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pilotbraden
pilotbraden Dork
8/7/12 4:55 p.m.

Go and do not look back, seize the opportunity

Toyman01
Toyman01 GRM+ Memberand PowerDork
8/7/12 5:04 p.m.

“It’s better to have tried and failed than to live life wondering what would’ve happened if I had tried” – Alfred Lord Tennyson

logdog
logdog GRM+ Memberand New Reader
8/7/12 9:52 p.m.

There have been two times in my life I moved away from everything I knew for a chance at something better. It is a hard thing to do but worth it. It worked out for me in both cases.

T.J.
T.J. PowerDork
8/7/12 10:00 p.m.

I haven't lived close to any family in 23 years. Most of that time was due to my spending 20 years in the Navy. Since I retired from the military, I've lived in two states I had never stepped foot in before I came to start working. I sometimes question if this was the best path. I have a brother-in-law who lives about 8 blocks from my in-laws. Sometimes that would be nice. Sometimes it wouldn't.

It is a hard choice to try to make the decision on something like you are facing. Once you make your decision, even if it doesn't work out like you planned (or hoped) there is really no way to ever know how things would've worked out if you made the other choice. If you take the gamble and something goes awry, you really have no way of knowing what could've happened if you would've played it safe. You get to choose once. Think it through, discuss with the wife and make the decision that seems right.

curtis73
curtis73 GRM+ Memberand SuperDork
8/7/12 10:46 p.m.

I did it several times with Mrs. Curtis73 as we "sowed our oats." Then we ended up moving back to the home state at 38. It kinda sucked while we were away from family, and I had to rely on my skills/talents to find modest jobs that paid the bills but it was worth it. I've lived in some of the neatest places and learned SO much from my travels.

Do it. If it sucks, move back.

neon4891
neon4891 UltimaDork
8/7/12 10:52 p.m.

good luck.

Hal
Hal Dork
8/8/12 2:25 p.m.

Last semester of college and I was looking for a teaching job. Interviewed with the local school system and they gave me a contract to sign. When I got home I was proud of my self and showed it to my mother.

Her question was "Where are you going to live?" My answer was "Right here". Her reply was " No you are not. You will be a college graduate with a job so you need to find your own place". When my father came home he backed her up.

So I didn't sign the contract and ended up moving 200 miles away where the pay was a bit better. Probably one of the best things I ever did.

dabird
dabird New Reader
8/8/12 2:38 p.m.
Hal wrote: Last semester of college and I was looking for a teaching job. Interviewed with the local school system and they gave me a contract to sign. When I got home I was proud of my self and showed it to my mother. Her question was "Where are you going to live?" My answer was "Right here". Her reply was " No you are not. You will be a college graduate with a job so you need to find your own place". When my father came home he backed her up. So I didn't sign the contract and ended up moving 200 miles away where the pay was a bit better. Probably one of the best things I ever did.

I'm proud of your parents

PHeller
PHeller SuperDork
8/8/12 2:42 p.m.
Hal wrote: So I didn't sign the contract and ended up moving 200 miles away where the pay was a bit better. Probably one of the best things I ever did.

You may have regretted that decision if both your parents became ill and you were not around to help them.

Or

You had children and they never got to know their grandparents.

200 miles isn't much, though.

dyintorace
dyintorace GRM+ Memberand UltraDork
8/8/12 2:49 p.m.
Javelin wrote: My family is split between California and Florida. Her family is here in Washington. The gamble involves my family in Florida. We would be moving to FL, and my family is both large and very close.

As a Floridian and out of curiosity, what part of FL?

As for the question, you sound like a level headed guy. Take the plunge and see what happens. If it doesn't work out, you can always move back.

Javelin
Javelin GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
8/8/12 3:03 p.m.

In reply to dyintorace:

I'm from Cocoa, and my sister is still there. Dad's in new Smyrna Beach (by GRM HQ). Uncle, great Uncle, and Cousins are all in Orlando. Gramps is in Titusville.

dyintorace
dyintorace GRM+ Memberand UltraDork
8/8/12 3:19 p.m.
Javelin wrote: In reply to dyintorace: I'm from Cocoa, and my sister is still there. Dad's in new Smyrna Beach (by GRM HQ). Uncle, great Uncle, and Cousins are all in Orlando. Gramps is in Titusville.

Cool. Not too far from here. I hope you head this way!

Hal
Hal Dork
8/8/12 8:59 p.m.
PHeller wrote:
Hal wrote: So I didn't sign the contract and ended up moving 200 miles away where the pay was a bit better. Probably one of the best things I ever did.
You may have regretted that decision if both your parents became ill and you were not around to help them. Or you had children and they never got to know their grandparents. 200 miles isn't much, though.

Well my brother was still at home. In fact he still is. When he got out of the Army he bought the house from my mother (father had died while he was still in college) and she lived with him until she died. Also I went back one weekend a month till after my mother died. And I don't have any children.

AngryCorvair
AngryCorvair GRM+ Memberand PowerDork
8/8/12 9:44 p.m.
curtis73 wrote: I did it several times with Mrs. Curtis73

DUDE, so did i!

curtis73
curtis73 GRM+ Memberand SuperDork
8/8/12 11:37 p.m.
AngryCorvair wrote:
curtis73 wrote: I did it several times with Mrs. Curtis73
DUDE, so did i!

I know, right? She's like a Cummins with air-ride. She goes forever and rides like a Cadillac.

HiTempguy
HiTempguy SuperDork
8/9/12 1:36 a.m.
PHeller wrote:
Hal wrote: So I didn't sign the contract and ended up moving 200 miles away where the pay was a bit better. Probably one of the best things I ever did.
You may have regretted that decision if both your parents became ill and you were not around to help them. Or You had children and they never got to know their grandparents. 200 miles isn't much, though.

Making your life based on what-ifs is pointless. Anybody can get sick, it happens. As for the whole grandparents thing, surprisingly enough, not everyone's grandparents are thoroughly involved in their lives (mine aren't really, and they live in the same town as me).

Personally, I'm a big fan of putting on the big-boy pants and getting away from the family. It boggles my mind somedays how (for lack of a better term) "sheltered" people are when it comes to families. The most important family you can have IMO is a wife and kids. Your closest friends might even come before your parents and siblings. That may just be me. But if you are thinking about not moving BECAUSE of family, that IMO is the number one reason to move, so you can mature and be independent.

Oh, and I practically see my parents every weekend and have a good relationship with them. I drive back to my hometown to see them. But we've gone without chatting for a couple of months at a time while I've been away and not sweated it, as I can deal with my own life!

T.J.
T.J. PowerDork
8/9/12 5:54 a.m.
curtis73 wrote:
AngryCorvair wrote:
curtis73 wrote: I did it several times with Mrs. Curtis73
DUDE, so did i!
I know, right? She's like a Cummins with air-ride. She goes forever and rides like a Cadillac.

When I first read Curtis' followup, I didn't realize who wrote it at first. I thought it was someone else and this was another time when we would all pile on Curtis' wife.

dean1484
dean1484 GRM+ Memberand UltraDork
8/12/12 1:17 p.m.

Ok. I was following this thread and while I was out changing the oil on the truck (yes under the truck) I thought about it and realised that there was no conclusion.

Any updates?

Karl La Follette
Karl La Follette SuperDork
8/12/12 1:39 p.m.

Just do it get me any window sizes you need window tint for ! You aint gone yet ?

Javelin
Javelin GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
8/12/12 3:10 p.m.

Option C. SWMBO said no moving to Florida this year, but I took the position on a part-time, remote-office basis. Stay tuned...

Sultan
Sultan HalfDork
8/13/12 8:51 a.m.
Javelin wrote: Option C. SWMBO said no moving to Florida this year, but I took the position on a part-time, remote-office basis. Stay tuned...

when you say Washington are you talking about the state or DC?

Javelin
Javelin GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
8/13/12 10:26 a.m.

State. I live about 45 miles north of Portland, OR.

glueguy
glueguy GRM+ Memberand Reader
8/13/12 12:28 p.m.
Javelin wrote: Option C. SWMBO said no moving to Florida this year, but I took the position on a part-time, remote-office basis. Stay tuned...

I'm going to be harsh, but it's done with care

If this is truly an opportunity with a lot of upside, then a half-hearted, part-time, across the country remote effort isn't going to give more than mediocre results.

If you want a compromise, then you go and leave her behind. That way her income and the house stay stable. You throw yourself into it 110% with no distractions living a bachelor life (small apt, mac and cheese, work 12-14 hours a day). Pretend it's like a military assignment overseas. Plan your visits together, talk often, but go to the job and be there in person. If it works out, she'll have confidence to move. If it doesn't, you can go back to WA without having to start over.

It's only a year, you'll be amazed at how fast that flies by.

My office is 1000 miles from my house. I know from whence I speak.

Javelin
Javelin GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
8/13/12 12:53 p.m.

In reply to glueguy:

Back when it was just us two, I would gladly do that. I'm not leaving my 7-month old baby behind for a year.

I'm part-timing this for a few months to see what develops. If it starts working out really well, then I'll have ammo at the end of the year to say "we should do this" and have some actual data to show for it.

AngryCorvair
AngryCorvair GRM+ Memberand PowerDork
8/13/12 8:17 p.m.
curtis73 wrote:
AngryCorvair wrote:
curtis73 wrote: I did it several times with Mrs. Curtis73
DUDE, so did i!
I know, right? She's like a Cummins with air-ride. She goes forever and rides like a Cadillac.

Cummins made me LOL. well-played, sir.

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