Chebbie_SB wrote: On negotiating: From the movie "Air Force One" with Harrison Ford as the Prez - "If you give a mouse a cookie, he's gonna want a glass of milk too !" My father was a firm believer in "Belt 'em in the car & they'll be safe in the store" or something like that...

My Mother too. Yowling, screaming and crying are the things I see most kids getting away with today. They know they embarrass you when they do it so they do it in the most public of places knowing they can get what they want from you.

set rules, stick to them, be consistent.

That's about it. My wife was a teacher of little kids, and quite frankly the biggest problem kids are the ones whose parents do not stick to the rules and/or do not address it appropriately.

I don't believe in spankings for my kids for punishment, but depending on what they did would.. Specifically bad safety things, such as running around in the street or doing other bad unsafe things.

Rule #1: Never bargain with a terrorist.

I would drag my kids, kicking and screaming.. over a shoulder, whatever when they would misbehave in public and strap them into the car seat. They would scream until they were done but - I'd not talk or look at them. I only ever had to do it once or twice. After that - "Is it time for you to go sit in the car" was enough.

I hate it when parents let their kids ruin everyone else's dinner, or movie or whatever and thet them scream while they sit looking helpless and whispering "sssshhhhh".

<----not an expert. I have a two year old boy. I'm the strict one, and both my son and my wife know it. He listens to me quite a bit better 90% of the time. For me it's consistency. If I threaten time out, I follow through. I let him cry stuff out at home, when he doesn't get his way, but I don't give in. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. Tiring and maddening. However, I think he'll be a better man for it. I can't say I've never given in, but I make every effort to avoid it. My wife is a little softer, and as a result pays the price at times. In the winter, my wife and I work different days of the week. I have him solo on my two days off, and so does my wife....day care the other three days. My patience is usually well tested by my second day off. I love the little guy, but I must admit at times I need a break from him for my sanity. I honestly have no idea how single parents manage it....my hat is off to them for managing it. I also find that helping him avoid boredom, and making sure he gets sleep goes a long way in terms of his general mood.

Ignorant wrote: I don't believe in spankings for my kids for punishment, but depending on what they did would.. Specifically bad safety things, such as running around in the street or doing other bad unsafe things.

I was raised with a belt - and I turned out OK (sortof). I have used corporal punishment with my own kids - but I have to admit - it has a very logical downside to me. I don't like giving them the long term idea that the way adults ultimately solve all problems is with violence. I'd be hypocritical if I said I've never taken one of them over my knee but I have also found that consistent application of both positive and negative consequences that don't involve hitting have been just as or more effective.

1 - you are not their friend, it is not your job to be their friend, they are not your "bud", you are their parent - your job is to raise them into what they ~should~ become.

2 - Raising kids / raising dogs. It's not that much different. They are an "animal." You don't reason with a puppy that craps on the carpet. What you say is law.

3 - Be consistent. Know your absolutes, and STICK to them. Don't make promises you won't follow through on, but follow through on the promises you make.

4 - Win ALL the battles now, so you can win MOST of the battles when they are older.

For heaven's sake don't expect the daycare or school system to raise your kids for you - they have enough crap on their "politically driven" plate already.

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: I hate it when parents let their kids ruin everyone else's dinner, or movie or whatever and thet them scream while they sit looking helpless and whispering "sssshhhhh".

That involves saying "no" to their special, unique, gifted, interesting gift to the world. Umpossible.