On Being a Courteous Driver

I pride myself on being a good/safe driver. I've had three accidents in over fifty years of driving ... all minor, and none of them my fault. However, in over fifty years of driving I've perhaps not always been a "courteous" driver. I think there's a difference. Let me explain. I personally put a lot of emphasis on driving safely ... maybe not always adhering to the posted speed limit, maybe taking advantage of an open country road in my Miata, and usually rolling through a stop sign at an empty intersection. But I believe that basic driving skills, common sense, and above all, maintaining situational awareness, are paramount to safe driving. Having said that, I have an utter disdain for inept drivers who never learned the basics, clueless cretins, and idiots that have no situational awareness. And of course there's the overly aggressive moron drivers. We know who they are and we see them every day. I could go on and on with personal experiences, but I'm sure you folks have your own. 

So, back to the premise of this thread, and that is being a courteous driver. If it's a legitimate situation, for example, somebody trying to get into heavy traffic from a parking lot, or trying to get across lanes on the freeway to make an exit, etc., I will definitely give space. But I personally cannot be courteous to any of the jerks I described earlier. (In this overly PC society that's probably considered unacceptable).

So, I believe that there are a lot of good/safe drivers on this forum. It would be interesting to hear your thoughts, opinions, and experiences on this topic.

I am courteous as long as you accept my courtesy in a reasonable time.

If you want to prove to me how courteous you are by encouraging me to break the law, just stop.  

I tend towards being a courteous driver. I let people in and out all the time, I tend to keep up with the flow of traffic on single land roads and hang in the right lane on double so people can pass me.  My courtesy once got me involved in a road rage incident.

I came across a semi stuck in the left lane right at the beginnings of road work. In the ten minutes it took for me to inch up to it, nobody let him merge. I did. The guy behind me lost his little mind. Yelling, Screaming, honking, flashing his lights at me. The road work was literally a quarter of a mile long and once we were in the single lane, it moved quickly. Truck moved right after the construction and so did I while the guy behind me continued to get angrier and angrier. I pulled in behind the truck and mr. Anger pulled up even with me to really start screaming. After checking the mirrors, I smiled, waved, and stomped the brakes hard. I guess he thought the BMW would try to out run him, he had no clue what to do so he took off.

In this day and age of guns and anger, I did not want him where I could not see him.

mad_machine said:

I tend towards being a courteous driver. I let people in and out all the time, I tend to keep up with the flow of traffic on single land roads and hang in the right lane on double so people can pass me.  My courtesy once got me involved in a road rage incident.

 

I came across a semi stuck in the left lane right at the beginnings of road work. In the ten minutes it took for me to inch up to it, nobody let him merge. I did. The guy behind me lost his little mind. Yelling, Screaming, honking, flashing his lights at me. The road work was literally a quarter of a mile long and once we were in the single lane, it moved quickly. Truck moved right after the construction and so did I while the guy behind me continued to get angrier and angrier. I pulled in behind the truck and mr. Anger pulled up even with me to really start screaming. After checking the mirrors, I smiled, waved, and stomped the brakes hard. I guess he thought the BMW would try to out run him, he had no clue what to do so he took off.

In this day and age of guns and anger, I did not want him where I could not see him.

I laugh at those people as Darwin will eventually find them. 

In reply to Gary :

I’d say your driving is quite similar to mine, with one exception - in over 1.2M miles I've discovered the best defense is a good offense. What I mean is that by driving somewhat aggressively(without being reckless), it causes most other drivers to pay attention moreso than they typically do. The ones who aren’t paying attention are usually pretty easy to spot/predict/avoid. 

I think the biggest problem is that most drivers seem to think that once they are behind a steering wheel the rest of the world disappears. I am a courteous driver and will share the road with those that know how to drive. The limited access highway I drive on the most is two lanes and most of the time fairly busy. More often than not some jackwad will try to merge onto the highway where there is no where to merge into. Just a few weeks ago I was towing a trailer, in the right lane, with traffic passing me in the left lane. This tool on the on ramp (with plenty of sight line) comes roaring up beside me, gives me a one finger salute and beeps his horn at me, when he could have just pulled in behind me. He seemed to think I should have swerved into the left lane so he could have the right lane. Apparently "yeild" has a different meaning to some people. I also try to run just a little faster than most of the traffic especially when on my bike, feel like I have a little better chance of avoiding those that aren't paying attention. 

We in the DE community call the out come of being courteous the "good Samaritan" crash.  When you give up your right of way to "help out a fellow driver" you are creating a potentially greater risky situation. That driver can not see around you,  and the driver coming from another direction may not be able to see the driver you're waving out into traffic. And,  you are most likely holding up a line of cars for only one car. Certainly,  never block a side street.  But,  anyone entering the roadway from a parking lot or driveway does not have the right of way and should expect to wait for a safe opening to pull into. That is the proper etiquette and the expected method of driving. 

Apparently I scared the hell out of somebody today being Courteous. On my way home, I got cut off as I approached the turnoff of the road I was one. Acura Came up on my left on the last sweep before the turn off. I guess they misjudged the speed and only gave about a foot or two between the front bumper of my Disco and their car. Hit the brakes, let them go. I used to drive commercial, if I got upset every time somebody did something stupid on the road around me, I would have stroked out long ago. No harm, no foul.

Where it gets interesting is that I would up following them several miles afterwards. The Wawa I usually stop at for my breakfast muffin is closed for renovations, so I have to go several miles out of my way to another, So I followed them three lights down, staying WAY back even when sitting at a light behind them, and then wound up turning behind them onto the road that leads to the convenience store. Sitting at the last light, I decided I could not follow them into the parking lot.

Low and behold, they turn into the Wawa, so I go up to the next light and turn down that road which is the back way in. I take my time and pull into the lot just in time to see them pull out the other exit and take off down the road. I really think they were scared that I was following to rage on them. I didn't menace them on the road, I never came closer than 2 car lengths even when stopped at a light, I never even hit my horn, but I guess they were worried enough they had screwed up and almost hit me that they were being paranoid.

I try to be deliberate, decisive and predictable in my driving, all the while assuming most other drivers are clueless and will do something illegal, stupid and/or unpredictable. For instance there was the truck turning right into the middle lane on a 4 lane road while I was turning left into that same lane. I usually try to avoid doing that, but the light was turning yellow and I was already committed to going. Close call, but avoided, as I was watching for it.

It's served me well so far, having been driving for more than half my life. I've had only one collision when a motorcycle decided to pass me in the oncoming lane while I was making a signaled left turn, instead of going around me in the empty right hand lane. Go figure.

At work we have been preaching defensive driving for over 20 years.  It has finally sunk in.  Traveling to work each morning I just let the shiny happy people go.  

One thing that grinds my gears is people who ride your bumper, but don't actually intend to go fast. Like, their default distance is 15' from your bumper.

Last week I had a guy in his work truck, plastered with his business logos, proceed to ride up my ass. Being in the Fit, I nimbly scooted around some corners and put some distance between us. He must've thought that was an insult to his manlihood, as he then proceeded run up my ass again when we go on the highway. He was a 300hp truck, me a in my 90hp Fit, so he had to go around me. 

Then I think it dawned on him that he wasn't exactly setting a good example for his business, and slowed down to the speed limit near immediately. 

I drive BMWs but use my turn signals religiously.  Does that count?

In reply to pheller :

You could have let him pass to see if he had one of those ”how is my driving” stickers like we have on our trucks.

I've always been a courteous driver. I've always given people space, moved over to let people pass, you name it. But I had a short fuse with discourteous drivers who tailgated, cut me off, or blocked the fast lane. I don't let it bug me any more. I drive a lot, and it was no fun always being stressed and angry because of a few random idiots. I also had kids, which changed my perspective. Finally I drive a lot for work now, and road rage doesn't have a good explanation to most. Now I just relax and let the shiny happy people be shiny happy people. I just assume that they will get theirs soon enough, and they often do. Like the guy I saw driving on the shoulder recently in heavy traffic- until he got to none too pleased cop parked up ahead. Or the C6 Corvette driver that I  had seen driving recklessly on many occasions, who stuffed it into the center divider. I didn't see it myself, too far back in traffic- but other drivers passing by were honking and clapping, so many others felt the same way. The only thing that really gets me now are drivers on their phones, and drivers that try to merge into 70+MPH traffic at 30. Probably the same people. 

On two lane roads in Texas (hilly central TX more often), the courteous thing to do is to pull to the shoulder and let faster traffic pass when there's a double yellow.  I don't participate and I hope you won't.  Here's why;

1. Dead deer, hogs, cattle, truck tires, large things all inhabit the shoulder.  Around curves and over hills, I can't see this stuff.  

2. The shoulder is a breakdown lane.  Somebody's grandma is changing her tire on the shoulder and, again, I can’t see her on these roads.

3. If I'm in the shoulder I'm hugging the white line while you're passing on my left and also hugging the white line.  Not much room for error.

4. There are passing lanes every 2-5 miles and there are always dashed yellow lines on flat, straight stretches of road.  You can wait, as can I when I'm the faster car.

In truth, the courteous thing to do is to drive the roads as they're marked, not to follow some hillbilly laws enforced by rodeo clowns driving brodozers.  

spitfirebill said:

In reply to pheller :

You could have let him pass to see if he had one of those ”how is my driving” stickers like we have on our trucks.

Does that do anything?  SWMBO works at a call center that has a few of those "How's my driving?" accounts for companies and it seems like the complaints they take and deliver get laughed off.

 I am mostly a courteous driver, although courtesy decreases as closing speed increases, especially if it's because another driver is driving below the speed limit.

Gary said:

So, back to the premise of this thread, and that is being a courteous driver. If it's a legitimate situation, for example, somebody trying to get into heavy traffic from a parking lot, or trying to get across lanes on the freeway to make an exit, etc., I will definitely give space. But I personally cannot be courteous to any of the jerks I described earlier. (In this overly PC society that's probably considered unacceptable).

"PC" has nothing to do with being courteous to jerk drivers.