I am a man. need I say more?
I am a man. need I say more?
I've just given up on social interactions. Everything I say is taken either correctly, out of context, or wrong- whichever one makes me seem worst.
I used to think it was ok just to be me. Being married 26 years beat that out of me, and I'm not sure how long it will take to get back to ok now that she's gone.
The two worst were once when I was working at Autozone years ago I had a customer come in the store who I greeted with a "How can I help you sir?" Which seemed appropriate given the work slacks with chain wallet, plaid shirt, and slicked-back short hair... Yup, I was wrong. 
Fortunately, "she" just smirked & didn't seem upset.
Second time was at my last job, in a customer's office who I'd been in numerous times. She appeared around my age(40's) or a bit older, and there was a young girl(16-19) in her office caring for a baby - who my customer was obviously fawning over. So I asked "Is that your grand-baby?" Yup, wrong on that one too!
On an observation duty with my friend (a policeman). We stopped and got some Popeye's chicken.
As we sat there in his cruiser eating chicken, a black man came out of Popeye's with a bag. In an attempt to make idle conversation I said, "whatcha got in the bag, fried chicken?"
He said, "no, its diapers."
I had no idea that I committed a massive racial slur without intending it until later when the police department got a phone call about a racist cop in unit #155.
Curmudgeon wrote: There ain't enough bandwidth to cover my past social awkwardness.
I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks this …
oh … I meant about me 
In reply to curtis73:
I am picturing this playing out in my head and I laughed out loud. It's messed up from the black guy's perspective for sure and I don't blame him for calling it in. But I am just picturing you stuffing your face with fried chicken and (with no intent) throwing a prejudice statement like that out the window of a cop car. I shouldn't be laughing but I am.
914Driver wrote: Never be photographed in anything you wouldn't want your Grandmother or your FUTURE EMPLOYER see you in. (caps are for young people being silly on FBook)
We interviewed a 55 year old guy for a phone sales job - we then looked at his Facebook and saw hundreds of sexual comments and innuendos and rude pictures that were of poor taste. He would be in a small office with two early 20 year old hip marketing ladies and sometimes the GM would be traveling for a full week and not around.
This older guy didn't get the job because of his Facebook page even though he talked the talk. Maybe we were wrong but we didn't feel safe for the two young ladies.
Where do I begin...
I had a crush on a girl from work a long time ago. We were working at a charity auction and there was a pretty necklace that she wanted. I bid like a mofo, even though I was working as a waiter at the event and I won. She was very impressed for about 2 seconds. Side note: All of our coworkers were really immature and I was a tad shy. They asked very sarcastically who I got the necklace for and I quickly replied, "My dog." Just to kill the convo right then and there. Turns out my crush was right behind me. She said that I should give it to my dog because there was no way she was going to take it.
Another time a guy told me that his mother just died and I couldnt hear him, so I responded with a thumbs up and said "COOL!"
The list can go on.
I look creepy, I am a perfectly normal well adjusted weirdo When you are freaking out your friends your doing it right.
I think Katie is just fishing for comments for "say what?" in the magazine.
I'm 6'2", 230#, weird hair, tattooed and bearded, with whatever the equivalent of "resting bitch face" for men is. I can say "Lovely morning isn't it?" and if somebody wants to take it the wrong way, they'll have full justification in their mind.
Truth is, I only mean to be a shiny happy person maybe 3/4 of the time.
I once complimented a girl, told her how much her make-up looked like Mimi on the Drew Carey show.
She somehow didn't perceive it as the compliment I meant it to be.
I think it would be a whole lot worse if you thanked them for not shutting their blinds. In reply to PHeller:
Hahahah I thought I was one of the only people that uses the term "resting bitch face."
Swank Force One wrote: Hahahah I thought I was one of the only people that uses the term "resting bitch face."
I'll probably regret it, but whats "resting bitch face"?
Yes.
Recently, more awkward than creepy, I'm at popeyes, I ask for dark meat but slip up and say darky...
This is my go-to: "Sup girl." If that doesn't work, usually "Oh, hey." doesn't.
Best used when sitting at a stoplight with girl driver/passenger/whatever in the car next to me has their window down. They're usually quite under-impressed with my E36 M3pile Honda.
Wait, if I had stopped by GRMHQ when I was in Florida last month, I could have scored some candy?
E36 M3!
In reply to ryanty22:
It's a term that was originally used to apply to women whose neutral facial expression looks to an outsider like she's disgusted/pissed/unpleasant, when that's just the way her non-expression settles.
Speaking only from my own perspective, I've learned over the years that my expressionless face settles into what would be generously described as a "determined glower." I've been asked "Are you okay?" and/or "What are you doing?" in a tone implying "Who are you going to kill right now?" more often than I care to count.
But yeah, it's really just my face.
Bitchy Resting Face: Funny YouTube video that explains it
ryanty22 wrote:Swank Force One wrote: Hahahah I thought I was one of the only people that uses the term "resting bitch face."I'll probably regret it, but whats "resting bitch face"?
I had to look it up also …
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=resting+bitch+face
not overall creepy - but funny now like cole trickle.
I worked with an older lady (Mom) at my job and my wife happened to work at another company with her daughter. Wife tells me daughter is getting married. I proceed to tell Mom congratulations about the upcoming wedding. Mom goes home to confront daughter as she didn't know and daughter is pissed as she was planning on slipping out the next weekend and eloping with the boyfriend and coming back married.
So I upset the apple cart and then ended up planning a real wedding and postponing the eloping that weekend. My wife still brings it up.
In my dating days I was driving to a movie in my '73 2002 on a second date with a pretty girl I was trying to impress. Keep in mind I'm a guy that usually doesn't talk much. After a long silence, and I could tell she looked over at me. I thought I'd try to be funny. Girls like funny guys. Right? So I decided to replay the scene where Dennis Hopper is breathing in his oxygen mask and screaming at Isabella Rossilini: "DON'T YOU LOOK AT ME BERKLEY. DON'T YOU BERKLEYING LOOK AT ME! Yelling. NO really YELLING it. I was in character. The poor girl hadn't see the movie. And explaining the movie scene as we were parked at the next exit made it even worse. She finally stopped crying. We actually dated for a few years.
curtis73 wrote: On an observation duty with my friend (a policeman). We stopped and got some Popeye's chicken. As we sat there in his cruiser eating chicken, a black man came out of Popeye's with a bag. In an attempt to make idle conversation I said, "whatcha got in the bag, fried chicken?" He said, "no, its diapers." I had no idea that I committed a massive racial slur without intending it until later when the police department got a phone call about a racist cop in unit #155.
Hahaha I could have done that one myself...
All winter I had been taking my lunch in a park, sitting at a picnic table near a damaged playground. A few weeks into the spring the playground was rebuilt and and large groups of kids started showing up. Since I usually just eat my sandwich with my nose buried in a book I was oblivious to the fact that I looked like a creepy shrublurker until one of the mothers came over to me. Now that the playground is finished there is a sign that all adults must be accompanied by a kid.
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