Learn Me: Real diamond engagement rings - plan included

I ate at the Jai Ho Indian Cuisine restaurant at 2311 E. Fowler Ave a month or so ago. It's in a strip mall across the street from the big mall. It was good. 80 year old guy running it, etc.

As for diamond shopping, it's all about Cut, Color and Clarity. There's gotta be some web pages on how all that is rated. All real diamonds have some flaw. It's a matter of how much magnification you need to see it. Naked eye flaw versus loupe. That's the clarity part. More clear (less flaw) is more expensive. Color: No color (white) is most valuable. More color (typically more yellow, although there are some South American diamonds that are green naturally) is less value. Colors are rated with letters starting at D. Personally, I feel that a better color grade and lesser grade flaw is a better value. A 1 Carat D or E with a bigger flaw will wow her friends a lot more than a 1 Carat F or G color with no flaw visible to the naked eye, and may even cost less. The diamond wholesaler will tell you what the rock you're looking at is rated at. Also, some cuts can be more shallow than others, which means that you can have a bigger looking diamond for less weight. Remember that these things are sold like cold cuts at the butcher. You pay by the pound (or pound fraction, the Carat.) There are 2,267.962 carats to the pound.

That whole 3 month rule thing, man what a racket. I think it used to be 1 month. Lessee, I think everyone should spend... Six month's salary on whatever it is I sell. Yeah, that's it, six months... I mean, if you REALLY LOVE HER, you'll put yourself in debt to The Man for, uh, a year's salary to buy my crap. Yeah... That's it.

Only advice I can offer is I wasn't personally comfortable spending more than a 2 week paycheck on a ring and I didn't.

The wife found a ~1200 ring she liked, bang. Done deal.

I proposed to my wife without the ring, floating in the pool on a floaty with beers in both our hands. I'm more romantic than she so I played to my audience.

When it came to the ring I also let her find both her engagement and her wedding rings. She is a bit of a fashonista so I let her choose something she would want to wear over something I would want her to. A little different but having her involved in the process was really fun.

For her engagement ring she found a vintage Citrine surrounded by 4 small pearls and cloisonne on the body on eBay. It is very cool and she wears it often on either hand.

Her wedding ring is a vintage gold ring with 4 small rows of diamonds she found at a jewelry store (estate sale) while at a conference in Savannah. She sent a picture from her phone, I told her to go get her real camera, which she did and I agreed.

Neither of the rings was crazy expensive and they both mean a great deal to her. The wedding ring eventually sacrificed itself in saving her finger from getting broken when two metal doors at a beachfront resort slammed together from a wind vortex. I borrowed tools from one of the service guys to bend it enough to relieve the pressure for the drive home. Once home we got it in my bench vise and with a needle nose "rounded" it enough for her to get her finger out. I spent more than it cost originally and had it totally re-made at a jeweler. She loves it and loves me for getting it fixed.

My advice, don't let this be your ring to her, let it be your ring together.

Dr. Hess wrote: Here's how to tell if you are in a real wholesaler: there's nothing on display. Zip. The outer door is locked. You have to be beeped in. There's a desk, receptionist, guy in a suit probably named Something-stein, a safe. You tell him what you are looking for, he opens a drawer in the safe, pulls out a couple of packets, shows you the stones, one at a time after first putting them on a scale and pushing some buttons on a calculator and telling you a price based on the scale's digital weight readout. If that didn't happen, you are at a jewelery store, not a jewelery wholesaler. I would guarantee that there is a community of these places in Tampa somewhere. No idea where that would be. There are probably blocks of them in NYC. I suggest finding some yellow pages or maybe google foo-ing wholesale jewelers and look for groups of businesses in the same building or right next to each other. I can tell you where to get Indian food in Tampa, though.

This. The guy I went to literally had a window, and a receptionist, and pulled a book of rings out from somewhere, and I bought his demo for my ring right then and there. I would have NEVER known it existed if my wife didn't work in the same building.

If she demands an expensive diamond, find a new girl.

I agree with ask what she wants, but I gave my wife I picked out alone (and was stupid about it) and paid cash. It wasn't expensive many years ago. She does not care. She got what she wanted and I eventually got what I wanted.

If you are set on buying a diamopnd, I know where two are that were purchased from Blue Nile and have paper work. I strongly suspect they can be bought for way less than Blue Nile sold them for. One never made it to the alter.

Gotta love fabricated tradition:

300 years ago a couple got married-- the wife's parents gave the new couple a "dowry" (usually land, some livestock, etc.) to help them begin their new life together. This was a shared gift that had value and use.

Today the man is expected to purchase an extremely extravagant, completely useless totem to "prove" his love. The woman---- does not give a gift, but the ring will be the first thing any of her friends / family ask to see, so it better be nice, or it reflects poorly on her husband to be.

It seems we are immediately starting relationships on the wrong foot, where the woman will expect things from the man with nothing given in return. What happened to an "equal sharing" of life?

It always pisses women off when I ask for a reasonable explanation of what went wrong. Big surprise I'm not married huh?

Remember those commercials from DeBeers about the "X year anniversary diamond..." I forget how many. 1, 10, whatever. Making a new tradition from scratch. I mean, it's like being at Texas A&M: Anytime someone does something 2 years in a row, it's a new" tradition." I swear, if someone told the fish that it was tradition to jump off the tower on the 17th day of class, there would be a line.

Shoot, now I'm second guessing... I really wanted to keep her out of it. I'm going to wait and see what her sister/friend says....maybe they have a good enough idea.

spitfirebill wrote: If she demands an expensive diamond, find a new girl. If you are set on buying a diamopnd, I know where two are that were purchased from Blue Nile and have paper work. I strongly suspect they can be bought for way less than Blue Nile sold them for. One never made it to the alter.

Definitely interested...Ill send you a message!

Costco has great jewelry prices. I think they had a double the purchase price appraisal guarantee.

spitfirebill wrote: If she demands an expensive diamond, find a new girl. I agree with ask what she wants, but I gave my wife I picked out alone (and was stupid about it) and paid cash. It wasn't expensive many years ago. She does not care. She got what she wanted and I eventually got what I wanted. If you are set on buying a diamopnd, I know where two are that were purchased from Blue Nile and have paper work. I strongly suspect they can be bought for way less than Blue Nile sold them for. One never made it to the alter.

I sent you an email but never heard back, did you get it?

Enyar wrote:

spitfirebill wrote: If she demands an expensive diamond, find a new girl. I agree with ask what she wants, but I gave my wife I picked out alone (and was stupid about it) and paid cash. It wasn't expensive many years ago. She does not care. She got what she wanted and I eventually got what I wanted. If you are set on buying a diamopnd, I know where two are that were purchased from Blue Nile and have paper work. I strongly suspect they can be bought for way less than Blue Nile sold them for. One never made it to the alter.

I sent you an email but never heard back, did you get it?

I just got it (work email) and responded. I'll get back with you when I find out the details.

I haven't had time to read this whole thread, so I apologize if I'm covering ground already tread. But my $.02 on the ring.

Don't be worried about keeping her out of it. After all, it's not the ring itself that's the surprise. If you're dating long enough and you're both of the same mindset on the relationship, it's a foregone conclusion you're going to propose at some point. So talking about the ring isn't giving away any big secret. The fun/surprise comes in the when/how/where of popping the question.

For my wife's ring, I told her to draw a picture of her ideal ring. I took that drawing and went to "jewelers' row" in Philadelphia. Luckily, I had some recommendations from others of which stores to go to. I laid the picture on the counter and talked to them about making that exact ring. A little negotiation later, I had the exact ring my wife wanted. So I knew she'd be happy with it. It was the planning on how to ask her that was the fun and surprise (I did it at a 4th of July fireworks show).

^^^ That's kinda how my wife was.

Unfortunately, I wasn't that savy on buying diamnod rings.

I had already proposed before finding a ring, it was a spur of the moment thing.

I followed your 1st post to the letter, she didn't know about it prior to giving her the ring. The stone is a brilliant 1 ct, I had a good idea on what setting she wanted and had it made, even got the size right.

The ring was a bigger hit than the proposal.

This article seems rather timely.

http://consumerist.com/2013/03/27/why-do-we-do-the-whole-diamond-engagement-ring-thing-anyway/