I didn't fart.

Try this one: the arm span, from tip of middle finger to middle finger, is about +/- 1 inch of your height. Go up to a doorjamb and place one arm, finger down, to the floor. Now stretch the other up along the jamb as high as you can. Hold that height. Step to the jamb and mark your height with the other hand. Close, right?

I've got an extra 2 inches per hand/arm. 4 total.

Yes.

I'm built with God's left over parts.

DrBoost wrote: The distance from your wrist to your elbow is the same size as your foot.

One of those odd things.. due to medical reasons, I stopped growing when I was a freshman in HS (I almost died due to my crohnes) my feet are two inches shorter than the length from wrist to elbow

I am also short through the torso.. but still hit 5'11" I should have been about 6'3" to judge by the other people in my family

Appleseed wrote: I've got an extra 2 inches per hand/arm. 4 total. Yes. I'm built with God's left over parts.

No, you've just got more monkey DNA, just like me.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ape_index

Shawn

Its quantifiable? That's hilarious.

your spleen removes our old, inflexible red blood cells frome the blood stream

If you sneeze while reaching around to wipe, you'll throw your back out really, really bad.

Shawn

Another tale from personal experience???

If your hand is larger than your face you have cancer.

... Now for me to figure out the second part.

Trans_Maro wrote:

Appleseed wrote: I've got an extra 2 inches per hand/arm. 4 total. Yes. I'm built with God's left over parts.

No, you've just got more monkey DNA, just like me. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ape_index Shawn

I need to double check... but i'm pretty sure i'm in the 4-5" over category.

This means.... i fling poo?

FACT:

The morning after some good draft beer, you WILL fart in the shower, thinking at that moment:

that felt wonderful

You will smile for approximately 7 seconds, satisfied with your comfort. Upon second 8, you will immediately realize the mistake you just made...now youre forced to marinate in a humid, 3'x6' prison cell of olfactory horrors you created yourself. The air does not circulate, the moist air seems to stick to your face....and then you realize:

This EXACT scenario played out Saturday morning 2 weeks ago, Im an idiot for not remembering

Congratulations idiot, your memory sucks...