I had a thought on this discussing it with somebody last night I figured I should add here. I'm fully aware that I'm in far from the worst position I can be to deal with this. What I'm scared of is the unknown unknown. That stuff I don't know that I don't know yet, which I obviously can't plan for or have any idea what sort of impact to expect from it. That stuff I know I'll probably be surprised by in the worst way.
Daylan C said:So as some of you might know I work 2nd shift with a long commute. For me this ends up meaning I basically have no clue what the hell is going on in the world for a week at a time. Right now this means I'm being told the whole world is falling apart around me while I'm stuck in my repetitive bubble of business as usual. Other than basically everything I look forward to in life being cancelled, I haven't felt any personal impact from this yet. So I'm basically freaking out with no clue what the hell is going on waiting for a piece of falling sky to finally hit me.
Everything I thought I had planned for this year has gone out the window and frankly I have no idea what sort of world I'm going to be planning for when we finally get to the other side of this mess. I don't know how long this is going to last. I just know that attempting to make the sort of life changes I was planning on making are probably a terrible idea at this moment. So I feel like I'm stuck where any progress I was close to making in life is on pause and I have no clue how long I'll be waiting.
Basically. I'm doing my best to keep my E36 M3 together, but I'm scared. I'm kind of angry. And everything sucks.
I'm sorry if you actually read all that word vomit i didn't even proofread.
This entire post is how I feel without the second shift part. Everything I had to look forward to for this year has been cancelled. I can't go anywhere with the time off I have because we apparently closed the world and to top it off you can get tickets for being out of your home if you can't provide the right papers.
Many of you know I already deal with depression. My body has adjusted to every meds I've used after time and some get worse with time. I see a therapist to help me deal with it and I am hitting the limit of what I can emotionally handle. Then the place I have been trying to get away from is now working us harder with less because stuff and they really don't give a crap.
So yeah. I get it.
Javelin MegaDork "You know what hasn't been canceled? This forum.
Keep trucking on man, we're all in it together." This^ I find comfort in the fact that there is an unusually high concentration of intelligent, skilled, good people on this forum. My BS alarm seldom, if ever, goes off.
Planting a garden, even if it's in 5 gallon buckets, can be very theraputic. Getting your hands in the dirt and being out in the sunshine does wonders for the spirit.
Or plant a tree.
I'm trying to set a calm under control tone for the wife and kids as I notice they really take their cues from me. We're trying to setup some new "normals" for the kids in terms of schedule for schooling, meals, exercise, fun, and family time.
I find myself a bit shaken by what the changes have done to my schedule as well, I would imagine this is a common thread among many of us that are normally at work somewhere other than home. I'm trying to focus myself on personal projects and hom stuff that will improve my outlook on life while
Home
-Pressure wash and seal deck & patio
-Pressure wash teak furniture (failed teak oil finish outdoor) and dye fabric cushions
-Privacy landscaping install - 10 mixed pines 8-10', 10 arbor vitae, 3 upright boxwood, 2 magnolia - should get delivered in the next week
-Sort and gut basement to organize stuff and get ready for electrical and framing to finish out
-Build out basement storage area in the section I'll be keeping as work space/storage
Auto
-V - pull heads, replace lifters, pushrods, fast 102 intake, cam,
-V - replace front seat covers from spare set
-V - Steam interior and replace headliner from spare set
-V - Cut and buff paint
-Rabbit - Replace fuel pump relay with exterior LED style setup ala amazon
-Rabbit - Upgrade front hubs to 90-92 Cabby style with fresh wheel bearings
-Rabbit - Replace mirror gaskets
-Rabbit - Replace windshield seal - on the fence as to how I tackle a windshield with one person
-Rabbit - Cut and Buff paint
I can tell you the weather has NOT cooperated in the least either. Rain, cold, snow still coming at us. Today freezing fog. Wife is home, in pain dealing with another diverticulitis attack. The impotency of hearing her moaning in pain and discomfort while there's literally nothing I can do to help her along with the current crop of things just doesn't help me. And then lets not forget the fact that I feel nothing but guilt because I feel emotionally unstable and needy while she is dealing with real physical pain.
I want a refund. This is not the year I ordered and I really have no idea how the berkeley I'm going to make this E36 M3 work.
Be strong for her and work thru anything you can think of for distractions. Amazon and others will be releasing the big screen movies online for ~20 for 48hrs. Cheaper than you could see them in the theater despite having to pop you own popcorn. Find your self a quick outlet - even if goofy - so you can be there for her.
In reply to 84FSP :
Can't have popcorn.... it can literally kill her if untreated.
As for the outlet, I have nothing right now. Can't leave the house unless going to work or coming home. Work sucks ass because of all the people out and higher than normal volume. Customers are agitated and short tempered when they call in. Weather is E36 M3ty so going outside to do something sucks. Hell, we don't even have the big doofy dog to lift our spirits because we had to put her down a few weeks back.
What I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry for about a week. (yes, I'm weak). But I have to go put on my happy face and moderate our latest webinar on coolants in about 30 minutes so that's out. God this year berkeleying sucks.
Daylan C said:I had a thought on this discussing it with somebody last night I figured I should add here. I'm fully aware that I'm in far from the worst position I can be to deal with this. What I'm scared of is the unknown unknown. That stuff I don't know that I don't know yet, which I obviously can't plan for or have any idea what sort of impact to expect from it. That stuff I know I'll probably be surprised by in the worst way.
That is 100% completely natural and a part of the human condition. It's why some have decided they need 800 years worth of toilet paper, others keep trying to say "Eat Vegan and use essential oils and you won't get sick."
I've been going back and watching old favorite shows, favorite sketches, stand up specials..........which by the new Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura specials on Netflix are really, REALLY good. Here's one of my all-time favorite Chappelle bits.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DLuALBnolM
bobzilla said:In reply to 84FSP :
Can't have popcorn.... it can literally kill her if untreated.
As for the outlet, I have nothing right now. Can't leave the house unless going to work or coming home. Work sucks ass because of all the people out and higher than normal volume. Customers are agitated and short tempered when they call in. Weather is E36 M3ty so going outside to do something sucks. Hell, we don't even have the big doofy dog to lift our spirits because we had to put her down a few weeks back.
What I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry for about a week. (yes, I'm weak). But I have to go put on my happy face and moderate our latest webinar on coolants in about 30 minutes so that's out. God this year berkeleying sucks.
There is nothing wrong with having a good ugly cry. I finally did last week. The insanity of this whole + my lady being immuno compromised really makes it all hit home.
We all just have to try to do our best to get through to the other side.
DeadSkunk (Warren) said:I keep going day to day by thinking about my grandsons. We've chosen to stay away from them to be safe, but I sure could use an afternoon of holding the 4 month old and watching the 3 year old run around our house. We need to maintain the separation so that I can do just that in a few weeks or months. Life will certainly change after this, but I'd like to be around to enjoy it and share it with those two little boys.
We've facetimed with Grandma Stampie a couple of times. If you don't do Apple then Google has Duo for the same thing.
John Welsh said:In reply to BlueInGreen - Jon :
As I have said elsewhere and you have illustrated, "this will be the one you tell your grandkids about.". One of those life changing events. The new world on the other side of this event will be different.
The world is going through a "reset". Choose whatever higher power you want. Could be spiritual power or could be natural, evalution, worldly power. Either way, it's happening.
Now is the time to get your mind right with the idea that you will contract this virus. Have a plan for getting through it. Someone you know won't come through it. Those who do come through will be left with a different world.
Yeah me and the mrs. have talked about how it seems to be the world "righting" itself. People for years have talked about how we're getting more distant from one another and nothing like a forced "social distance" to remind us of what togetherness can feel like. Hopefully we come out the other side better for it both as a society and politically (not a flounder).
Oh and if anyone needs to just social connect or tell me how your morning poop went I'm available. My number is F250 then 6003. Area code is 904. I'll admit that I do much better with text than calls.
The worst part for me is that I legitimately have plenty of things I could do, the equipment to do them, the money to afford them, and I can't, because my yard looks like this:
John Welsh said:..."this will be the one you tell your grandkids about.". One of those life changing events...
...Someone you know won't come through it...
Yup.
And it’s been a awhile since the US of A has gone through one of those challenges. I can’t remember anything like it in my 30 years, anyway. I guess 9/11 shook us up pretty good but that felt different somehow.
It got real a few weeks ago when I looked at the statistics and realized that it’s likely, between family, church, racecar friends, and other circles, someone(s) I care about will be gone after this.
Trying not to think about that too much since it’s not something I can control, but it’s there and it’s weird.
In reply to bobzilla :
I’m sorry man, having to grieve the loss of a good dog with everything else going on... that’s rough :(
BlueInGreen - Jon said:John Welsh said:..."this will be the one you tell your grandkids about.". One of those life changing events...
...Someone you know won't come through it...
Yup.
And it’s been a awhile since the US of A has gone through one of those challenges. I can’t remember anything like it in my 30 years, anyway. I guess 9/11 shook us up pretty good but that felt different somehow.
It got real a few weeks ago when I looked at the statistics and realized that it’s likely, between family, church, racecar friends, and other circles, someone(s) I care about will be gone after this.
Trying not to think about that too much since it’s not something I can control, but it’s there and it’s weird.
We were chatting about this yesterday, through Slack with the guys from the office. Life-changing or very specifically USA things that are a "do you remember where you were when" type things.
Challenger and Columbia, OKC Bombing, 9/11, COVID 19
I was too young when the Challenger happened to remember it (was about to turn 4) but very vividly remember the surroundings for the other ones.
I think one of the problems is the old question
How long is a piece of string !
or today , "how long will this last"
we will be lucky to have the main part over by mid-summer , but some places are saying 12-18 months !
With a gap like that its really hard to get excited today about something so far in the Future , do you wear your mask and stay 6 foot all the time ?
Our lockdown is kind of BS , so many shops are exempt , but London just started a lockdown with very few exemptions and they can arrest you ( I doubt they would put you in a crowded jail )
I am just staying away from people , if I go to the grocery store I wear my N95 mask in the store , and will be working on my house and sorting out my stuff and hopefully making a good pile to get rid of.....
Stay safe , help others and mind the gap !
Feeling a lot of the same feelings here, too. Trying to keep a positive attitude by keeping busy working and cooking. Reminding myself that we are incredibly fortunate in that our business lends itself well to WFH. But missing my kids, who won't come near us because I am immunocompromised and Tim just hit the big 6-0, worrying about how they’re really doing when we're not Facetiming or texting, and worrying about our people and their families who depend on the business remaining strong. Right now I'm just taking it one day at a time. Actually glad to have the burden of 3 meals a day on me--it's a fine distraction.
Stay safe everyone, keep your chins up (or chin if you're weird and only have one). We'll get through this, separately yet together.
Margie
After 12 years my wife and I finally decided we were in a good place to try and have another child both financially and medically. Then bam this stuff happens and until I know what the other side looks like I'm not about to bring another life into this world. I'll be 33 before we have a clue. It's causing us all some issues with our plans but I try to keep positive and busy!
dropstep said:After 12 years my wife and I finally decided we were in a good place to try and have another child both financially and medically. Then bam this stuff happens and until I know what the other side looks like I'm not about to bring another life into this world. I'll be 33 before we have a clue. It's causing us all some issues with our plans but I try to keep positive and busy!
We have our first due in June and not going to lie, this whole thing is freaking me the hell out.
So I will admit that I posted this thread because I felt like it needed to go somewhere and figured I'd just fire it into the ether of off topic just to get it off my chest, and then it would be quickly forgotten. The support from everyone is a very welcome surprise. Thank you guys. It means a lot to me, even I feel like I'm bad at articulating that.
In reply to Daylan C :
I'm disappointed because AC was the only one to text and he didn't even describe his morning poop.
I must admit one of you did text me and I had lost your number, so I had to google your area code to figure out who it was. I narrowed it down pretty well before I remembered to check my other phone.
dropstep said:After 12 years my wife and I finally decided we were in a good place to try and have another child both financially and medically. Then bam this stuff happens and until I know what the other side looks like I'm not about to bring another life into this world. I'll be 33 before we have a clue. It's causing us all some issues with our plans but I try to keep positive and busy!
Just more time to practice then!
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