aussiesmg
aussiesmg SuperDork
9/22/09 4:01 p.m.

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER This one is a little different... Two Different Versions!
Two Different Morals!

OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant 's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Nancy Pelosi and John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010 & 2012.

EastCoastMojo
EastCoastMojo GRM+ Memberand Dork
9/22/09 4:04 p.m.

You forgot the part where tha grasshoppers illegitimate children are eaten by a flounder.

aussiesmg
aussiesmg SuperDork
9/22/09 4:08 p.m.

I'm no flounder, dang it all Mojo just cause I copied and pasted don't make it a flounder

EastCoastMojo
EastCoastMojo GRM+ Memberand Dork
9/22/09 4:10 p.m.

I think you're confusing a flounder with a canoe.

aussiesmg
aussiesmg SuperDork
9/22/09 4:17 p.m.

Did I sound good and peeved though. Besides it would have made more sense to have said eaten by a cockroach

aircooled
aircooled SuperDork
9/22/09 4:41 p.m.

I'm confused... which one is Hitler?

maroon92
maroon92 SuperDork
9/22/09 4:48 p.m.

flounder is the code word for politics warning.

you cannot be a flounder, but a thread can flounder.

Snowdoggie
Snowdoggie HalfDork
9/22/09 4:52 p.m.

Did they mention the fact that the ant wasn't covered and couldn't get treated for the back problems he had from working on his house because the insurance company considered it a 'pre-existing condition'?

NYG95GA
NYG95GA SuperDork
9/22/09 5:14 p.m.

Sounds like time for a ant farm stimulus program. We can borrow the ant food from China, and pay them back later..

cwh
cwh Dork
9/22/09 5:19 p.m.

Arrgghhh.

Appleseed
Appleseed Dork
9/22/09 5:55 p.m.

I dunno. He seems harmless.

ignorant
ignorant SuperDork
9/22/09 6:56 p.m.

DrBoost
DrBoost HalfDork
9/22/09 9:52 p.m.

Why is it the right side of the text is cut off for me?

Tim Baxter
Tim Baxter Online Editor
9/22/09 10:11 p.m.

because Aussie put it in as preformatted text by indenting it several spaces.

aussiesmg
aussiesmg SuperDork
9/23/09 6:16 a.m.

fixed

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