My next million $ idea with... BACON!

My wife is pretty committed to keeping me healthy, and that means no real bacon, only the imitation turkey stuff.

I don't mind the taste- I've come to like it. But where's the crunch? You can't get the stuff crispy, and I LOVE my bacon a little crispy. Mushy bacon just doesn't cut it.

So today, my wife was making bacon and I asked her- any way to make this stuff a little crispier? She said it was pretty much impossible, because the crispiness is from the fat- no fat, no crispy. But she also admitted that SHE likes it crispy too!

Hmmm....

So, I got to thinking... there has GOT to be some kind of potion, or sauce, or chemical, or something that you could pour on the stuff when cooking it to make it crisp up. Of course, she pointed out that you'd essentially be pouring fat on the bacon which would negate the whole point. But, of course, that wouldn't stop me. What she doesn't know won't hurt her (even if it is slowly clogging her arteries).

I'm pretty sure you could package this stuff and market it to men to dump into their wife's turkey bacon when they are not looking. The best part, aside from the wives not knowing, is that it would once again taste awesome, and as long as she knew nothing about it, the wife would think she had created the PERFECT way to cook turkey bacon (since she actually likes the taste too!)

It's a complete win/win. Men would get tasty bacon while wives across America thought they were not only keeping everyone healthy, but also convinced that they were great cooks! What could be better??

When I was dating my southern heritage wife; her mom had a can on the stove that I was unfamiliar with. I asked and found out they saved bacon grease to cook with. Coming from a mother that wouldn't allow a salt shaker on the table in the quest for better health; I was blown away..........

You could try completely immersing the turkey bacon in real bacon fat, then frying as usual. Or, start with several tablespoons of bacon grease in the pan and fry the ersatz bacon in it.

What you want is lard. Pure chunk free piggy fat

SVreX wrote: So today, my wife was making bacon...

Is that what you guys call it?

We make tofurky bacon here (my wife is a Vegan) and I can get it to crisp up a little with some olive oil in the pan. Might be worth a shot.

Cook it on a foreman grill. When I did px90 that's how I cooked it. I still hated it but it was a lot better. I haven't had real bacon in about 9 years so my advise kind of sucks on this topic.

I have a different facon question. In some parts of NYC it is impossible to get real bacon on a sandwich due to the store owner's religious beliefs. In it's place is "just as good" turkey bacon. This led to a debate the other day about weather or not turkey bacon is really allowable under religious rules. It seems like a back door way to sneak in a product that your good book has forbiden. The intent is to eat yummy bacon, but without that satanic crispiness. Somewhat similar to how in some circles sexting with many young women is ok as long as you don't actually have sex with them.

SVreX wrote: My wife is pretty committed to keeping me healthy, and that means no real bacon, only the imitation turkey stuff.

Take a look at the nutrition facts on the the turkey bacon and compare it to the real stuff at the store. That 50% less fat on the package is BS. The serving size on turkey bacon is one slice and on the farmland pork bacon is 2 slices. Plus turkey bacon and regular bacon have the same amount of calories, and turkey bacon has twice the sodium.

Mrs. Ditchdigger was recently put on a sodium restricted diet and we have been reading a lot of labels and shocked at what we are seeing, but the turkey bacon thing blew me away. It is a total scam. Useful if you avoid eating things with 4 legs I guess.

I save bacon fat and even spicy sausage fat for cooking with. I use a straining device similar to the one hotlinked above, but then I freeze it in ice cube trays for later. Yummy yummy bacon fat. i bet that turkey bacon will crisp up nicely in some bacon fat.

ditchdigger wrote:

SVreX wrote: My wife is pretty committed to keeping me healthy, and that means no real bacon, only the imitation turkey stuff.

Take a look at the nutrition facts on the the turkey bacon and compare it to the real stuff at the store. That 50% less fat on the package is BS. The serving size on turkey bacon is one slice and on the farmland pork bacon is 2 slices. Plus turkey bacon and regular bacon have the same amount of calories, and turkey bacon has twice the sodium. Mrs. Ditchdigger was recently put on a sodium restricted diet and we have been reading a lot of labels and shocked at what we are seeing, but the turkey bacon thing blew me away. It is a total scam. Useful if you avoid eating things with 4 legs I guess.

Agreed. They're so close health wise that the turkey bacon is a false economy. Back to regular bacon, my friend!

Wally wrote: I have a different facon question. In some parts of NYC it is impossible to get real bacon on a sandwich due to the store owner's religious beliefs. In it's place is "just as good" turkey bacon. This led to a debate the other day about weather or not turkey bacon is really allowable under religious rules. It seems like a back door way to sneak in a product that your good book has forbiden. The intent is to eat yummy bacon, but without that satanic crispiness. Somewhat similar to how in some circles sexting with many young women is ok as long as you don't actually have sex with them.

Take it for what it's worth.

I think the reason you cant get real bacon is because they would need to have 2 kitchens pretty much to cook it in a kosher restaurant. You would need to add another dishwasher and stove and plates and yada yada. just a ton of stuff no one wants to deal with. I'm not Jewish I just have lived with one forever. It's not a back door way to sneak in a product. Its expressly stated that Jewish people are not to eat swine. As far as I know it does not mention turkey. I will tell you though that kosher food and kosher meat especially is so much better in general.

I was really excited when I saw this.......

What if you brushed on a bit of honey? I'd think that would caramelize and give you a kind of crispiness.

Or you could fry it up in a couple tablespoons of olive oil.

Wally wrote: The intent is to eat yummy bacon,

the only problem with that is the use of the word yummy ( when referring to turkey anything ) in the same sentence as bacon...

the correct word would be YECK

When my wife was younger, they used to spread bacon fat, with a little parsley, on rye bread. We have always had the old can full of bacon fat under the sink.

SVreX wrote: My wife is pretty committed to keeping me healthy, and that means no real bacon, only the imitation turkey stuff.

If you're eating any processed meats, you're hardly eating healthy.

why not just eat real bacon and be done with it?

BLTs w/ real bacon. The healthy lettuce and tomato will cancel out the bacon fat. It's all good.

Zomby woof wrote: When my wife was younger, they used to spread bacon fat, with a little parsley, on rye bread. We have always had the old can full of bacon fat under the sink.

SVreX wrote: My wife is pretty committed to keeping me healthy, and that means no real bacon, only the imitation turkey stuff.

If you're eating any processed meats, you're hardly eating healthy.

I certainly didn't mean to imply any REAL health benefit.

The primary health benefit is that Mrs. SVreX is happy with what I am eating.

If Momma ain't happy, nobody's happy.

I'm OK with the illusion.

Well, you would be if it was crispy

I'm with others, turkey bacon is not really appreciably better than real. If you're concerned about processing, organic bacon is pretty awesome. Might I recommend Schenker Farms. It's, quite literally, the best bacon I've eaten in my life.

BAMF wrote: I'm with others, turkey bacon is not really appreciably better than real. If you're concerned about processing, organic bacon is pretty awesome. Might I recommend Schenker Farms. It's, quite literally, the best bacon I've eaten in my life.

I'm going to try theirs .... so far the absolute best ever bacon I've had was wild boar bacon... just not as easily come by as schenkerfarms

I'm likely to be ostracized, but we eat turkey bacon as well.

Wife throws it in the microwave and it crisps right up.

My wife brings home thick sliced applewood smoked peppered bacon, the outside is pounded with crunchy course ground pepper. Mmmmmm....

Can't you barter? Honey, let me have real bacon and I'll cut the crust off my bread or something.

Dan

wbjones wrote:

BAMF wrote: I'm with others, turkey bacon is not really appreciably better than real. If you're concerned about processing, organic bacon is pretty awesome. Might I recommend Schenker Farms. It's, quite literally, the best bacon I've eaten in my life.

I'm going to try theirs .... so far the absolute best ever bacon I've had was wild boar bacon... just not as easily come by as schenkerfarms

Wild boar bacon? Oh hell yeah! I imagine that beats any domestic pork.