Is my GF's Dad being a Sh--head?

My girlfriend's 97 Taurus was a gift from grampa. Grampa is a pastor, so the car is a creampuff, literally only driven to church on Sundays. It has 80K or so on the odo right now.

Recently, it needed some professional care. Long story short, it got a new sensor and some maintenance, and she dropped $800. It was the first trouble the car's had.

Ever since then, her Dad has been hellbent on talking her into a new car. He drug her to the Ford dealer thinking he could get her a great deal, and that didn't happen. Still, he keeps riding her about it.

Meanwhile, I'm telling her that she'd have to pay other people at least 10K in repairs and maintenance before she'd equal the cost of a new car.

Her job is decent, but not that great, and she's always worried about losing it. She won't lose it, she's had it for years, and they just starting doing overtime, but it's a neurotic little complex she has. Either way, a new car loan is not gonna help her sleep at night.

Still, Dad keeps hounding her, and I feel like I'm stepping on his toes. But his advice seems kinda, well, insane. Her parents are very good with thier money, in fact her Dad just bought a brand new truck with cash that he apparently saved up. Her mom's the "trade it for a new one every two years" type of car owner.

Her folks are NOT flakey, and they're pretty tight with a buck. Me, I'm always broke and I haven't balanced my checkbook in ages. But even to a grasshopper like me, a new car seems like a bad idea for her right now. Last night she told me her Dad was trying to use the Clunker Law to talk her into a new car. The man won't rest about it. She's happy with her car, and just wants him to stop harassing her about it, but she knows squat about cars and realllly loves security, so he's got her worried now.

Is he seeing something I'm not, or has he lost his friggin marbles?

Tell him if he wants her to have new car, he can buy it for her. :)

Car loans suck, are one of the worst ways to get bent over, and increase insurance costs more than what she's paying now.

If you want to buy some time have say she's saving for more important things like a house down payment or continuing college.

My .02....

Yeah, it sounds like the parents have no idea about the concept of maintenance with vehicles...which you can show her and see if she'll take to it.

My bit of advice, ask her what she wants to do and suggest that it's cheaper to stick with the car she currently has and continue maintenance on the Taurus.

Then, don't get too upset when she discounts your advice entirely and gets another car.

Just don't rub it in when the new car also requires maintenance!

Are there any new cars with a larger back seat than the Taurus? Suggest those. Possibly also suggest a full-time van. Ask that a heart shaped window be installed in the back, "along with shag carpeting" and then wink at 'dad'.

I'm not helpful this morning.

If she put just HALF the money she'd waste on a new car payment in a savings account to cover maintenance and repairs on the mighty Taurus, imagine how far ahead she'd be in four or five years when the thing really is in need of replacement? She could probably pay cash for a not-very-used car. That's the approach I would use.

New cars are the worst expense evah. Nothing like the second most expensive purchase you can make depreciating 40%+ the first 3 years you own it.

Per Schroeder wrote: Possibly also suggest a full-time van. Ask that a heart shaped window be installed in the back, "along with shag carpeting" and then wink at 'dad'.

+1 on this comedy gem......

Most folks live in mortal terror of car repairs and breakdowns. They perceive a car with 100k miles on it as a dangerous unreliable death trap. So, they buy a new car and feel better because a new car is safer and more reliable.

Recognize that her folks are this way and accept it.

ddavidv wrote: If she put just HALF the money she'd waste on a new car payment in a savings account to cover maintenance and repairs on the mighty Taurus, imagine how far ahead she'd be in four or five years when the thing really is in need of replacement? She could probably pay cash for a not-very-used car. That's the approach I would use. New cars are the worst expense evah. Nothing like the second most expensive purchase you can make depreciating 40%+ the first 3 years you own it.

+60 (months of payments).

It's one thing to need a new car, it's another to have someone else convince you to need one when what you have is perfectly good for what you need, and appears to be maintained well.

Seems kinda crazy to be talking about the risk of $800 repair bills to walk into $400 car payments MONTHLY.

While my paycheck would be aided by such family ( ), I'd tell her to keep what she has running, and be satisfied.

E-

Is she over 18? Goad her into telling dad to stuff himself. If he wants her to have a new car that she doesn't want to pay for, he can buy it. End of story.

So she is somewhat "nervous" or paranoid about life right? Or at least about some aspects of her life, like job security.

Perhaps this is a learned trait she picked up from her parents.

I would be willing to bet Dad is paranoid about his baby girl getting stranded in the middle of nowhere surrounded by axe murders more than he is concerned about the wise financial choice of a new car.

For non-car people who have been stuck waiting for a tow in the past this is an easily justified fear. It can be scary getting stuck somewhere and leave you with the feeling of being completely helpless.

When you talk to the old man about it, I would tread lightly as all he probably hears is "its not worth this $$ to keep your daughter safe."

If you feel the car really is that reliable, push that.

Although you are correct about a new car not being a wise investment, remember, they are financially successful and you (by your own admission) are not. If the roles were reversed would you want to take financial advice from you?

We fear the things we do not understand. Her dad does not sound very mechanical in nature. You are, but he may think you won't be around for the long haul. I can understand his point even though I don't agree with it.

I would offer your opinion and then stay out of the father/daughter thing. Don't get emotionally invested in her decision.

I see in your profile that you are 34 years old? Unless she is under 18, she should start making her own decisions. IMO.

He's just being protective of his daughter. At the first sign of trouble he's going to try to influence her to the side of caution out of concern for her safety rather than her wallet.

As long as the car is safe, and reliable, and until she starts sinking $300-$400 a month into the thing to keep it that way, she should keep driving it.

Sounds like dad is interested in some level of control over his baby, whether financial (i.e. "don't worry honey, I'll help you with the down-payment...then hold it over your head for the rest of your life") or just posturing on the new big dog.

Your GF, not you, needs to step up and say "I can't afford a new car. Drop it." He can't "drag" her out shopping for a new vehicle.

If she refuses to step up, then just let it go. Starting a war with the maybe-some-day-to-be in-laws is never a good idea.

$.02

poopshovel wrote: Sounds like dad is interested in some level of control over his baby, whether financial (i.e. "don't worry honey, I'll help you with the down-payment...then hold it over your head for the rest of your life") or just posturing on the new big dog. Your GF, not you, needs to step up and say "I can't afford a new car. Drop it." He can't "drag" her out shopping for a new vehicle. If she refuses to step up, then just let it go. Starting a war with the maybe-some-day-to-be in-laws is never a good idea. $.02

Wisdom.

You aren't married, so outside of advise when asked, it ain't your concern.

Husband > Dad > Boyfriend

Posting pictures of the girlfriend may be very helpful.
Maybe something near the beach?

DILYSI Dave wrote:

poopshovel wrote: Sounds like dad is interested in some level of control over his baby, whether financial (i.e. "don't worry honey, I'll help you with the down-payment...then hold it over your head for the rest of your life") or just posturing on the new big dog. Your GF, not you, needs to step up and say "I can't afford a new car. Drop it." He can't "drag" her out shopping for a new vehicle. If she refuses to step up, then just let it go. Starting a war with the maybe-some-day-to-be in-laws is never a good idea. $.02

Wisdom. You aren't married, so outside of advise when asked, it ain't your concern. Husband > Dad > Boyfriend

Not only that, but if she's near your age, still living at home, and letting her dad pester her about a car, (and it bothering you that much) you have bigger problems.

A coworker of mine is a middle aged single woman who has never bought a used car. In the few months before the lease on her Jetta was up, we talked numerous times about her car options, financing, depreciation - the whole nine yards. She really wanted a cute-ute and after test driving some she decided to shop around and spend about $15K on an off-lease Honda CRV, something with low-ish mileage and a warranty.

Her lease runs out and I don't hear any thing about her car for weeks until another coworker mentions her new Jetta in conversation. She had been embarrassed to tell me that when the time came to turn in her leased Jetta, she chickened out about going used and let the dealership sell her a new one. She didn't even really like the Jetta she had before, and so she spent $10 more than her anticipated budget and bought a new one instead of the CRV she really wanted?!

I cannot fathom some people's fear of having a used car.

nderwater wrote: I cannot fathom some people's fear of having a used car.

It's because used is not new.

I've had people ask me when I'm going to buy a new car whenever I take my beater off the road for maintenance. As if new cars don't need maintenance.

I dunno, I see a lot of cars newer than mine stranded on the side of the road more times than I care to admit.

Smash the taurus into his car so they both have to buy one from china .

I've bought new; I've bought used; both have advantages. When you buy new you take the hit but when you keep the car for 8+ years the depreciation curve flattens out and it lessens the impact.

It's the "new every 2" or 3 years plan that really separates fools from their money. On the other hand, 36-month lease returns are the natural habitat of those of us who can spot a bargain.

This is my opinion so take it with a grain of salt. If she is your girlfriend I would not be stepping on the father's toes. Talk to your girlfriend and see why her dad wants a new car instead of keeping a car with no payments what-so-ever.

I can see if she was your wife you can have a larger say, but if you guys plan on a future together and you start butting into the father's business (especially "HIS" little girl) things might be rough in the future after you guys get married.

If he wants to buy her a car then I don't see a problem with it. He's spending the money.

I think previous posters have it the underlying issue on the head. Your girlfriend's parents are most likely concerned for her safety and whether rational or not, they see an older car as a threat to their daughter. Concern for your daughter is an admirable trait.

Here is what I suggest. Have her (not you) get a general condition check on the car by a reputable shop. This will give some evidence from a source other than a boyfriend, that the car is in extraordinary good shape. Then she can have a conversation with dad (and mom if appropriate) that goes something like this. "Dad. I understand and appreciate the love and caring that are driving your desire to see me in a new car. I take your concerns seriously and have had the car looked over by someone trustworthy. I am told the car is great shape and should be reliable. Buying a new car is a major expense. Given the current economy, I do not want to take on that added expense. I would rather save that money so that I am in good shape should my hours get cut or I have to find other work. You have taught me to be responsible with my money and obligations. Continuing to use the car Grampa gave me is the best way I see to do that.

She can find her own words. The message in a nutshell is this: I know you care about me. I take your concerns seriously. A new car is not the best decision for me. You are great parents. I am living in accordance with values you taught me.

stay on his good side so you can continue to bang his daughter.

AngryCorvair wrote: stay on his good side so you can continue to bang his daughter.

/thread.