I think it is time for a GRM update and some more internet over-share. Some of you knew this might happen and for others it will be a surprise. My motivation for this posting is that I have been writing a lot here on GRM about minivan/SUV shopping. A lot of people know that I will need space for two kid car seats. In those threads I didn't want to just drop the bomb that now I will only need seating for one kid.
Yeah, 2 weeks before Thanksgiving (2 months ago), the court hearing was final and our little guy went back to his birth parents 100%.
This was not a surprise to us. The process was gradual and we always knew this could be the outcome. The way this works with Children Protection Services (CPS) is that if the birth-parents can get their act together then they can get their kid back. It was easy for us to bet against their ability to get their act together...but, they have. This gives us the net result of 2 better adults. I guess that is a good thing. The birth parents have always had visitation with him. At first this was just 2 hours, supervised by CPS people. This then grew to all day, then over nights, then weekends and, for the last 9 weeks they had him for 4 days out of 7.
Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, all of this is a huge mixed bag of emotions. It seems cruel to say but one of those emotions is also relief. Taking him on was a big burden but wrapped with joy also. On the bright side, he still remains Jane's half brother. We still maintain a relationship with the birth parents and we still have the ability to see him going forward.
We think Jane understands but again, it is all complex. He was with us from 4 months old to 22 months old but all that while, Jane saw him go to visitation every week up to and including him not being here for 4 days at a time. As a 4-5 yr old, Jane was happy to not have to share with him. As he grew older and walking/talking she was less happy with him taking her toys or messing with her stuff. But, she was also happy to have him around. Again, complex.
The week before he left, we did a photo session and some of those pics made it onto our Christmas card this year.
Thanks in advance for your well wishes.
Just to clear the air....no, I do not think he will be coming back. You see, though he has the same birth mom as Jane, he does not have the same father. We are admittedly not the biggest fans of this father and to make things more complex, Abby is pregnant again via this same guy. Yeah!!! So, going forward, if there comes a time where this little guy needs support from CPS again, he will have a full blood sibling who needs that support too. We agree that it will be best for those two kids to stay together but we have the heart felt resolve that we are not the right people to take on him and another with the other being even younger.
Yeah, did I mention it's all complex!
Thanks again
jwelsh02...yahoo...