My parents are 75ish. They live in Philly. I live in Minnesota with their only grandkids. They want to live here in the spring and be near their grand kids. They don't have tons of money so cheap is good. They do have long term care insurance should they need memory care.
Tentative plan:
have them get rid of tons of E36 M3
sell their house I Philly
use pods or similar for moving
Fly to Philly pack up the stuff(hire labor for loading)
Either pay for someone to more my parents cars or rent a truck ans trailer to bring out tbt stuff they want that is not in a pod
they will stay in a basement bedroom at my place until they find an apartment
what should I know that I don't know. I'd rather they be closer to me if they have a medical event then half way across the country.
Older parents are fragile. Use lots of bubble wrap while boxing them up.
For everyone's sanity find the place and move them in bypassing the basement bedroom.
F pods. One 16' pod to move from Knoxville to myself in Michigan is about 1500$. I can easily move everything in it with my kids help into a 800$ uhaul. Plus that's emptying another 10x10 unit.
Echoing what someone else said. Skip the basement bedroom. No matter how much you, your wife, and your parents get along, someone is gonna be pissed off a good amount of the time. I've seen it more than once across other families.
Throw away as much crap as possible. It's easier than you think unless you have a legit hoarder on your hands. This past weekend, we decided to clean up our daughters, age 10 and 12, rooms. We threw away 12 bags of trash. 5 bags of donations. We could probably fill up another 5 bags of donations but ran out of steam for the clothes. I would have never imagined they had that much "trash" in their bedrooms.
Looking into ABF U Pack. They drop off a truck in your driveway. You fill it with as much or as little of the truck as you need. Then they close your section off and then drop it off at someone else's house so they can load their stuff until the truck is full. Takes more time, but sounds like you have time for it.
Good luck. Moving sucks.
Pods are a pretty good way to move but they are not cheap. Their advantage is they will store the pod until your parents find a place to live. Pack it, ship it, and they will warehouse it until you are ready to unload. If you truck it yourself, you have to load it, unload it at a storage unit, and then move it all again when they find a house. Sometimes expensive is money well spent.
As to them living with you for a month or two, I could do it with my parents.
Dave Estey, a member on here, mathed it out and determined that it was cheaper to buy a 24' enclosed trailer, load it, move it, and resell it, than it was to rent pods and have them moved... If being able to haul it is an option, this would be the route I'd take.
Otherwise, just be careful for burnout under the same roof. Privacy is a commodity, and some family dynamics can't handle it, while others thrive on having family *that* close. Either way, a serious talk about boundaries and timelines should be had with everyone, together, well before any boxes are loaded.
Good luck!
docwyte
UltimaDork
11/15/24 10:17 a.m.
So they want to move near you permanently, or just Spring to Fall? If they're going to winter somewhere else, where will that be, move, cost, etc, etc?
In reply to docwyte :
Permanently. They don't have the money to snow bird full time. Maybe they will visit my sister in cali.
Random, but: My wife, younger daughter, and myself have been to all of the lower 48 United States. My older daughter missed our last trip due to work commitments and as a result, she is missing North Dakota and Nebraska to complete the lower 48. We're near Philly. If you consider having someone drive their car(s) out, please shoot me an email. It would give me an excuse to take the older kidlet on the road trip she needs to check the last two boxes.
Otherwise, I second (third, fourth?) the recommendation to not have them living under the same roof for longer than necessary. My MIL and a couple of my SILs have soured relationships due to attempts at this.
My grandmother in Chicago lived in her house and let "Gypsies" in to check her water pressure in the basement and got $2000 stolen (why the cash?)
My dad lived in his house until he fell in his backyard and laid on the ground for 6 hours.
You're doing the right thing - I understand personal freedom and space but sometimes the youngsters need to step up and take this step.
We are dealing with an 88 YO father-in-law and it is stressful. Get the apartment.
The Good DrBoost detailed his 2021 big move with ABF
Lot's of good advice here. I won't go into my personal situation too deep but let's say I executed almost all of the steps in your plan, it stalled at one 6 years ago...
Good on you for making sure your parents are in a position to be involved in you and your kids life.
My piece of advice that I haven't seen here yet is have some very open and honest discussions about short and long term desires, finances, expectations of each other etc etc. I also think it is a gift from a parent to a kid to make sure your stuff is in order; a clear will, a pre-paid funeral, a written obit, an honest assessment of when long term care is needed. All that stuff, you don't want to have to make a fast and emotional decision on any of that stuff.
I've used ABF U-Pack Cubes for a few moves now and really prefer them to 'the big truck' solution. They're easy to get in and out of smaller spaces (think alleys) , they're not hard to fill, lots of tie down spots etc etc.
For help in a flash where I don't know people, hireahelper.com has been useful and I've not had problems BUT I have everything packed and ready to go besides furniture that's hard to move myself. As little packing as possible, they just move the boxes and large items. Amazon is a good source for packing materials; big box stores will cost a lot more, but is there in a pinch. Especially with moving blankets and stuff beyond tape and boxes. And pack everything like it's made of eggshells.
I like the idea of reducing as much stuff as possible before the move and I also know that's much easier said than done. No other advice to share.
New doctors, prescriptions, mail, financial stuff, friends, etc., at the new location, too.
Fueled by Caffeine said:
In reply to docwyte :
Permanently. They don't have the money to snow bird full time. Maybe they will visit my sister in cali.
With the prices of rents and such these days if you guys have a good relationship for such an arrangement, snowbirding the folks between California and the frozen tundra might be enough to make things feel special while they are with you but with enough breaks to keep things from souring.
This is a good spot for a book suggestion.
The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning
The book is very brief and an easy read. I borrowed it from my local library.
https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/what-swedish-death-cleaning-should-you-be-doing-it-ncna816511
Appleseed said:
Older parents are fragile. Use lots of bubble wrap while boxing them up.
and be sure to leave a breathing hole.
In reply to KyAllroad :
I didn't they will make it to California a lot. Despite my sister owning two homes she "dosent have any space"
