Oh it is so much worse

In reply to Professor_Brap :

Princess_Brap has an interesting view. I guess I got the most worried with my daughter during most recent cohabitation trial because she stopped caring about her long-term future. No grad school, no house, no plan beyond the moment. She eventually realized she was giving up her former goals. But it is good to hear that you kept your self in focus in order to evaluate the potential relationship with Mr car guy. 

OP - I hope you know from my previous posts that I appreciate the seriousness of what you're dealing with here.  I also believe humor sometimes allows us to deal more effectively with difficult circumstances.  This made me laugh this morning:

In reply to Advan046 :

I'm not gonna lie, my head sees this human superfund site (HSS) and recognizes how damaging he can be for her future.  But you're right, my heart is hurt at the lies, the lack of trust we now have in her.  We gave her plenty of trust and freedom and she pissed it away.  To be perfectly honest, I'm ready for her to be out of my house because I don't really care to have someone I don't trust living under my roof.  She may re-earn trust at some point but for now, nope.

One of the things that she seems pretty blase' about has been how quickly and completely HSS has moved into her place of trust (2.5 months) compared with me (7 years) and her mother (literally her entire life).  She believes him and not us, that is simply staggering.

I have no illusions of it ever happening, but I honestly want to hear her side of this out of pure curiosity at this point. 

Advan046 said:

In reply to Professor_Brap :

Princess_Brap has an interesting view. I guess I got the most worried with my daughter during most recent cohabitation trial because she stopped caring about her long-term future. No grad school, no house, no plan beyond the moment. She eventually realized she was giving up her former goals. But it is good to hear that you kept your self in focus in order to evaluate the potential relationship with Mr car guy. 

 

Princess_Brap 
If she is truly focused on those things herself, she'll be ok if she keeps her mind open and is honest with herself. It might take a while for her to unwrap his manipulations if she hasn't had much dating experience before this guy, but I'm hopeful. Guys like that typically end up back in jail within the year though, he's not paying his child support I assume, so your problem may fix itself that way too.

Professor_Brap: 

She is not wrong, they take missing child support serious, atleast in Ohio. 

In reply to Professor_Brap :

They do in Kentucky too. Got called in to work real early one morning because a guy didn't show up to open and he wouldn't answer his phone. We found out soon after several grand in child support was involved and assumed he was in jail.

In reply to Professor_Brap :

Fun fact:  If a custodial parent ever goes on public assistance due to an unsupported child when the state finds out who the non-paying parent is the state will garnish funds until said assistance is paid back. 

In laymans terms people can end up paying child support on children as old as 30 because the state will get theirs back.  I know two cases of this right now.