My plan has been uncovered

Yesterday I was in a bus stop waiting to look at a bus. A small group of women who were visiting the city for the week asked me for directions. I circled a few things on their map and wrote down what buses/trains to take different places. After they left an elderly woman complained to me that I only did that because they were young and attractive.
They were young compared to Ma Kettle, they were probably about my Mom's age.
I looked shocked that she had found me out and told her that it was a part of my nefarious plan, where I give a group of woman directions and they are so impressed by my map reading skills that they drag me back to their room and have their way with me for the rest of the week. She looked absolutely disgusted. It looks like I have another complaint to add to my folder.

I had a guy come into the service drive Friday. We were a bit slammed. He asked to have his tire pressures checked because the light was on. I pulled out my gauge and started at the left front and worked my way back to the left rear and then right rear. All three were at 35PSI. I told my porter to take it to tech "C" and have him check the RF for a nail. The customer could not believe that I could possibly be right that there could be a nail in the right front without checking the air pressure. I was accused of setting him up when the tech actually FOUND a nail and wanted to repair it. I informed the customer that he was correct, I searched out his car on my lunch hour and hammered the nail into his tire and waited for him to bring the car in for the tire light because we are the only place that would be open on a friday in the entire metro Detroit area.

I think I may have a complaint coming as well.

I'd tell you my stories, but i'd have to kill you afterwards.

you really wanna have some fun that youre also totally off the hook for? if you see some whackjob going off on the poor minimum wage goon at the video store or burger joint for some stupid pointless minutia, call them out. give them a dose of their own medicine. if youre just another customer, what can they do? fill out a comment card on you? ive had managers of places so happy that i said what they couldnt, ive gotten free dinners and such. plus having had those jobs before, and had to take it from some douche because there was too much extra mustard when they asked for double extra mustard, its just that much more rewarding.

I won a game of Pictionary Man over the weekend and was accused of memorizing the answers in advance. Huh? There are 2000 possible questions and you have to rely on someone else to draw! Sore losers.

Did all the directions lead them to your house? Because that would be nefarious.

And brilliant.

my favorite was always "can you check out my car, i had to get the car jumped today" me: "if it starts on a jump, and runs fine, its going to be the battery" "um, i think its the starter, since it wouldn't start"

well you tell me, then, since you came in here and asked me what's wrong with your car, now you're going to argue with me?

doctor: i think you better come to the hospital for an examination.

happy gillmore: no, im gonna finish the game

doctor: sure fine, what do i know, i only went to college for 12 years. do whatever you want!

Strizzo wrote: my favorite was always "can you check out my car, i had to get the car jumped today" me: "if it starts on a jump, and runs fine, its going to be the battery" "um, i think its the starter, since it wouldn't start" well you tell me, then, since you came in here and asked me what's wrong with your car, now you're going to argue with me?

I love that.

I've worked I.T. support for years. Had a guy call up and describe his problem. I told him the fix. I know the fix because it's the only cause of the problem he described. It used to happen quite a bit with older Windows domains.

The guy then tells me "That can't be it."

My response:

"Oh. OK then. Why don't you tell me how to fix your problem? Obviously you're an expert. I'm considered an expert by our company but you know more than I do as you just told me what the problem is not. So, how are you going to fix this?"

He stuttered a bit and then said "I'm not going to argue with you about this."

"You already are arguing with me about this. I let you know what I think the fix is and you said I was wrong. Most would consider that an argument."

Fun times. Later found out my diagnosis was right.

This thread reminded me of this:

(my car needs an alternator) http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7452561/?ref=nf

Strizzo wrote: well you tell me, then, since you came in here and asked me what's wrong with your car, now you're going to argue with me?

That is like yesterday when I went to help my sister buy a TV. "I researched these things and I know what I am talking about"

That is great, but you did a poor job and no you don't

Xceler8x wrote:

Strizzo wrote: my favorite was always "can you check out my car, i had to get the car jumped today" me: "if it starts on a jump, and runs fine, its going to be the battery" "um, i think its the starter, since it wouldn't start" well you tell me, then, since you came in here and asked me what's wrong with your car, now you're going to argue with me?

I love that. I've worked I.T. support for years. Had a guy call up and describe his problem. I told him the fix. I *know* the fix because it's the only cause of the problem he described. It used to happen quite a bit with older Windows domains. The guy then tells me "That can't be it." My response: "Oh. OK then. Why don't you tell me how to fix your problem? Obviously you're an expert. I'm considered an expert by our company but you know more than I do as you just told me what the problem is not. So, how are you going to fix this?" He stuttered a bit and then said "I'm not going to argue with you about this." "You already are arguing with me about this. I let you know what I think the fix is and you said I was wrong. Most would consider that an argument." Fun times. Later found out my diagnosis was right.

The problem with your example is that there are many times that the person on the phone tells you to do 5 things that you have already done, which didn't help, and were in the initial report that something was wrong.

IMHO, there are about 5x as many people in IT who know something vs the ones that really do. And those are the ones who screw things up worse than they are. There was a time where I would get an upgrade from an IT person, and they wouldn't ever understand why me and my office mates would make fun of them..... Until they figured out that, once again, they broke our computers.

If the one person came to do the work- all would be well. Too bad that one person had to cover so many thousands of computers.

In reply to Streetwiseguy:

Awesome!

I had an electronic controlled washer dryer combo (not a stackable...one machine. you put in dirty laundry and get clean, dry laundry out several hours later).

It had a problem and was under warranty. If you want it fixed under warranty, you call a hotline where a guy with an Indian accent tells you his name is "Lou" or "Roger" or something. Guy asks me three questions (obviously off a logic tree type chart) and tells me he's pinpointed the problem, will ship the parts to the local fixxer-guy, and in a week or so, my machine will work.

"Yeah...but that's not the problem," I said.

He felt like a lot of you in this thread feld...except, he wasn't right. I tried to explain to him that his questions were flawed.

I wouldn't have cared if it didn't mean waiting a week to find out it didn't fix the prolem and then waiting ANOTHER week or more to have them send the RIGHT parts and get it fixed...all the time without being able to wash clothes at home.

But...that's how it had to go. Live and learn.

Clem

ClemSparks wrote: I had an electronic controlled washer dryer combo (not a stackable...one machine. you put in dirty laundry and get clean, dry laundry out several hours later).

Tell me more about this magic machine!

In reply to Streetwiseguy:

best comic ever!

This all reminds me of a problem I had with my AT&T DSL over the summer........

All of a sudden things just start acting weird. My work laptop keeps losing its VPN connection, sending mail just doesn't send. I do a speed test and while my downlink speed is within spec, I have like maybe 15k of upload......worse than a 28.8k modem.

So I call AT&T and try to explain this to them. They put me on hold, do "diagnostics" and tell me that the line is fine. I tell them that the line is indeed NOT fine if I can't upload anything. They send the ticket up a level...same thing. They say that they can send someone out but it's gonna cost me if the guy steps one foot in the house. I agree, send the guy....

So next day tech guy calls and says he will start looking over all the stuff between my house and the POP. That all checks out. He comes to the house, checks the line into the house -- seems fine. He says he wants to come in the house and see what is going on....even after I tell him what I've been saying all along -- that my ADSL is being extremely asymmetric. I show him the computer, he does the exact same berkeleying speed test I did when I diagnosed the problem! He then utters those famous words used by every IT guy....

"Oh..."

I think the "Oh...." means I don't have to pay em for coming into the house and confirming what I have been saying all along.

So he starts calling and IM'ing people at AT&T. He gets one of his coworkers who tells him to call another guy who saw this problem last week. Basically there was some piece of network hardware that was slowly dying one port at a time.......and they didn't want to move customers off of it for some strange reason. Geeesh I love IT tribal knowledge

The whole time I keep thinking to myself -- why no one wanna lissen to what I'm sayin'? Seems like we don't encourage thinking or listening anymore. All the worker bees want to do is just stick to the script.........customer says something, sounds like connection is slow, I better check da connection.......da download connection!

racinginc215 wrote: I had my burner control go out on my hot water heater under warranty. I called the 800 number and had no hopes at all of getting what i needed. I was shocked as hell when I got this guy and said Burner control is toast. gimme your model number. he starts clicking away and then says ok just had the items pulled for shipping you should have it by Wed this was Monday. He basically sent me everything that could go wrong. burner control new propane orifice gas valve new burner new magnesium rod for the center and then this odd looking filter contraption for the bottom of the tank. total cost to me 0.00 and I got it on Tuesday. Same guy calls Tuesday after the parts were delivered and asked if I wanted a tech to come out and install all of it. I passed on that did it myself and 3 days later got an Identical box from UPS with all the same parts. with a note that said you only have 6 months left on the warranty this should get you through.

Why can't more tech support be this helpful?

I've also experienced the other side of it. As an insurance claims person (yes, i'd consider myself an expert, considering I've trained most of upper management myself) I realize that insurance is confusing. I further realize that I don't want you on my phone anymore than you want to be on my phone. Additionally, yelling and pissing and moaning about how you had to wait 3 hours (no you didn't, I have caller ID- and access to all of our hold times) or how insurance is evil (then why the hell are you calling the devil to pay this?) isn't going to get you anywhere. I swear, there's an (unfortunate) reason that tech/phone support of any kind has gone to hell. It's because no one with any skill wants to do the job anymore because people are shiny happy people, and the people with no skills are the only ones that take the jobs for the meager wages we all offer.

As a result- to this day- I refuse to call tech support of any kind- unless I know they're local. Otherwise, I've made good friends with several computer nerds, car nerds and every other kinda nerd, and I call them when I need help.

In reply to orphancars:

yep...same issue with my cable company. Apparently Im in an annexed part of their network that used to be owned by a company they bought out. Turns out the old network doesnt always play fair with the new network, and the net result is occasional loss of on demand features (which I pay extra for). I had tech after tech come out and tell me the same thing...its the old network vs the new one and the new one wins. We are working on it, but dont hold your breath. One of the techs told me that he lived nearby and also had the same problems I was having, and that there just want much that could be done. A few tried some tricks and theories, with varied and dismal results. Finally after the 10th or 11th time this issue cropped up in a 2 month span, I called the customer care number and asked for a refund for my premium services I wasnt getting, or I would be canceling. The lady told me there was no problem, and she would have a tech come out in the next 3 days. I asked to speak to her manager. That was met with some guff, but eventually I got the boss. She tried the same tactic "we will have someone right out". I told her what the tech told me and she basically called me a liar. I asked her how fast she could have my service cancelled. long story short, I still have that issue, but dont pay for the premium that Im still getting (well at least about 70% of the time anyway).

Thats the problems the cable company gives me with my cable service. Who wants to hear my problems with their interw3bz?...

Osterkraut wrote:

ClemSparks wrote: I had an electronic controlled washer dryer combo (not a stackable...one machine. you put in dirty laundry and get clean, dry laundry out several hours later).

Tell me more about this magic machine!

Some friends and I rented an apartment for a week in Rome once that had one of those! It was awesome! I couldn't tell you where to get one in this country though. Ever since then, I've always wondered why you never see them here.

In reply to Pumpkin Escobar:

Its stories like this that keep me on Cincinnati Bell for DSL instead of Time Warner. I consider it picking the lesser of two evils.

16vCorey wrote: Some friends and I rented an apartment for a week in Rome once that had one of those! It was awesome! I couldn't tell you where to get one in this country though. Ever since then, I've always wondered why you never see them here.

Europeans were never the best with electronics. Might have to do with the whole "heating element vs water". Not saying they aren't safe, but the idea just seems awfully peculiar to me.

HiTempguy wrote: Europeans were never the best with electronics. Might have to do with the whole "heating element vs water". Not saying they aren't safe, but the idea just seems awfully peculiar to me.

I'm going to ignore the first sentence, otherwise I might have to consider it insulting .

It's actually not that peculiar an idea if you keep in mind that a lot of apartments or houses in Europe don't assign the same amount of space to a 'laundry room' as you find in a house in the US. In most places, you have space for a washer in the kitchen or bathroom and that is it. Actually in the larger apartment blocks in Germany they have a laundry room with a space for a washer for each apartment...

Anyway, in that scenario most people just hang up their washing to dry, but if you have to have a dryer it makes an awful lot of sense to have on integrated with the washer if you only have space for a single appliance.

I had one of those 'high efficiency' combo units. Hated it. If you washed anything more than a single sock at a time, it would come out wrinkled beyond recognition. And it took about 4 hours to cycle.

They're great if you don't mind adding "iron every damn piece of clothing I own" to your weekly to-do list.