My Mother's nursing home just got hit with Covid 19

Is it possible to for us to show some continued empathy and have some compassion for a fellow GRM'er who is dealing with a real threat to the health and well being of a close family member?

A good friend of mine lost his mother to COVID this year. This disease kills people. My mother tested positive for Covid-19  a month ago. I am fortunate that she moved through it wth minimal symptoms. But I completely understand where Snowdoggie is at and what he is feeling. I can overlook things I may not completely agree with because I know the pain and the powerlessness that I felt when faced with a similar situation.  He was there for me with words of empathy solidarity when I needed it.  That is what makes GRM different than so much of the internet

Arguing statistics and telling someone facing the possible loss of close family member that they have a E36 M3ty negative attitude is not the GRM way.

Type Q said:

Is it possible to for us to show some continued empathy and have some compassion for a fellow GRM'er who is dealing with a real threat to the health and well being of a close family member?

A good friend of mine lost his mother to COVID this year. This disease kills people. My mother tested positive for Covid-19  a month ago. I am fortunate that she moved through it wth minimal symptoms. But I completely understand where Snowdoggie is at and what he is feeling. I can overlook things I may not completely agree with because I know the pain and the powerlessness that I felt when faced with a similar situation.  He was there for me with words of empathy solidarity when I needed it.  That is what makes GRM different than so much of the internet

Arguing statistics and telling someone facing the possible loss of close family member that they have a E36 M3ty negative attitude is not the GRM way.

Type Q said:

Is it possible to for us to show some continued empathy and have some compassion for a fellow GRM'er who is dealing with a real threat to the health and well being of a close family member?

A good friend of mine lost his mother to COVID this year. This disease kills people. My mother tested positive for Covid-19  a month ago. I am fortunate that she moved through it wth minimal symptoms. But I completely understand where Snowdoggie is at and what he is feeling. I can overlook things I may not completely agree with because I know the pain and the powerlessness that I felt when faced with a similar situation.  He was there for me with words of empathy solidarity when I needed it.  That is what makes GRM different than so much of the internet

Arguing statistics and telling someone facing the possible loss of close family member that they have a E36 M3ty negative attitude is not the GRM way.

This is what I was gonna post more or less ( spoiler......it was gonna have a lot more FFS than your post though)

In response to the last 3 posts-Yes, this is the way.

To Snowdoggie: I don't know what to say. I feel you? 

It's a E36 M3-ty time. Best wishes to all.

Type Q said:

Arguing statistics and telling someone facing the possible loss of close family member that they have a E36 M3ty negative attitude is not the GRM way.

Since I'm the one that started it, let me try to explain a bit and perhaps put some closure on this mess.

Snowdoggie has apparently been a member here for a long time, but I don't recall any posts until the last few months, and I've taken note of their posts as being pretty "on edge" during that time. Obviously I don't know Snowdoggie to gauge what they'd be like in normal times but they seem really stressed, irritable and unhappy lately. I've noted several times that those are completely understandable emotions considering the situation. I spoke up because these negative posts have stretched out for months now with no real change and I was concerned for their mental state. The hope being that some hard numbers might shine some light on the darkness of current life and give them some reasonable basis for their emotional response rather than relying strictly on emotion fed by the constant influx of gloom and doom from pretty much everywhere.

Being depressed sucks. Feeling like the world is out to get you, or that you're drowning in a sea of E36 M3 sucks. It steals your joy and can literally take your life away. I took some time to post the statistics in hopes that they'd help Snowdoggie (and bearmtnmartin) feel better about their situations by realizing that the situations may not be as dire as they think right now. As I've said multiple times now, I was trying to help out of concern for their mental state. I did it because doing so helped me get a better handle on things a few months ago.

Noting a bad, months-long trend in a complete stranger's mood, and then reaching out and trying to help with some facts based on personal experience seems to square pretty well with "the GRM way" to me. I couldn't watch him struggle any longer without trying to offer some help by pointing to the light at the end of the tunnel. He chose to take it the wrong way but I'll go ahead and wish Snowdoogie and anybody else that's going through a tough time right now the very best, and I'll continue to encourage them to try and realize that no matter how dark it seems right now, life probably isn't as bleak as you think it is. There's light and hope out there. Go burn some gas on a nice road.

Just got another call from the nursing home. Another resident - not employee - resident - just tested positive for COVID in this session of testing. They wouldn't tell me if she was on the same floor. Thinking of the possibility of moving her now but not sure where. Put in a call to my elder care attorney for suggestions. There really isn't anyplace else here. Dallas is a hot spot. The Dallas Morning News has a list of every nursing home in the County with reported infections and her nursing home is NOT on the list even though they seem to have a new infection about every three days now. What's up with that? How accurate is anything in the news anymore? 800 new infections yesterday in Dallas County. They were averaging 200 infections a day back in May when everything was shut down. Media not even covering it. Old news. Numbers don't make sense. 

Going to leave work early and get some pizza. Have my dogs lick my face for a while. Go watch anything on TV BUT the election returns. Maybe take the motorcycle out this weekend. 

Had a long talk with Mrs. Snowdoggie last night. She really is a special lady and really helped me through all this mess. We talked about Mom's dementia. How when I last went to see her she didn't even know who I was. It bothered me a lot. She is probably confused about all the masks and movement going on at the nursing home. Her quality of life probably isn't all that great anymore. In some ways, her brain is already dying. This happened very fast. Three years ago she was still driving a car and going to the grocery store. Now she is pretty much wheelchair bound. Getting infected and dying on a respirator without your loved ones in the room is bad enough, but would she really even know what's going on at this point. Dementia is a horrible disease. She will die soon. I will have to deal with that. Some people her age are still coherent and have a good life. She is unable to go to the bathroom by herself and soils herself more often than not. In the last six months before she moved into the nursing home I had to change her adult diapers often more than twice a day. For the last two years before she moved into the nursing home I would be working billing out more than 40 hours a week and going home to change mom's diapers and feed her. I was managing all of her medication myself and because she was a diabetic I was giving her two shots a day and testing her blood two times a day. I finally bought a fancy blood glucose gadget with my own money that Medicare wouldn't pay for because the time I saved with the gadget got me to work on time. Getting to work on time last year was important because the owner of my firm was a psycho who was strung out on coke and prescription Atavan. Sometimes I would get to work ten minutes late to find our Senior Paralegal locked in her office crying her eyes out while screaming was coming from down the hall. All I could do was go into my office and lock the door. This guy was a holy terror but also owned two Ferraris and a second home in Palm Beach. The pay was good. But the year I spent there probably took five years off my life. About a month after Mom went into the nursing home after a bunch of trips to the emergency room and twice almost dying in the ICU. Once Mom was packed away to the nursing home, Da Boss demanded that I make up all the time I took off taking Mom to multiple doctors at the Geriatric Center at UT Southwest Medical School and to Emergency Rooms and the ICU, or pay back the firm for the time. There were times I would stay up with her at night and drive straight to work from the ER without changing my clothes. 

So then I went from having a full time job and taking care of Mom full time to working long hours and weekends in order to bill the 70 or 80 hours a week to make up the time I lost taking care of mom. I am kind of a workaholic anyway so what the hell. After about two and a half months of this kind of hell, Mr. Boss canned me. The day after he canned me I went to an interview and was hired by another firm right on the spot. I don't know how I aced that interview. I felt like a walking zombie after all I had been through. The new firm pays me even more and treats me very well. I still work there today. 

Then came Covid. Because of the kind of clients we have I was classified as an essential worker and when everybody else was going home, I was still going full bore. 

It's been a wild ride. These last few years. 

Now Mrs. Snowdoggie is really concerned that I am suffering a bit from burnout now. That I really need a rest. But you don't really get a whole lot of vacation time starting at a new firm so here I am working working working. Hey, sometimes working keeps your mind off of other things. That's why when I get off work for the weekend I get out my wrenches and start off on my crazy stupid motorhome project and try to enter model building contests here that I never finish. I am nuts and probably a bit of a basket case now. 

Thanks to all you guys here for your support. This board is like no other. 

Again, thanks. 

In reply to Snowdoggie :

You’re not nuts, you’re human.  No one can do it all forever and it’s sure sounds like you’ve done a lot.  Please see if you can get a break, even a long weekend could be a big help at this point.  

I'm in the backyard playing with my pack of dogs right now. That is relaxing.

Nothing like petting some big furry dogs. It lowers your blood pressure.

Snowdoggie said:

Just got another call from the nursing home. Another resident - not employee - resident - just tested positive for COVID in this session of testing. They wouldn't tell me if she was on the same floor. Thinking of the possibility of moving her now but not sure where. Put in a call to my elder care attorney for suggestions. There really isn't anyplace else here. Dallas is a hot spot. The Dallas Morning News has a list of every nursing home in the County with reported infections and her nursing home is NOT on the list even though they seem to have a new infection about every three days now. What's up with that? How accurate is anything in the news anymore? 800 new infections yesterday in Dallas County. They were averaging 200 infections a day back in May when everything was shut down. Media not even covering it. Old news. Numbers don't make sense. 

Going to leave work early and get some pizza. Have my dogs lick my face for a while. Go watch anything on TV BUT the election returns. Maybe take the motorcycle out this weekend. 

 

Had a long talk with Mrs. Snowdoggie last night. She really is a special lady and really helped me through all this mess. We talked about Mom's dementia. How when I last went to see her she didn't even know who I was. It bothered me a lot. She is probably confused about all the masks and movement going on at the nursing home. Her quality of life probably isn't all that great anymore. In some ways, her brain is already dying. This happened very fast. Three years ago she was still driving a car and going to the grocery store. Now she is pretty much wheelchair bound. Getting infected and dying on a respirator without your loved ones in the room is bad enough, but would she really even know what's going on at this point. Dementia is a horrible disease. She will die soon. I will have to deal with that. Some people her age are still coherent and have a good life. She is unable to go to the bathroom by herself and soils herself more often than not. In the last six months before she moved into the nursing home I had to change her adult diapers often more than twice a day. For the last two years before she moved into the nursing home I would be working billing out more than 40 hours a week and going home to change mom's diapers and feed her. I was managing all of her medication myself and because she was a diabetic I was giving her two shots a day and testing her blood two times a day. I finally bought a fancy blood glucose gadget with my own money that Medicare wouldn't pay for because the time I saved with the gadget got me to work on time. Getting to work on time last year was important because the owner of my firm was a psycho who was strung out on coke and prescription Atavan. Sometimes I would get to work ten minutes late to find our Senior Paralegal locked in her office crying her eyes out while screaming was coming from down the hall. All I could do was go into my office and lock the door. This guy was a holy terror but also owned two Ferraris and a second home in Palm Beach. The pay was good. But the year I spent there probably took five years off my life. About a month after Mom went into the nursing home after a bunch of trips to the emergency room and twice almost dying in the ICU. Once Mom was packed away to the nursing home, Da Boss demanded that I make up all the time I took off taking Mom to multiple doctors at the Geriatric Center at UT Southwest Medical School and to Emergency Rooms and the ICU, or pay back the firm for the time. There were times I would stay up with her at night and drive straight to work from the ER without changing my clothes. 

So then I went from having a full time job and taking care of Mom full time to working long hours and weekends in order to bill the 70 or 80 hours a week to make up the time I lost taking care of mom. I am kind of a workaholic anyway so what the hell. After about two and a half months of this kind of hell, Mr. Boss canned me. The day after he canned me I went to an interview and was hired by another firm right on the spot. I don't know how I aced that interview. I felt like a walking zombie after all I had been through. The new firm pays me even more and treats me very well. I still work there today. 

Then came Covid. Because of the kind of clients we have I was classified as an essential worker and when everybody else was going home, I was still going full bore. 

 

It's been a wild ride. These last few years. 

 

Now Mrs. Snowdoggie is really concerned that I am suffering a bit from burnout now. That I really need a rest. But you don't really get a whole lot of vacation time starting at a new firm so here I am working working working. Hey, sometimes working keeps your mind off of other things. That's why when I get off work for the weekend I get out my wrenches and start off on my crazy stupid motorhome project and try to enter model building contests here that I never finish. I am nuts and probably a bit of a basket case now. 

 

Thanks to all you guys here for your support. This board is like no other. 

 

Again, thanks. 

wow, that's a lot of e63m3 to go through in the last few years.... it must seem like nothing is going right, and then you go and hang out with your dogs and fugheddaboutit for a while and everything seems to disappear. hope all this e63m3 clears up soon and you don't have to "fugheddabout" anything... praying for you and your family. also, second what 11GTCS said. see if you can get some time off and take a break

My dogs have been through some E36 M3 too. Maybe that's why they understand me so well. The pound found Rocky the Alaskan Malamute in the dog park with his front leg broken. My dog rescue group got him out of the pound. The first vet wanted to amputate his front leg which would not be a good thing for a dog that size. Instead my rescue group took him to the Dallas Veterinary Surgical Center, one of the best places of that type in the country. They fixed his broken leg with a rod and plates and screws to the point that he can actually run, not just walk, but run like a normal dog. Now Rocky is 15. He almost died about a month ago but the vet brought him back. He is still a bit shaky from old age, but he really wants to live like no other dog I have ever had.

Cherokee, my Siberian Husky, came from a large puppy mill bust in Collin County about 14 years ago. He spent the first year of his life on a three foot chain in a smelly barn with 30 other dogs. The bust was documented in the Dallas Morning News. He was afraid of people because he had no human contact for the first year of his life. I worked with him a lot but he is still wary of strangers.

Mac the Aussie came from the Dallas Pound on $10 dog day. They begged me not to bring him back because he was already returned once and with a full pound a second return would have put him on the euthanization list. He had a few issues but Mom's home health care nurses loved him. One wanted to take him home. When mom was still at home he would sleep in front of her bed to protect her. Several times when Mom fell, Mac would lie down next to her until somebody came to help. After Mom went to the nursing home I brought Mac to visit and everybody at the nursing home loved him. Those old people would line up to pet him. Those visits stopped during the Covid lockdown.

Dieselboss15 said:

Snowdoggie said:

Just got another call from the nursing home. Another resident - not employee - resident - just tested positive for COVID in this session of testing. They wouldn't tell me if she was on the same floor. Thinking of the possibility of moving her now but not sure where. Put in a call to my elder care attorney for suggestions. There really isn't anyplace else here. Dallas is a hot spot. The Dallas Morning News has a list of every nursing home in the County with reported infections and her nursing home is NOT on the list even though they seem to have a new infection about every three days now. What's up with that? How accurate is anything in the news anymore? 800 new infections yesterday in Dallas County. They were averaging 200 infections a day back in May when everything was shut down. Media not even covering it. Old news. Numbers don't make sense. 

Going to leave work early and get some pizza. Have my dogs lick my face for a while. Go watch anything on TV BUT the election returns. Maybe take the motorcycle out this weekend. 

 

Had a long talk with Mrs. Snowdoggie last night. She really is a special lady and really helped me through all this mess. We talked about Mom's dementia. How when I last went to see her she didn't even know who I was. It bothered me a lot. She is probably confused about all the masks and movement going on at the nursing home. Her quality of life probably isn't all that great anymore. In some ways, her brain is already dying. This happened very fast. Three years ago she was still driving a car and going to the grocery store. Now she is pretty much wheelchair bound. Getting infected and dying on a respirator without your loved ones in the room is bad enough, but would she really even know what's going on at this point. Dementia is a horrible disease. She will die soon. I will have to deal with that. Some people her age are still coherent and have a good life. She is unable to go to the bathroom by herself and soils herself more often than not. In the last six months before she moved into the nursing home I had to change her adult diapers often more than twice a day. For the last two years before she moved into the nursing home I would be working billing out more than 40 hours a week and going home to change mom's diapers and feed her. I was managing all of her medication myself and because she was a diabetic I was giving her two shots a day and testing her blood two times a day. I finally bought a fancy blood glucose gadget with my own money that Medicare wouldn't pay for because the time I saved with the gadget got me to work on time. Getting to work on time last year was important because the owner of my firm was a psycho who was strung out on coke and prescription Atavan. Sometimes I would get to work ten minutes late to find our Senior Paralegal locked in her office crying her eyes out while screaming was coming from down the hall. All I could do was go into my office and lock the door. This guy was a holy terror but also owned two Ferraris and a second home in Palm Beach. The pay was good. But the year I spent there probably took five years off my life. About a month after Mom went into the nursing home after a bunch of trips to the emergency room and twice almost dying in the ICU. Once Mom was packed away to the nursing home, Da Boss demanded that I make up all the time I took off taking Mom to multiple doctors at the Geriatric Center at UT Southwest Medical School and to Emergency Rooms and the ICU, or pay back the firm for the time. There were times I would stay up with her at night and drive straight to work from the ER without changing my clothes. 

So then I went from having a full time job and taking care of Mom full time to working long hours and weekends in order to bill the 70 or 80 hours a week to make up the time I lost taking care of mom. I am kind of a workaholic anyway so what the hell. After about two and a half months of this kind of hell, Mr. Boss canned me. The day after he canned me I went to an interview and was hired by another firm right on the spot. I don't know how I aced that interview. I felt like a walking zombie after all I had been through. The new firm pays me even more and treats me very well. I still work there today. 

Then came Covid. Because of the kind of clients we have I was classified as an essential worker and when everybody else was going home, I was still going full bore. 

 

It's been a wild ride. These last few years. 

 

Now Mrs. Snowdoggie is really concerned that I am suffering a bit from burnout now. That I really need a rest. But you don't really get a whole lot of vacation time starting at a new firm so here I am working working working. Hey, sometimes working keeps your mind off of other things. That's why when I get off work for the weekend I get out my wrenches and start off on my crazy stupid motorhome project and try to enter model building contests here that I never finish. I am nuts and probably a bit of a basket case now. 

 

Thanks to all you guys here for your support. This board is like no other. 

 

Again, thanks. 

wow, that's a lot of e63m3 to go through in the last few years.... it must seem like nothing is going right, and then you go and hang out with your dogs and fugheddaboutit for a while and everything seems to disappear. hope all this e63m3 clears up soon and you don't have to "fugheddabout" anything... praying for you and your family. also, second what 11GTCS said. see if you can get some time off and take a break

Damn.. I wish I could give you a hug.  Take some time for yourself if you can, you of all people deserve it.  You're in my prayers, God bless.

Here we go again.

Another resident at my Mother's nursing home tests positive today. Mom tested negative. 

A secretary at my office tested positive last Tuesday and I was sent home with pay while the place got a Thanksgiving deep cleaning. Everybody in her part of the office is quarantined for 15 days. I was in the part of the building where she wasn't and didn't get exposed. Now I am back at work. 

Musical chairs Covid.

Berk me. 

2122 infections in Dallas County today. Second highest ever.

Rocky the Superdog is still alive after beating what the vet said was a bacteria infection. Not bad for a 15 year old Malamute. Right now his head is in my lap. Spending a lot of time with the dogs lately. 

To recap, Mom is 90 years old, a diabetic and has had heart surgery twice. She ticks every box. The nursing home should get the vaccine by the 14th. Every week they call to tell me somebody else got infected. I hope she makes it til the 14th.

Mrs. Snowdoggie just bought me a new display case for my hot wheels connection and is cooking a pizza. Christmas music is on the stereo. She and the dogs are my greatest fans. They are keeping me sane.

My brain just exploded.

Mom's nursing home just called. I guy I did not recognize speaking in a foreign accent started in about a bunch of residents getting infected today. He was in a panic, like he was on a sinking ship. I asked if my mother was infected. He said he did not know then said a bunch of things I couldn't understand. I know most of the other people there who call me. Every couple of days they call in a calm, professional manner and tell me that an employee or a resident was infected but that my mother was still testing negative. These calls have been coming a lot more frequently, about once every three days, but I have never in all my dealings with this nursing home got a call like this before. I just pulled off to the side of the road. Has that place gone insane? In the last few weeks I have called them about billing and other issues and I always get somebody who is too busy to talk and promises to get back to me are always ignored. The place seems to be falling apart.

I am just sitting here parked on the side of the road staring into space.

Berk me. Mom is probably dead or dying in this hell hole.

How do you even plan a funeral with this crap going on? I had trouble getting my dog cremated in May.

Hopefully the call was just part of a broadcast message and not a targeted list. The guy calling may not have any real information and just be making a large number of calls and getting his information from a generic script. 

My suggestion would be to gather your thoughts, formulate the questions you want to ask, and then call them back.

That way you are able to ask the questions you want answered and have more control over the conversation. 

I think they are running out of employees. I called back and got dumped into voicemail. Nobody there is going to talk to me right now.

Called again. Got voicemailed again. Probably not going to find anything out until calling the day nurse tomorrow. 

I don't know any way for you to calm your brain down and sleep, but I'm crossing my fingers that you figure out how. 

In reply to mazdeuce - Seth :

One of my dogs is climbing on my lap right now. He knows when I am upset. My dog pack calms me down.

Sorry, all I can offer:

“Lord, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

I'm so sorry. Hopefully you get better info in the morning.

Snowdoggie said:

How do you even plan a funeral with this crap going on? I had trouble getting my dog cremated in May.

Please don't.  There is no funeral to plan.  She's not dead.  You don't even know if she is sick.

I know you are upset and scared, and I know how it feels.  I lost my father a few months ago and was never able to have a funeral.

But for now, your mother is very much alive.  Focus on loving her.  Take it one day at a time.  Don't stress about the things you can not control or the things that have not happened yet.  It compromises your ability to love on her today.

SVreX (Forum Supporter) said:

Snowdoggie said:

How do you even plan a funeral with this crap going on? I had trouble getting my dog cremated in May.

Please don't.  There is no funeral to plan.  She's not dead.  You don't even know if she is sick.

I know you are upset and scared, and I know how it feels.  I lost my father a few months ago and was never able to have a funeral.

But for now, your mother is very much alive.  Focus on loving her.  Take it one day at a time.  Don't stress about the things you can not control or the things that have not happened yet.  It compromises your ability to love on her today.

 

Loving her? I can't even get in to see her. I have seen her once since May and that was from a distance of eight feet in the parking lot next to the nursing home, and with her dementia she didn't even recognize me. We were both wearing masks as was the guy from the nursing home that was making sure we were keeping safe distance.

You don't have to be in the room to be loving her. 
 

Any new info?