My neighbours who express their appreciation of me in ways I don't immediately recognise

xflowgolf wrote: do you have to wear skull and crossbones wrist bands though?

You'd be so badass with that ink you could wear hello kitty wrist bands and still pull it off

Datsun1500 wrote: In reply to novaderrik: Just out of curiosity, what did the recorded plat say? Were the lines on the recorded records correct and the issue was everyone thought the line was 50 feet over? I'm asking for the OP because it does not matter what any survey says, just what's on the official file. If the official plat says it's his driveway, it's his driveway.

if I remember my surveying, and Co. Land Records days … the deed takes precedence over any drawing … whether it's the plat drawn up by the surveyors or even the land records/tax office

bluej wrote: In reply to SilverFleet: I have to think it would be worth checking if the marker in your driveway is just a reference or not. You should be able to tell by looking at the survey. I think it's likely that the corner of the property line is defined as being (x)' along a chord from that reference marker towards another reference marker, not by the marker itself. Is the marker in the middle near the end of the driveway? Don't you need to make the trip to get the plots and such for the backyard, anyways?

This is what I was getting at and you can check without hiring a surveyor. Mr Jones is correct, the deed controls (at least in NC). Their lot once being part of yours gives a greater potential that they are wrong, especially if your house/driveway is older than theirs (adverse possession). Since you now know this issue exists, you must disclose it, if you decide to sell. I'd rather spend $3k+ (if I had it) on other stuff, but this is something that will bite you later (if the neighbors are right). It's very difficult to sell a property when the driveway is on someone else's land. In my case, the overlap is on an unbuildable section of our lots so, if necessary, my neighbor and I have agreed to a boundary line agreement that favors my survey, since my lot was cut off from theirs. As for the wetland issue, that's above my pay scale.

Back to fun stuff to tick off the annoying neighbors.

I'm pretty sure I've pissed off the neighbors across the street. I've been too busy with work and studying to mow the grass on a timely manner. Plus, my MX6 has been in the driveway on jack stands for a couple of months now. Plus, their house is immaculate, mine is not. We are slowly cleaning up the outside and the yard. The people before us did nothing for 6 years besides poorly paint the house.

I could be wrong, they may be happy I'm there, because I'm an improvement over the last people to live in our house.

It's taken me years to understand the oddity of it all.

Three years ago, bully neighbour was trying to trap me with my own words. This was the conversation where I told him all he ever did was criticize and complain.

He gave me full permission to complain about anything he did. I said I can't think of anything he would do that I would complain about.

He said "What if I mowed my lawn when you had company over?"

I said "people mow lawns. I don't complain when you mow your lawn, or when they (motioning to another residence) mow their lawn, or when they (yet another) mow their lawn, and I don't complain when the golf course mows their lawn past my open bedroom window at 5 in the morning. Mowing lawns is part of life."

"What if I mowed the lawn for two hours?" he asked. I thought about it and said "well, at some point you would be done, so no, I would not complain."

It was later I realized he brought this specific instance up because years before, I had mowed the lawn for two hours when he had company over. Darn me for having such a third of an acre or lawn and a weak-ass mower.

Later during the conversation he had told me that was intending to replace the roof on his shed.

"So?" I said.

"Well, then you don't have to look at it."

"I don't care" says I.

"But you won't have to see the ratty looking roof."

"I really don't care. .I.do.not.care. what you do with your property."

He seemed confused.

At that time, I was only under the impression that he was just fastidious about yard maintenance. Me - not so much, and that was what pissed him off. Today, it is far more clear to me. Eye-opening to believe the next neighbour over (friends with bully) is trying to run us out of the neighbourhood.

My wife and I have chatted and we are both of the opinion that we are going to dig in our heels.

I run through potential conversations through my head, and none of them will end pretty. Since I don't want to be a shiny happy person, and since telling them to berkeley off doesn't present well since they know we are Christians, all I intend to do is:

1) Be polite, smile, nod, and/or wave (this is nothing new)

2) Not engage in conversation at all (this is nothing new, and has been the best)

3) Not do anything they want (been doing for years; it's kind of fun - That pisses off bullies something fierce, and yet, in itself, is a form of bullying)

In the in-law's neighbourhood, you hear people doing yard work, or circular saws from people building something, or kids playing, or whaetever. There is LIFE in their cul-de-sac.

Our cul-de-sac is "dead." There is NO sound. Well, except for me. Because I'm apparently the neighbourhood antichrist or something.

I just shake my head.

I appreciate the comments you all have offered. Helps me see I'm not alone. It doesn't fix anything, but it puts a bit more wind in my sails to keep smiling through this.

Hopefully they're in their golden years and you can just wait them out.

I would ignore the neighbor.

If they insist on talking about it.. try "are you really going to be perpetually irritated with me because my grass grew to the point of needing cut, in conflict with your visitors arrival? Or that my house didn't get painted to your liking, or trees cut the way you wish they would... These are things that are 100% my business on my property, yet they seem to be the sticking point that prevents us having a decent neighborly relationship. I do my best to be civil, but you are nothing but irritated, always, regardless of my attempts to be civil.. So what incentive do I have to be pleasant? I don't like being a jerk, but you have actually led me to dislike you out of frustration caused by YOUR spite. It's not worth it to me, but I'm willing to continue if you insist. Finally: I'm not going to consult you about tree trimming, or home improvement projects, and you can either like it or not like it".

I purpose to ignore the neighbour, other than a polite wave upon eye contact coming or going.

Weenie will likely approach me again in future for whatever reason, much like he did with the surveyor. My intended response will be "I am not interested in conversation." No reason, no excuses. Done.

Today I could only find time to mow the lawn from 5pm to 6pm (one hour; newer mower now, eh?!). Life is rough.

After 5 or so pages, well....

I like your approach.

But wanted to "vent" some replies- to the request that you need to trim your tress so they can see through your yard- "I don't want to see into yours + I want some privacy."

For the decorating (paint, yard design, etc) - "the design is for us, since it's our house, we like it".

But really, just letting it go, and letting them stew is more productive to you- which is important. I have a neighbor who never does anything to her yard- I even used to cut it every once in a while to prevent weeds in my yard. Never complained, just did. Stopped just because. Other neighbors vented about my neighbor to me- yea, whatever. Even my wife has- but over time, she's just let it go, too. Now that she's getting married- her new wife seems to start some fresh work in the yard- good for all of us.

I KNOW she's not a bad person- we talk, she's nice, etc. And since we share a driveway, I've been snow blowing it forever. She thanks me every time, and this past year gave us a bottle of wine. Good, bad, vinegar- does not matter- I KNOW it means something to her that I clean the driveway. I'm fine with that.

(I also make a run up and down the block on the sidewalk when the snow is heavy- it's not that much gas I use)

If your neighbors pop a gasket, that's their problem, not yours. It's your house, your property, etc.

As for the survey, it would be good to get a copy of the deed for yourself. From the official city or county location. You also have some back up- besides the bank, you probably signed the documents in a title company- they also have interest in the process.

Anyway, good luck, be happy. that's all that really matters in the end.

Yeah, I would just ignore and throw a wave once in a while if you make eye contact. That's it.

In my situation, that's pretty much what we have started doing. They believe that we are evil because we are young, inexperienced in home ownership, and that automatically means that we are irreverent noise making, party-throwing jerks. They think that since we have a dog that we are just like the people two houses down from us that leave their loud, barking dog out at all hours of the day and night (our dog is only out when we are, and she barely barks unless we are playing). They think that since I have car projects, I will be like some former inhabitants that will rev loud, unmuffled engines past 2AM for fun.

Well, berkeley them! THEY are the jerks judging everyone unfairly.

Did I mention that I met a former inhabitant of my house (working the desk at the scrapyard of all places) that used to rent the place? She was very nice and down to earth. The first thing she asked me was "How are your neighbors in the brown house to the right?" She then told me of the war they had with them for years over everything from planting shrubs to having family BBQ's to him telling her how to raise her kids. It's nice having validation that we are not the people causing the problems.

I think what bothers them the most is that they can't do anything about it. If you had an HOA, I guaran-damn-tee they would be in charge of it.

I seriously would just stop listening to anything they have to say. When they come to your door, close it in their face. When they approach you on your property just tell them to leave before they can utter the first word.

Datsun1500 wrote:

ScreaminE wrote: I think what bothers them the most is that they can't do anything about it. If you had an HOA, I guaran-damn-tee they would be in charge of it.

You gotta love the ones that feel the need to be in charge of the HOA and rule others based on that. My old neighborhood had that guy, and he was in charge of the HOA. He complained about everything and would leave notices on doors about the "violations". He put new windows in his entire house right before he sold it. A few people noticed that they were not "compliant" windows as they were going in, but did not say anything. Right before settlement he got a notice that the house can not be sold without disclosing that the windows need to be replaced with the correct ones within 30 days at the homeowners expense. He had to replace them again at his expense in order to not blow the deal, It was $20k to replace the ones he spent $25k on 60 days before. He was a little angry.

That's BRILLIANT.

Datsun1500 wrote:

ScreaminE wrote: I think what bothers them the most is that they can't do anything about it. If you had an HOA, I guaran-damn-tee they would be in charge of it.

You gotta love the ones that feel the need to be in charge of the HOA and rule others based on that. My old neighborhood had that guy, and he was in charge of the HOA. He complained about everything and would leave notices on doors about the "violations". He put new windows in his entire house right before he sold it. A few people noticed that they were not "compliant" windows as they were going in, but did not say anything. Right before settlement he got a notice that the house can not be sold without disclosing that the windows need to be replaced with the correct ones within 30 days at the homeowners expense. He had to replace them again at his expense in order to not blow the deal, It was $20k to replace the ones he spent $25k on 60 days before. He was a little angry.

I love it ….

Yet another reason I'll never be subjected to an HOA. My little story: my ex m-i-l wanted a storm door, the HOA said it had to be full view, i.e. no half metal doors. So she picked out a nice one, glass top and bottom, which had an upper panel that could be lowered and when it was a screen unrolled from the top. Nice piece, well made, looked great. I put it up.

Two months later she gets a letter from the HOA saying her door is not compliant because there's a bar across the middle where the two sections overlap. they fired letters back and forth, finally I took the damn thing back down and stored it in her garage.

Roughly a year goes by, she formulates a plan. She sends an application to the HOA including a picture of her door and its part number, asking if that door was compliant. She gets a letter back saying yes it is. Whammo, the door goes back up!

HOA= Herd Of A-holes?

My solution when I lived in an HOA was to join the board. It was no problem getting upgrades/work approved when you can sign it off yourself

There was the girl who came in our shop with a letter from her HOA saying she had to fix the 'rust leak' from her car or be fined...

drainoil wrote: One of my immediate neighbors are nice but they are always home, both the guy and gal. They have jobs and don't work from home but yet they are always home day and night. The other side is the shiny happy Mormons. The wife is the worst. She is a stay at home mom, June Cleaver type, even much worse. She's made personally disparaging comments about my children, complained to me about neighbors across the street who she knows I'm friends with. Hubby is nice but she is clearly the dominant of the two he hardly ever comes outside. Except for one, all their kids are foul mouthed bullies in training. A few years ago my wife was out mowing the lawn and accidently mowed a few inches into her property. She immediately came barn storming out of her house (in her grandma Walton robe as my wife described it) and sternly told my wife not to mow on her side of the property line. The last was when she made my youngest daughter, who was 6 at the time, cry because she told her to her face (when I wasn't home but my wife was) that she wasn't inviting her to (her same age) daughters birthday party because they had enough people coming as it was. I later found out it was because we aren't Mormon. After that she subtly tried to convert us to Mormonism. It didn't work. She can't figure out why I won't give her the time of day.

Let me just say, that as a Mormon, and a decent member of both the GRM community and my own neighborhood, this is not typical behavior among "our kind". Some people are just jerks, no matter what they practice on Sunday (or Saturday, or whenever). I'm just sorry that the ones in your sphere happen to be severely misrepresenting a group that is generally well-respected and liked.

Luckily, I'm in a good neighbor situation right now (professional motorcycle mechanic to one side and all-around good folks to the other, and across the street a guy with supercharged classic Ford pickup and next to him some dirtbike/street bike stunt riders). But, we had a landlord a few years ago that decided to rent out the one-bedroom mother-in-law apartment over our detached garage. Making a long story short, the apartment renter started complaining about our dog (which we had permission to have) and some other situations and the landlord started giving preferential treatment to her (even though we were paying 3x the rent she was and taking care of the whole property).

We got the last laugh, however. When we moved in, we never signed a lease because it was a friend of a friend who got us in the house. We got fed up with the situation, found a new place to live and left without any notice. I called the landlord as we were pulling out of the driveway and told him that I left the house keys in the mailbox; canceled the garbage, cable, internet, water, and electricity (which were all on one bill for the whole property and the landlord was making us "work it out" with the apartment renter) and put locks on the utilities after shutting them off and "lost" the keys. That felt good.