Is it rude....

to invite yourself to stay at someones house for the weekend with less than a days notice?

So the inlaws were here in mid-october on their way to the east coast to visit the grandkids. They mentioned they would stop back by for a night on the way back and they would give us a call when they thought they would be here. Well, they did. LAst night. They are now going to be here this afternoon and guess what? they're going to stay the whole weekend!

Good thing I wasn't making any plans this weekend. /sarcasm

They're family, so it's not 100% rude.

My parents invited themselves to my house two weeks after my fourth child was born (our house is 1800 sq ft). That's not too bad, because they gave us some notice.

But, they called the day before "Good news! your sister and her boyfriend can come and spend a few nights too!"

I was pretty polite, but they were so offended that my sister still hasn't been back to my house (three years later) and my Mom still hasn't forgiven me.

Brian wrote: They're family, so it's not 100% rude.

I call BS on this. It's still 100% rude, unless it's an emergency.

In reply to tuna55:

I'm on your side 100%. Nobody invites somebody to our house except us, even if they are family. My wife's father and sister used to do this to us - they would discuss privately between them when they were coming to visit, and then one or the other of them would inform us. It pissed my wife off quite a bit.

I'll be polite, but I will definitely let them know that I had other plans for this weekend and a little heads up should be considered a requirement for invading someones's house.

I'm a little pissed right now.

Why change your plans for them? Screw them and follow through with your plans and just tell them that if they had let you know earlier that they were coming you'd have changed your plans.

You're all adults, berkeleying act like it.

I should have added a sarcasm note.

Stefan (Not Bruce) wrote: Why change your plans for them? Screw them and follow through with your plans and just tell them that if they had let you know earlier that they were coming you'd have changed your plans. You're all adults, berkeleying act like it.

Wife. Happy wife = happy life. she's not happy about the short notice, but she does want to spend time with her dad. Unfortunately her mom will be there too.

It sounds like they live far away and you don't spend much time with them. They are your wife's parents. Welcome them with open arms. If you had important plans keep them, the in-laws are there more for their daughter and grandkids, leaving for a few hours won't hurt anything. Just my .02

One daughter lives a 5 hour drive away. I visit twice a year. I call ahead and I stay at a motel.

Invading some ones home is inconsiderate. especially the overnight part.

gearheadmb wrote: It sounds like they live far away and you don't spend much time with them. They are your wife's parents. Welcome them with open arms. If you had important plans keep them, the in-laws are there more for their daughter and grandkids, leaving for a few hours won't hurt anything. Just my .02

My plans had involved bringing a few friends over and building a berm in the back yard to catch lead. Already cancelled.

Her family always considers it normal to stay at other families houses. The idea of a motel is odd to them. No to me.

Soon, I won't have in laws anymore!

In reply to Bobzilla:

Gun play might wierd them out enough to get them to call ahead next time.

"we are hosting our swingers party then but you're welcome to stay"

Appleseed wrote: In reply to Bobzilla: Gun play might wierd them out enough to get them to call ahead next time.

Tried that. Hell, I was OC'ing my full size 1911 to Brown County with nothing but light ovbershirt. Didn't affect them.

Bobzilla wrote:

Appleseed wrote: In reply to Bobzilla: Gun play might wierd them out enough to get them to call ahead next time.

Tried that. Hell, I was OC'ing my full size 1911 to Brown County with nothing but light ovbershirt. Didn't affect them.

Building a berm and having all your friends over to try it out is a whole nother level....

Surprise them by taking the wife on a romantic weekend.

Leave now!

914Driver wrote: Surprise them by taking the wife on a romantic weekend. Leave now!

This.

My Wife's Aunt just did this too. Less than a weeks notice this time. Last time was a 24 hours. This NEVER happened in my family so I have made it known that I have very little tolerance for this sort of thing. IE, if she lets them stay and I have plans, she is on her own.

Side note, there is this extremely rude couple that goes to wife's dad's church that invites themselves to stay with friend's families that the DON'T EVEN KNOW. These are my least favorite people in the world and I would love nothing else to never see them again.

In reply to 914Driver:

I think that you could get a gofundme up and have $100 for a cheap BnB just from the people in this thread. I would donate!

914Driver wrote: Surprise them by taking the wife on a romantic weekend. Leave now!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I have to ask what Mrs. Zilla thinks. Does she roll her eyes and roll with the punches or is she pissy and won't speak up?

You could be looking at the bottom of a tall hill.

Unannounced visits by SWMBO's parents would be met with considerable annoyance on SWMBO's part since her mom drives her nuts. Mine would never do anything remotely like that- the last time they came in as a surprise (to her, to attend her company's first show) they stayed in a hotel and she didn't know they were there until she saw them in the audience. But both generally give us plenty of notice since it requires either a day's flight (for my parents) or a 10-hour drive (for her parents) to get to us.

We've had a former best friend of SWMBO pull this a few times though- the first time she called with like a day's notice and barely without saying hello was asking to stay over the weekend when she visited friends- we did have plans and SWMBO told her we couldn't do it. The next time she was more tactful about asking and since we weren't otherwise busy agreed- only to have her call up at the last minute to say that her boyfriend's best friend was also coming and that he'd need to be staying over too which we weren't too cool with (both for the lack of notice and, once he go there, that he was a grade-A bro-tastic asshat).

100% rude, whether they are staying with you or not. The expectation that you will spend time hanging out with them and cancel your other plans is ridiculous.

I guess I am lucky. My in-laws give us at least a few weeks notice before visiting. They live on the other side of the Pacific. So getting our place is not as simple as stopping by for a couple of days while on a car trip.