New child due in august, what advice can you impart on me?

I don't know if this had been posted yet or not, but my advice to to NOT change the babies diaper for at least 15 minutes after they wake up from a nap. I find this the most "active" time for our 4 month old daughter and we are tempting fate (and by fate, I mean projectile poop) by not observing this 15 minute hold time.

On the few occasions that we have broken this rule, I have sometimes ended up with a soiled change table top, a soiled baby and usually not enough wipes!

Congrats! I hope that the pregnancy is not too hard on your wife and that the delivery goes well.

1) Sleep while you can now. You will need it and it still won't be enough;

2) Something about having a living thing depend on you for EVERYTHING makes you a better you. I feel I'm a better man now than b/4 my son;

3) You will make mistakes, and its ok;

4) Sleep monitors and digital thermometors are your friend;

5) Talk to and re-assure your wife/SO your wife/SO even more than you do now. You both will be more tried and stressed than you ever have been for extended periods of time and little things can turn major quickly

6) And learn to talk about your feelings, concerns, etc. The baby is important, but you are too. It's not hard to start to feel like a third wheel if you're not care. You need to talk about it if it ever happens.

7) Manage your time( what little you have... ) so you can still do things that you enjoy. Little man needs a whole and complete man to teach him how to be whole and complete.

8) Make it a priority that you and the misses show him a good example of what a loving couple looks like. He will need it later.

9) And get a will and setup guardianship for just in case. 'Nuf said.

It's scary and exciting all at once. Enjoy every minute of it!!!!

GR40RACER wrote: Never use a pacifier...You'll thank me later...

+1 - neither of my kids had them much. I have seen 5 and 6 year olds still walking around with them or sucking their thumbs.

"Just DON"T Do It"

Dont do this

I know it's a repost, but worth it

I wish someone had told me not to look below the waist while in the delivery room. #1 Son was an emergency, due to in-womb acrobatics resulting in a umblical cord being tied in a windsor. I'm not fond of hospitals on a good day, and this hadn't been a good day. So, after like 10 minutes, the Doc (who knew me well by that point) said "Hey, we found the problem! Take a look"

I stood up and actually looked. I managed not to faint. :)

more seriously...

1. Sleep now.

2. If you're lucky, they'll get on a schedule for overnight feedings. Ours were at 2.30 am, atomic-clock accurate. Now you can't get either up in the morning, go fig.

3. Don't panic until after the situation is over.

4. You may think paranoia has no benefits. I'm here to tell you it does, trust me.

5. Kids are geniuses when it comes to destruction. Some don't grow out of it. Also: Don't assume that because you have a daughter she'll be the neat one. HA!

Good Luck!

Whatever advice your mother or MIL gives, just nod and say 'of course.'

congrats! My dad always told me "You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you cant pick your friends nose". I suppose thats the best advice you could pass to yours.

oh, and be nothing like Neon18...best parenting advice ever

My wife had a c-section for both. One the first one she asked me if I was gonna look. The anesthesiologist (hope I spelled that right), gave me a very slow but firm NO with the back and forth head motion. Considering she was a female doc, I figured that was a pretty firm "You don't want to look down there."

I took her advice.

Miata.

In reply to NGTD:

I peaked over the curtain when they pulled him out. I couldn't resist, after seeing something squirt up and hit one of the doctors and they chuckled. I figured the chuckle was a pretty good indication that everything was OK.

Now circumcision. Ugg. Kind of felt like I had to be there for the boy, since it was our decision and not his. Wishing I could strike those images from my brain. :shiver:

sachilles wrote: Now circumcision. Ugg. Kind of felt like I had to be there for the boy, since it was our decision and not his. Wishing I could strike those images from my brain. :shiver:

I didn't look at that either. Doc handed them both back screaming - said "What would you be doing if I cut your dick off!"

Still, we have friends that work in health care and they have witnessed men in their 60's and 70's that had to be circumsized due to their inability to stop infections in that area. Much worse then.

If you're thinking of natural childbirth (ie, no epi, no inducing, etc) make sure you get an ultrasound shortly before they're due.

Kim was in labor for 72 hours...That kid was not coming out...36 hours of 'natural' labor followed by all the chemicals known to man for another day and a half (literally!). Finally they decided to do a C-section, Stig's head just wasn't going to fit through that hole. They could have/should have figured that out before this ordeal---and all of their patronizing "yes deary, labor is supposed to hurt like that." Um. No. and not for that long.

The good news is that we can just schedule our next one like a hair cut

Per

I'm one of those weirdo guys. Not only did I look, but I was very actively and intimately involved. As in placing monitors on the fetus head, recording readings, etc. I get bored and the nurse wisely recognized the danger of my idle hands.

There are images that were burned into my memory. But with time and senility (children conveniently cause this), they have blurred. And things recovered to an oem fit. So I just pretend it was all a bad dream.

The c-section surgery was a bit disappointing. Hey, I'm a trapper and a hunter, I've seen guts before. I was fascinated with looking in at hers. But the doctors shouldered me back and blocked my view.

Funniest part was getting him out. His skull was stuck solid in her pelvis. Required a three stooges like tugging routine to get him out.

Yeah the tugging is kind of comical, even my wife gave me an odd look as you could see her body bouncing around, but she couldn't feel what was going on.

The docs and nurses have names for the different shapes of kid's heads after vaginal birth, like Conehead, Peanut Head, etc etc.

When my daughter was born, she had one foot folded straight back up against her shin. Looked like a frog's foot. It freaked me out, the nurses weren't concerned in the least, they told me it would straighten out. Sure enough, after about three weeks both feet looked perfectly normal.

Jaundice: sometimes a kid will turn approximately the color of a pumpkin. I forget what exactly causes it but I remember the cure: put the kid in daylight for a couple of hours each day for a few days, it clears right up.

Then there is The Silence. This usually comes around after the young 'un is around a year old, when they first learn to walk. The house will be full of kid racket, then The Silence. THAT is when it's time to get off the couch QUICK and see what is up; generally it is nothing good.

foxtrapper wrote: And things recovered to an oem fit.

Thats good to know

Jensenman wrote: Then there is The Silence. This usually comes around after the young 'un is around a year old, when they first learn to walk. The house will be full of kid racket, then The Silence. THAT is when it's time to get off the couch QUICK and see what is up; generally it is nothing good.

+eleventy billion; silence = what is going on in there

Also; did anyone mention sleep now?

Sleep like you are not going to sleep for 6 months!!!!!

read to your child every chance you get.

explain everything to your child, even though you know they can't possibly understand WTF you're talking about. they're listening, and they're learning, every single day.

find a book called "Baby Signs" and read it, then put it into practice. babies can communicate long before they can speak. giving them some gross-motor gestures associated with words like "eat", "drink", "more", etc, helps you understand what they want/need now, and helps with their speech development.

another book, which I never felt like i needed to read after having read the title, is "Children Learn What They Live." want 'em to be compassionate? then live a compassionate life. Want 'em to be self-centered little pricks? etc etc. You are that child's role model for all that a Man is supposed to be. This is epic if your child happens to have a vagina.

no such thing as banking sleep. i advocate the opposite. start sleeping less now, and you'll be ahead of the game when junior is only down for 90 minutes at a time.

encourage breast-feeding. be patient, as mama's milk may not come in right away. i heard, but can't cite reference, that natural birth mama's milk comes in sooner because there's something in the labor process that triggers the production. there are nutrients in breastmilk that just can't be faked, and it's a tremendous bonding opportunity between mama and baby.

tell mama she's beautiful. thank her for giving you a healthy baby. do this every day until the little bastard wrecks your corvette.

mndsm wrote: Don't lose yourself to the kid. Sure, your life will revolve around that child, but don't give up your passion. If you have a project, keep at it, even if you only buff a fender for 5 minutes. It's the sanity you'll need. And when the time comes- you'll have a passion for something to share... instead of being rendered braindead by the Wiggles (seriously, I don't even have my own child, but those wiggles are worse than heroin)

When you say buff a fender, do you really mean buff a fender, or are you trying to say something....else?

Andrew

NGTD wrote:

digdug18 wrote: It's our first child and we'll be trying both disposable and non disposable diapers, friends have told us how easy it can be. Hopefully I'll get over my sensitive gag reflex as well. Yeah, we have already talked about it, my job during the delivery is to make margaritas, its the one thing she's been craving for the past 9 months. As for using a condom, no, they're too small. That's why they invented the pill. please keep the advice coming! I really do appreciate it.

We used cotton diapers with a liner (like heavy duty TP). No problem. After a while crap just becomes an every day occurance. Disposables cost a fortune if you add it all up. If it is a boy, keep the willy covered until you are ready and be quick. Something about the cool air hitting it makes em go. Nothing like a face full of pee to make you better at this. (And it will happen!)

I'm planning on using a 5hp wet dry vac to stop the face full of pee syndrome, though the get the diaper ready for a quick change was good advice as well. The side benefit of the wet dry vac, is that the boy will be ron jeremy by the time he is twelve.

The baby's room is making progress, i've been busy with other projects around the house, but really need to make the baby's room a priority at this point, the crib is a hand me down in the family, it was my crib, and has been stripped and repainted with non lead based paint. We are NOT painting the walls of the childs room, I/we figure that by the time the kid is old enough to tell us what colors he likes is a good time to paint it. My fiancee's one friend spent $3k on murals only to have it covered 2 years later by a blue wall, yeah F that. I need to find a dresser to convert into a changing table, I'll most likely do that this week or weekend.

We have the stroller, its the kind that is a baby seat/car seat combo thingy. I had a electric powered lawnmower converted into a power stroller but that has since been vetoed, I'm sure you know what I mean. It was perfect too, a place for the baby seat and all, it would move at 3mph and was whisper quiet. If I find the pictures I'll post them, lol.

My car does NOT have the latch system, its a 94, I hope to be getting a project to screw with on the weekends, but for now will stick with lawnmowers, they're cheaper anyway, but like you guys said, I need something to keep me sane.

We do plan on using non-disposable diapers when at home, which will be most of the time, but we'll have to use disposable diapers when out and about. Can you guys recommend what brands are good?

As for sleep, my sleep schedule sucks @ss, I don't get much sleep as it is, I've always been that way, and baby or not its how its just gonna be. I think back to basic training when they said that the human body only needs 4 hours of sleep.

digdug18 wrote:

NGTD wrote:

digdug18 wrote: It's our first child and we'll be trying both disposable and non disposable diapers, friends have told us how easy it can be. Hopefully I'll get over my sensitive gag reflex as well. Yeah, we have already talked about it, my job during the delivery is to make margaritas, its the one thing she's been craving for the past 9 months. As for using a condom, no, they're too small. That's why they invented the pill. please keep the advice coming! I really do appreciate it.

We used cotton diapers with a liner (like heavy duty TP). No problem. After a while crap just becomes an every day occurance. Disposables cost a fortune if you add it all up. If it is a boy, keep the willy covered until you are ready and be quick. Something about the cool air hitting it makes em go. Nothing like a face full of pee to make you better at this. (And it will happen!)

..., the crib is a hand me down in the family, it was my crib, and has been stripped and repainted with non lead based paint. My car does NOT have the latch system, its a 94,... We do plan on using non-disposable diapers when at home, which will be most of the time, but we'll have to use disposable diapers when out and about. Can you guys recommend what brands are good?

Make sure your crib is up to current safety standards. a lot of old ones, the kids could get their heads between things and possibly die from asphyxiation. Not worth if for the cost of a crib.

Most cars (at least in Canada) can be retrofitted with some of the restraint items. I had the latch system added to my Passat and had anchors added in to our Explorer. They were done FREE at the dealers (and no, I am not the original owner of either vehicle).

Pampers, we had no luck with others.

Wowak wrote: Miata.

Kelso said: Well, babies are small, and this is small, so I figured it'd work.

ill never forget one of my first im an idiot moments when my son came home.. i had night duty. he started sryin at his usual hungry time. we had one of those steam bottle warmers.. so i stagger over to the warmer and thought i put water in it... put his bottle in it. went and got him.. come back to the kitchen to get his bubba.. well there is smoke comin outta the warmer and the bottle is melting in the warmer.. so needless to say, wife comes out,, and not to pleased.. she takes the baby i get another bottle warm it up. she feeds him and i am trying to scrape melted bottle outta the warmer.. woke up the next day and pretty much decided it was junk.. she was NOT happy with me at al..lol one of those stupid moments that you will never forget.

I see you are already going to use cloth diapers at home and disposables when out. That's what we did and saved a bunch of moolah.

My wife nursed both our kids. The first child, our son, decided it was too easy to suck formula out of a bottle than milk out of a boob and quit nursing at 6 weeks. I knew something was wrong with him then. He's 30 YO now and still that lazy. The daughter made till one year and wife cut her off when she started "playing".

I haven't seen it mentioned yet, so I will tell you to be very very careful about letting your child sleep in your bed. They belong in the crib. Pretend you are training you pet for a crate. A co-worker ignored my advice and he cannot get his two YO out of his bed now.

Enjoy the privilege of raising a child. They can be amazing.