Parents, kids, and cars

In my high school days, about 98% of the people had to buy thier own cars. I worked, saved money, picked out and bought my own cars. Same goes for just about everyone I knew. These days it seems many parents feel obligated to buy cars, many times a new one, for their children. What is your take on this and how did the situation get to this point? My attitude is that buying and owning a car is a pretty big responsibility. Having someone just hand you a set of keys teaches you nothing.

My dad and I went halfsies. Which meant he drove it all the time and I fixed it.

My kids are really young (4 and 5) and when the time comes I plan to match what they save dollar for dollar. They save nothing and they get nothing. If they save $1,000 I'll match it with another $1k and we'll go looking for something reasonable that THEY can afford to insure.

That's my plan and it worked good for me when my Dad and I bought my first car ('66 Bel-Aire for $900). They can drive my cars IF they plan to put gas in them and help with the maintenance. Doesn't matter if they're girls.

I had to pay for both my driving license (rather expensive in Germany, we're talking > $1000 in 1986 dollars) and save up money for a car. That's why I had a job so I could save up some money.

A lot of my friends had their licenses paid for by their parents, but pretty much all of us with a few exceptions - those who lived in places where you didn't have any public transport - we all had to buy our own cars.

I can't quite see why kids these days shouldn't save some money if they wanted a car, but then again I think a lot of parents are buying the car for the kids to prevent them from doing something stupid. Not that that's stopped people from doing it anyway.

I bought my own car, a 72 Mustang, for $700 in 1986 with my own money. Our oldest doesn't have his own car, but we let him drive our old Villager to take himself and his siblings to school, and to run the occasional errand for us - but otherwise, he has no desire to really go anywhere & his ADHD makes school difficult for him, so we haven't pushed him into a job yet. He's starting junior college in the summer though, and I'll make sure his class load is light enough that he'll be able to work & pay for his gas/insurance.

my dad gave me a car he paid $50 for (my 54 belair) that sat for 16 years. i had to work my arse off with him to bring it back to life, and he made sure we left the original 6 in it because he wanted it to be as slow as possible. lucky too, if we threw in a nice v8 like i wanted i'd probably be dead.

Personally I drove the hand me downs from family members, or 2-500$ bombs that I could afford to buy and fix easily till they blew up in my face. That being the case I ended up driving a 86 Pontiac Parisienne station wagon the last two years of high school, it was a hand me down from my grandparents after moving to Florida, being a military brat and moving ALOT in the mid 90's, I went to 5 high schools in 4 years, meant that I had to help drive the U-haul or family vehicles with trailers behind them, and could not take my car with us.

When I graduated high school I spent almost everything I had saved though the years on an 86 Camaro. TRUST me they will appreciate the car more and be less likely to do stupid things with it, if they have to pay for it themselves. Personally I learned the hard way, of not letting your "friends" drive your car, I loaned my Camaro out a few times after I had bought a second car, it seems like every time I did so, it came back with damage. 1st time my "friend" got ran off the road, no real damage just tweaked the front subframe, 2nd time the "friend" ran into a parked truck, luckily no damage to the truck as he hit the tire, but the passenger fender was screwed, 3rd time my "friend" borrowed it to goto work as his truck was still in pieces, I told him "you've got plenty of time, take it easy, and keep the speed down, the tires are getting bad on it." he shows up at my work place an hour later with a very bad look on his face, "your car's in the middle of I-275, I had a blow out. Ok I told him the tires were getting old and bad, how bad could it be, right? "How fast were you going?" "About 70" ok no biggie lets just get back to it and see if we can't get it home, I had never had a spare in the car, I know my stupidity. I get there and there's prob 2-300 yards of skid marks and dirt torn up from where he almost crossed the median into oncoming traffic. "how fast were you REALLY going?" "The needle was pretty much pegged man""YOU STUPID @#$#@@#%#@%@#%@#%@#%@#$" "I PROMISE! I'll HELP FIX IT!!" Yeah promises from a 20 year old never did come through, I got it pretty much strait again, but lost heart with it and sold it for a 1/10th of what I had in it. MORAL of the story, DON'T LET FRIENDS DRIVE YOUR CAR!

Now that being said, I've been lucky enough to have a friend recently loan me a car when I needed one, granted it was usually a backup in his fleet, but after my previous experiences with friends and cars I made sure I was extra careful when driving his cars.

Started working for cash under the table at 14. Bought my own damned car, my own damned insurance, and had money saved up to move out the day after I graduated high school. It made me a self-reliant mother berkeleyer. If we have kids, the same will go for them, fortunately for them, dad can find some pretty sweet sh*t for $500.

My dad has always supplied me with a car (I'm 19) (I actually started a thread similar to this, asking people when they bought their own car...) . It allowed him to get more cars. But I would never be allowed to drive if I hadn't worked my ass off all summer since I was 13. I could pay for a nice car, many times over... but all that money went to college. Keep in mind how much college tuition has inflated, for my generation it is near impossible to pay for it by yourself. All my money that I've earned has gone to Illinois State University, the money just won't be there for me to buy a car for another few years.

Link to a thread from last year in the same thought process:
http://grassrootsmotorsports.com/forum/off-topic-discussion/when-did-you-buy-your-first-car/5605/page1/

I was "given" my first car. Specifically, I was told, "If you get it out of my yard, you can have it." Thanks, grandma!

It was one of grandpa's storage sheds. Not IN a shed. It WAS a shed.

The hood had been up and the head off for a couple of years. I drove it home at the end of a tow rope.

I spent a summer literally as a shade-tree mechanic, and then had a nice running slow car. I loved it.

I will purchase another car for me, that my daughter will be able to drive. Something that is cool to me;...her...maybe not so much.

I got a hand me down car that really wasn't all mine when I was a teen, actually belonged to the parents and they let me use it but I did buy my own motorcycle so I only drove the car when I had to carry more than me (like dates ). It wasn't anything special, a 10 year old car. It was a 65 Chevelle 4-door with a small 6 (190 ci, I believe), powerglide trans, no power steering or brakes. My kids don't believe me about the car, they can't imagine no power.

As for my girls, I did the same as my parents. Provided them transportation if the kept their grades up. I got them a 88 Z24 which was about 10-12 years old at the time. Told them if they didn't like it then get a job and buy your own. Which both did eventually.

One sister got nothing. The other sister was bought a mustang at 16, and later a reliant. I ended up with 2 hand me downs.

When I was in school, most of the kids didn't own cars. There were some who had various older vehicles that were just used cars, a few with 'cool' cars (semi-souped up Chevelles, that sort of thing) and exactly one kid who got a new car from his parents when he turned 16. The last I heard, 35 years later, that guy is still living in his parent's basement. I bought my first car when I was in college, a '61 Pontiac for $70.

I like the way most of you think.

I have 2 sets of kids- 2 in college, and 3 younger ones. I get to make the mistakes with the older ones, then try again with the younger ones.

I made the mistake with the older ones of "letting them drive" one of my cars. Cheap beaters. But even so, it led to entitlement thinking- they came to think a car was somehow their birthright. As they got older, the transition out of it became harder and harder. (Who's insurance, which repairs, etc. etc.). I eventually gave each of them decent transportation beaters, mostly for selfish reasons- I couldn't get out of the patterns we had developed.

The problem was of course exaggerated by the fact that most of their friends DID get pretty nice cars from their folks, most expenses WERE paid.

The other thing that made it a bit more difficult was that we live in a rural area- no mass transit, bikes not an option. Additionally, the insurance burden was ALWAYS going to hit my account, whether or not they had their own (in GA, as long as they use my address as their permanent address, my rates increase). That won't change until they get their own houses.

One of them was a lot more appreciative than the other.

Next time around I WILL NOT provide anything. I like the idea of matching their funds. Partly because I retain a bit of influence (to get a safe car, etc).

One of my favorite cars for my kids was our '98 Impreza wagon. Good safety aspects, decent on fuel and expenses, handled well enough to learn well, 5 speed. Looks like crap (been hit multiple times, has mismatched panels, etc.), but looks brand new under the hood. Both my kids learned to drive on it. Not much in the pride or showing off department, but a great basic transport appliance. I'll be looking for something similar for my younger kids.

SVreX wrote: I like the way most of you think. I have 2 sets of kids- 2 in college, and 3 younger ones. I get to make the mistakes with the older ones, then try again with the younger ones. I made the mistake with the older ones of "letting them drive" one of my cars. Cheap beaters. But even so, it led to entitlement thinking- they came to think a car was somehow their birthright. As they got older, the transition out of it became harder and harder. (Who's insurance, which repairs, etc. etc.). I eventually gave each of them decent transportation beaters, mostly for selfish reasons- I couldn't get out of the patterns we had developed. The problem was of course exaggerated by the fact that most of their friends DID get pretty nice cars from their folks, most expenses WERE paid. The other thing that made it a bit more difficult was that we live in a rural area- no mass transit, bikes not an option. Additionally, the insurance burden was ALWAYS going to hit my account, whether or not they had their own (in GA, as long as they use my address as their permanent address, my rates increase). That won't change until they get their own houses. One of them was a lot more appreciative than the other. Next time around I WILL NOT provide anything. I like the idea of matching their funds. Partly because I retain a bit of influence (to get a safe car, etc). One of my favorite cars for my kids was our '98 Impreza wagon. Good safety aspects, decent on fuel and expenses, handled well enough to learn well, 5 speed. Looks like crap (been hit multiple times, has mismatched panels, etc.), but looks brand new under the hood. Both my kids learned to drive on it. Not much in the pride or showing off department, but a great basic transport appliance. I'll be looking for something similar for my younger kids.

Not to sound all bigot-y and obstinate, but also keep in mind that regardless of whose money it is, you get a big say in which car is picked, reserve the right to take the keys away for any reason, surprise inspection (i.e. "Your car was looking filthy, so I decided to get up at 7AM on Saturday morning and clean the interior for you...paying special attention to the glove box, ash tray, trunk, and under the seats.")

It's parked on your property after all. I vividly remember watching my brother get stomped after trying to set the "Screw this, I'm outta here" precedent. That stuck with me, and I knew better than to ever try that one.

My son will have the same deal I had - no help with the purchase price, unless he's terrible at being a mechanic, and then we may go as far as to match. We might buy his first tank of gas, and help with repairs, but it all depends on his attitude. If it sucks, he'll get nothing. If he turns out to be an awesome kid, I may help out from time to time. It all really depends on the kid. The trick is, and several here have mentioned it, is to not make the kid feel entitled, and to make them have something substantial invested in it.

My parents bought my first car, a 1994 Ford Escort with no transmission. The deal was, my dad and his friend would fix it's mechanical issues one time. After that it was all on me to maintain and fix if something went wrong. They spent $200 on the broken car and $300 on the transmission.

No idea how things will go with my kids, yet, but I am thinking it will be similar to what was done for me.

I made the Daddy mistake when my oldest was 17. Momma kicked him out, he came to live with me in Tampa. He had dropped out of school, got a job as an alarm installer with one of my friends. We made a deal- he goes back to get his GED, i would give him a cherry 260Z, my baby car. Three months later, I had to repossess the car. Put a hurt on the relationship, but had to do it. He did not even try to keep up his end of the deal.

More from the perspective of the young generation: I want to second what mtn was saying. It's all about college costs nowadays. When all was said and done my undergrad and graduate school cost as much as an Audi R8 (and that was after financial aid). Both my parents and I took out loans to cover it.

The old car I inherited from them was completely insignificant compared to that cost. Also, no part time job for minimum wage would have made a dent.

Financially it made the most sense to focus all my time on school to get the most out of it and get it done the fastest.

That being said I did work part time jobs but only when it made sense (when it was for the university and cancelled part of my tuition)

Meh. I figure my kid will have the same option for college as I did; you get good grades, you get a scholarship (the lottery-funded "Hope Grant" here in GA is pretty awesome, and IIRC, you just have to maintain a B average.) You don't work hard and get good grades, have fun working at the carwash and living in a E36 M3ty apartment (my chosen path.)

I do agree that brand new cars are stupid though. There is a big difference between parents buying themselves a car and the kid inheriting the old one and parents buying a new car for a kid...

In reply to poopshovel: Yeah, you are right. There are multiple options for college/work. I made a choice to go to an expensive college and spend more time there which may never pay back for itself and as such may not have been the best choice. But once that choice was made it made sense for the parents to supply the old car.

I have one child and he bought his first car and insurance for it. I did help in finding the car, a 1963 Buick Special with a 215 V8. At 25 I like to think this experience gave him the degree of responsibilty, maturity and credit rating he enjoys today.

I agree that someone working and having a financial commitment in a car goes a long way in its day to day upkeep and maintenence. But not always......

Dan

Poop hit the nail on the head, that's how you build responsibility and appreciation for a dollar.

I plan on co-buying a haggard car (preferably a Subaru) with each of my children and helping them fix the safety/mechanical issues. They will pay for insurance, registration, gas, maintenance and any upgrades they may desire.