Wally
Wally GRM+ Memberand UltimaDork
7/24/12 9:39 p.m.

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/playlist/view/263676/Man-has-penis-stolen-by-masked-intruders-after-alleged-affairs/

A MAN is recovering in hospital after four men broke into his flat and cut off his penis.

Police are hunting the masked intruders, who are thought to have acted over accusations that their victim was engaged in affairs with local women.

The 41-year-old told cops he had been asleep when the men burst into his bedroom around 4am.

"They put something over my head and pulled down my trousers and then they ran off. I was so shocked I didn't feel a thing - then I saw I was bleeding and my penis was gone," he said.

Although emergency workers searched for the severed organ, they failed to locate it and believe it was taken away by the attackers.

The victim, Fei Lin, a rural migrant worker in the eastern Chinese village of Nigiao, denies the alleged affairs.

nicksta43
nicksta43 HalfDork
7/24/12 9:52 p.m.

fast_eddie_72
fast_eddie_72 UltraDork
7/24/12 10:01 p.m.

Sleep on my back? Hell, after reading that I may never sleep again!

That's just wrong.

JoeyM
JoeyM SuperDork
7/24/12 10:09 p.m.

consider buying male chastity belt to sleep in.
locking key in gun safe each night

jrw1621
jrw1621 PowerDork
7/24/12 10:19 p.m.
Secretariata
Secretariata GRM+ Memberand New Reader
7/24/12 10:46 p.m.
JoeyM wrote: consider buying male chastity belt to sleep in. locking key in gun safe each night

That's a great idea...when they find the key they also have found all of your weaponry. Now you're unlocked and unarmed...

JoeyM
JoeyM SuperDork
7/24/12 10:54 p.m.
Secretariata wrote:
JoeyM wrote: consider buying male chastity belt to sleep in. [ image ] locking key in gun safe each night
That's a great idea...when they figure out the combination they also have found some of your guns Now you only have a few of them ready to protect yourself.<

FTFY. Some of us keep a few handy.

Tom_Spangler
Tom_Spangler GRM+ Memberand HalfDork
7/25/12 8:23 a.m.

Sounds like the work of nihilists.

Karl La Follette
Karl La Follette SuperDork
7/25/12 9:18 a.m.

Olfa

N Sperlo
N Sperlo PowerDork
7/25/12 9:35 a.m.
JoeyM wrote: consider buying male chastity belt to sleep in. locking key in gun safe each night

CAAAAAAL THE LOCKSMITH!

mad_machine
mad_machine GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
7/25/12 9:51 a.m.
Secretariata wrote:
JoeyM wrote: consider buying male chastity belt to sleep in. locking key in gun safe each night
That's a great idea...when they find the key they also have found all of your weaponry. Now you're unlocked and unarmed...

nono.. now you are STILL locked up and unarmed. Hope they do not have a welder handy

Secretariata
Secretariata GRM+ Memberand New Reader
7/25/12 7:32 p.m.
mad_machine wrote: nono.. now you are STILL locked up and unarmed. Hope they do not have a welder handy

Assuming they are after your man parts (may or may not be a BIG assumption) once they get the safe open the key to your chastity belt is available along with your arsenal.

So which one is your weapon and which one is your gun?

Secretariata
Secretariata GRM+ Memberand New Reader
7/25/12 7:35 p.m.
JoeyM wrote: FTFY. Some of us keep a few handy.

Great! Why don't you just tell them the pistol grip pump is leaning against the wall in the gap between the dresser and the armor?

Secretariata
Secretariata GRM+ Memberand Reader
7/25/12 7:39 p.m.

Did Lorena Bobbitt move to China? Cut off one and get "hungry" for more 20 years later...

Curmudgeon
Curmudgeon MegaDork
7/25/12 7:49 p.m.
mad_machine wrote:
Secretariata wrote:
JoeyM wrote: consider buying male chastity belt to sleep in. locking key in gun safe each night
That's a great idea...when they find the key they also have found all of your weaponry. Now you're unlocked and unarmed...
nono.. now you are STILL locked up and unarmed. Hope they do not have a welder handy

Even worse, a plasma cutter...

B430
B430 Reader
7/25/12 11:11 p.m.

What kind of guy does this to another man? I could understand breaking in and giving him a good beating, but this?

914Driver
914Driver MegaDork
7/26/12 5:41 a.m.

Velochi Papers.

Maroon92
Maroon92 MegaDork
7/26/12 5:44 a.m.
Secretariata wrote: Did Lorena Bobbitt move to China? Cut off one and get "hungry" for more 20 years later...

If that's the case, I'm sure this will happen again soon. You're always hungry for more about an hour after you have Chinese.

Secretariata
Secretariata GRM+ Memberand Reader
7/26/12 10:23 p.m.
Maroon92 wrote: If that's the case, I'm sure this will happen again soon. You're always hungry for more about an hour after you have Chinese.

Glad somebody saw the reference...

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