Learn me- moving to Florida.

Debbie Downer post:

My biological sperm donor left for another woman and new family down in Austin when I was 2. 30 some years later I decided to google him and found out he had died a few months before. Luckily I had a great step dad that cursed me with being a gear head and Browns fan.

My Wife's did the same thing when she was 4. He has stayed in contact by sending a birthday card every year with just his name in it. We invited him to the wedding but he didnt come because Columbus, Ohio was too far from Boston.

I know this is all just wacky forum fun with way more details than any of us will ever know, but I cant help but think innocent parties are going to get screwed somehow.

bluebarchetta wrote: So your plan is to leave a flawed but loving wife and a special-needs child, putting them on government assistance, and run off to Florida and be with a woman who has broken your heart in the past and nearly gotten you killed? Is there any possible way that works out well for anyone involved - you, your wife, your son, Amy, the taxpayers of the State of Minnesota? For heaven's sake, man. Stick with your wife and your son, who is going to need you for a lot more than video games in the years to come. Forget Amy. Rub one out to her memory from time to time if you need to, but be a man who keeps his promises and is loyal to those who are loyal to him. Be proud of the guy you see in the mirror every morning, and maybe you'll find peace.

....I'll go ahead and assume you don't know how the healthcare system works as well as I do, so I can explain.

It's not putting them on govt assistance. The problem with modern healthcare is if you're lower middle class and you've got high need, you're berkeleyed. Everyone has gone to HSA/FSA style programs. Mental health/ special needs services are woefully underfunded in the private sector. Im not joking when I say if you've got a developmentally disabled child, you're best off either rich, or broke. Most private insurances don't cover things like occupational therapy for autism. I know this, because I spent 10 years explaining to people why their children could not get help. So, in a stroke of luck, bumping my wife and son down a tax bracket allows him to qualify for the services he needs without breaking the berkeley out of our check books, as it had been.

As far as keeping promises, I stand by every single one. I'm not entirely sure how clear I was I said, this was my wife's plan. I would never leave her side unless she told me to go. And when someone you love tells you to do that, you do that. I know you haven't been there. I don't expect anyone to get it. But, if I didn't go, she would live with the what if, and the constant doubt that I resented her for the rest of her life. She is doing this as much for herself as she is doing it for me. She cannot live with the thought of me holding a what if. True or not, I would never be able to change her mind.

I'm sensing the wife wanting out, but making it your idea. Go-be with her, you'll always wonder if you don't try.

In reply to all the naysayers:

Honestly everyone, MNDSM knows what is going on and I'm sure he has done more than his share of soul searching. None of this sounds like it has bean approached lightly or flippantly, rather he is taking a situation (the makings of which are the only part we should take as a cautionary tale) and doing the best he can with it. Without being in his shoes and knowing exactly what is going on among all involved parties we shouldn't cast stones.

MrJoshua wrote: I'm sensing the wife wanting out, but making it your idea. Go-be with her, you'll always wonder if you don't try.

Also possible. But if that's the case, I care enough to give her what she wants as well.

I suddenly realized how entertaining the drama in this thread has been and now feel bad for making fun of my wife for watching those shows on Bravo.

NO ONE SHALL EVER SPEAK TO HER ABOUT THIS THREAD.

Enyar wrote: I suddenly realized how entertaining the drama in this thread has been and now feel bad for making fun of my wife for watching those shows on Bravo. NO ONE SHALL EVER SPEAK TO HER ABOUT THIS THREAD.

What's it worth to you? Moving is expensive.

Wow. This is a helluva story.

As it turns out, I have an ex-GF who lives in Orlando. When I was hitched, I purposely never contacted this girl because I know she's my Kryptonite and for some strange reason I'm hers. Cliffs Notes: due to one thing and another it's not gonna happen. It sounds to me like you have your mind pretty well made up and I wish you luck.

Oh, and she hates Florida. She said flat out her job pays super well and that's the only thing that keeps her there.

My Amy is living happily in Germany with her German boyfriend. She's half the reason I moved there last year. Unknown it shall remain.

Sorry to butt in. I was just walking across the bridge and saw a brother about to jump off the edge, and thought I'd holler, "Hey, don't do it! Come down from there! Tomorrow's another day!"

Married 16 years, got a son with a congenital heart defect, sometimes I've had insurance, sometimes I haven't, so I haven't walked your exact path, but the path I've walked isn't too far removed.

Still hoping you'll open the "Stick With Your Wife" fortune cookie.

bluebarchetta wrote: Still hoping you'll open the "Stick With Your Wife" fortune cookie.

Nice reference!

bluebarchetta wrote: Sorry to butt in. I was just walking across the bridge and saw a brother about to jump off the edge, and thought I'd holler, "Hey, don't do it! Come down from there! Tomorrow's another day!" Married 16 years, got a son with a congenital heart defect, sometimes I've had insurance, sometimes I haven't, so I haven't walked your exact path, but the path I've walked isn't too far removed. Still hoping you'll open the "Stick With Your Wife" fortune cookie.

No offense taken. I just have made a lot of very calculated decsions in regard to this and so on. Wife said today she wants to go her own path- so there is no stick with it cookie.

I must say, this may just surpass the original Amy story.

Datsun1500 wrote: I have to assume the wife sees this as an easy way out as well.

It's looking more likely as this goes on.

My Amy live 70 miles south and married to another woman. Wife and her are total friends. Still awkward for me.

MNDSM, living with 'what if' really sucks E36 M3 dick. Do what ever it is that you think will make you happy. If you're not chasing happiness then you're not living honestly.

Also, how have you lived this long? You should blog.

yupididit wrote: Also, how have you lived this long? You should blog.

You know, its funny. You're not even close to the first person to tell me that.

mndsm.

Take notes / keep a diary and stash it away then publish the latest best seller or TV show (changing the names of course). Win Win?

Call is "Shades of Amy?. .. . Ok sorry could not resist. .

Sounds like you and you wife had already moved on quite some time ago and taken this as the the opportunity to make it easier (for her and you)

Best of luck with things!!! Hopefully it is a win for everyone.

This is going to come off as cliche.....

We all get one shot at life, you have to make the best of it. If you honestly think in the long run this will make you happy, then jump and don't give it a second thought. You seem to know that this could end up being the wrong decision but is a chance worth taking.

I respect that.

I've never met anyone who has gotten every aspect of their life right on the first try. I believe most of my life is right as of now but there's always that thought in the back of my head. The only regret I have is not pursuing the career of my dreams. I love what I do now but every now and again I have some regret, and it is too late do to age.

Go for it. If it doesn't work out you won't be left wondering "what if". All of our experiences make up who we are.

etifosi wrote: I've learned the flying spaghetti monster can be a real shiny happy person.

This made me bust a gut. Internet gold!!!!!

This thread has hit far too close to home for me. My wife and I had a similar set of conversations years ago. Including the "go to her" one. My response was something along the lines of "BERK that E36 M3! I'm standing next to you, not her."

MNDSM, good luck brother. You've got a road in front of you, and I don't believe that is going to be a particularly smooth one.

mndsm wrote:

Datsun1500 wrote: I have to assume the wife sees this as an easy way out as well.

It's looking more likely as this goes on.

Don't feel bad, I guess?

Mine went from us adopting a 10-week old puppy to demanding a divorce with no chance for reconciliation in a course of about 10 weeks. Thankfully we worked out the details amicably and I let her keep the house so I'm now free to go elsewhere.

Best of luck!

So, just because I feel like fanning the flames, the wife just told me she may have....propositioned Amy if she ever happened to be in Florida.

Have fun with that one, internet!

In reply to mndsm:

Makes sense, I imagine the first step in having an open relationship is being open about it.

100% sincerely and honestly - I appreciate you & Curtis(and others) being so willing to discuss your lives/concerns and to come here for input from people whom most of(I presume) can barely even conceive of what you're going through. I'm not the judgmental type, so I don't view the situation with any preconceived bias. Yet this discussion(and other similar ones) have made me aware of situations/thoughts/feelings I likely never would have considered on my own - and through that, I feel you've helped me grow as a person. Even though there's no way I'd ever want to follow in your path, I now better understand why you do and I'm ok with that.

mndsm wrote: So, just because I feel like fanning the flames, the wife just told me she may have....propositioned Amy if she ever happened to be in Florida. Have fun with that one, internet!

Don't visit the GRM forum and come back for an interesting thread and a crummy one.

Off to enjoy to the $5 special, can of PBR and a shot of Jameson!