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Tom Suddard
Tom Suddard GRM+ Memberand SonDork
7/4/11 8:07 a.m.
SVreX wrote: I don't understand why a heterosexual man would adopt mannerisms that send such mixed social cues. Doesn't this lead to being a social outcast?

No, because girls love them. Metrosexuals are a double threat- all the attractiveness (to girls) of a gay person, and actually interested in girls like a straight person. Metrosexuals are all the rage in my school.

Here's some reference material that is actually a really good summary of the situation:

http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s07e08-south-park-is-gay

Curmudgeon
Curmudgeon SuperDork
7/4/11 8:09 a.m.

Metrosexuals creep me out. It's like they can't make up their minds or something.

N Sperlo
N Sperlo HalfDork
7/4/11 8:10 a.m.

Tom has a point. The flamboyant mannerism leads to a personality that is not a threat. Its why women will hang out in a gay club.

He must be stopped!

SVreX
SVreX SuperDork
7/4/11 8:10 a.m.
racinginc215 wrote: So he's a bible thumping metrosexual marine. No good can come of this.

My sentiments exactly.

Apexcarver
Apexcarver SuperDork
7/4/11 8:10 a.m.

A metro marine is kinda surprising to me.

Many marines I encounter, while great people, have some rage issues. (easily set off). I respect the hell out of them, but have seen a strong correlation.

Sounds like he is very "feelings" based rather then logic/reasoning based. What you might try to do is get him to spell out his intentions in a logical/reasoning based overview and get a feeling from there. You are trying to look out for your daughter's best interest. You need to figure out if he is also interested in her best interest or if he is just in it for himself and his feelings. (Be ready for some kind of abandonment issue from the sound of it)

SVreX
SVreX SuperDork
7/4/11 8:15 a.m.

That's a good summary, Apex.

N Sperlo
N Sperlo HalfDork
7/4/11 8:18 a.m.

Still, with the facts being that your 21 year old daughter looks 16, is cute, and he is 31...

MrJoshua
MrJoshua SuperDork
7/4/11 8:20 a.m.

Don't take this the wrong way-but I bet your daughter is pretty spectacular, especially to this guy. He is full of so many contradictions that most girls probably shrug him off or want to be his best friend. In your daughter he has found someone who shares his strong faith, isn't offended by his being a Marine, and apparently isn't scared off by all of his "wimpy" traits like poetry/intelligence/clingyness/etc... Add to that the fact that she is highly intelligent, digs cars, has traveled the world and values family and you have a girl that has more in common with 30 year old guys than 20 year olds. That said, he is definitely falling in love too soon. Nobody knows anyone well enough to fall in love in a matter of weeks.

Cole_Trickle
Cole_Trickle Reader
7/4/11 8:21 a.m.

Dont ask, dont tell...

I would try to hang out and see him around his friends. It might provide some insight. People are just harder to get a read on these days. Gay looking guys can be straight and straight looking guys can be big homo's. I worked with a guy who was a "mans man" kinda guy. He loved football, drinking and all things that are man (except women). I didnt find out until one day, he said that he was going to the gym and hoped that there were some hot guys there. I corrected him..."Girls?" and then he corrected me... It was awkward for a second.

N Sperlo
N Sperlo HalfDork
7/4/11 8:26 a.m.

Joshua makes a good point.

I like to think of myself as mature. I date older girls. I find younger less mature girls not liking me, and the girls who usually do approach me are more mature weather or not they are older. This not always leaving Wifey too happy, but she deals. The ones I keep around as friends, I make sure she knows about.

EDIT: I dated. Been with the same one for over five years and plan on keeping it that way. Hence the name "Wifey." She is one year older, but older none-the-less.

SVreX
SVreX SuperDork
7/4/11 8:31 a.m.

Good word, Mr. J

SVreX
SVreX SuperDork
7/4/11 8:32 a.m.
Cole_Trickle wrote: I would try to hang out and see him around his friends. It might provide some insight.

Good idea, but gonna be extremely tough. He lives on the base, and civilians don't have access.

4Msfam
4Msfam New Reader
7/4/11 8:38 a.m.

Well, as someone who is a male nurse, loves being around girls (I've got two daughters, female dig and cat, and a WIFE), likes the occasional pedicure, and has more female friends then guys, it's not the metro thing I'd worry about.

Being overthetop with emotions, and CLINGY (and the 10year age difference) sets me off. Sounds like he could be a fatal attraction kinda guy. I'd just be honest with your daughter... Ask her what she likes in him... Maybe she just wants some temporay attention before her trip. Then tell her you'll always support her, but you have "x" fears about her guy.

My biggest fear is one of my girls bringing home Slash from GnR.

ZOO
ZOO GRM+ Memberand SuperDork
7/4/11 8:42 a.m.

Are we really, in the 21st Century, ascribing sexual orientation to mannerisms? Come on guys -- so he enjoys taking care of himself, and he has a lisp. Doesn't make him gay by any stretch.

I would have lunch with him. I would "interview" him if it seems your daughter is falling for him. But if she's not falling for him, I wouldn't meddle too much. You don't want to make him seem "extra" attractive (like the forbidden fruit, forgive the pun).

I like to wear fashionable clothes. I like to be clean, and clean cut. I'd probably even like a pedicure (never had one, but sounds relaxing). I'm also tall, fit, and slender. Probably verging in "metro" -- and most assuredly not gay or a pedophile. This board is better than what I'm reading -- we don't usually play to the stereotypes.

Now, I'm sayng all this from the perspective of a man with an 8 year old daughter. Things may change rapidly in the next 10 to 15 years

spitfirebill
spitfirebill SuperDork
7/4/11 8:45 a.m.
My biggest fear is one of my girls bringing home Slash from GnR.

That may be better than Axl.

N Sperlo
N Sperlo HalfDork
7/4/11 8:46 a.m.

In reply to ZOO:

Don't let things change too much. My in-laws were very accepting of me. My father-in-law only shot me once.

I'm not saying pedophile because of the metrosexual thing. I'm one of the most accepting people in the world. Its the age difference that kind of sets off my alarms.

SVreX
SVreX SuperDork
7/4/11 8:46 a.m.

Zoo, I'm not making assumptions about sexual orientation, and very few comments in this thread have done so.

The "homophobic" thing has nothing to do with this. Just honest concerns about a guy who has a lot of contradictions.

ZOO
ZOO GRM+ Memberand SuperDork
7/4/11 8:50 a.m.
N Sperlo wrote: In reply to ZOO: Don't let things change too much. My in-laws were very accepting of me. My father-in-law only shot me once. I'm not saying pedophile because of the metrosexual thing. I'm one of the most accepting people in the world. Its the age difference that kind of sets off my alarms.

I certainly didn't mention the pedophile thing in my post, either. Because, regardless of how we feel about the age difference, it doesn't apply here. I do know many, many men and women who have met and fallen in love despite age differences. She is an adult (even though she will always be someone's daughter).

I'm not planning on shooting any of my daughter's boyfriends. Shooting is too fast. I'm simply going to practice my death stare, and sharpen long knives whenever he's around -- maybe chop up a lot of sausages for pasta sauce in his view, just so he gets the idea

FlightService
FlightService HalfDork
7/4/11 8:53 a.m.
racinginc215 wrote: two words, Shoot him.

QFT

Metro-Marine-High Pressure.

Talk to his C.O. to get the skinny.

SVreX
SVreX SuperDork
7/4/11 8:54 a.m.

Zoo:

You misunderstood N Sperlo. He DID mention pedophile, but in an appropriate manner.

N Sperlo
N Sperlo HalfDork
7/4/11 8:54 a.m.

The pedophile thing is a concern only because SVreX wouldn't want his daughter to go through the pain of dating one. She is obviously of age to make proper decisions and sounds plenty mature. She is also of age for SVreX to waterboard whoever she dates.

I know I don't want to hear any horror stories later. I want to hear that he is a very good man with great intentions.

EDIT: And of corse its no surprise, I've misread something. (I'm LD in reading comprehension. I need to work on my reading. )

SVreX
SVreX SuperDork
7/4/11 8:55 a.m.

His C.O. is a woman who apparently appreciates his mannerisms. Don't know if she'll have much insight.

N Sperlo
N Sperlo HalfDork
7/4/11 8:57 a.m.
SVreX wrote: His C.O. is a woman who apparently appreciates his mannerisms. Don't know if she'll have much insight.

Best not bark up that tree.

ZOO
ZOO GRM+ Memberand SuperDork
7/4/11 9:02 a.m.
SVreX wrote: Zoo: You misunderstood N Sperlo. He DID mention pedophile, but in an appropriate manner.

My "issue", so to speak, was about ascribing sexual orientation to mannerisms. Pedophelia is NOT a sexual orientation -- it is a sickness.

And I didn't call anyone one out on it either -- N. Sperlo or otherwise.

N Sperlo
N Sperlo HalfDork
7/4/11 9:04 a.m.

In reply to ZOO:

Not worried about it. I didn't read into it that way. Just figured I'd clarify.

Carry on gentlemen.

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