Pratical Jokes and Cars

Similar to MarkZ28's smokescreen...

I was nursing a sick turbo Miata back from California. It had no piston rings left, took us something like 3 gallons of oil to bring it back. Kids, don't let your machine shop use aluminum oxide as a blasting media on your intake manifolds. Anyhow, anytime I got on the throttle to any extent it would throw a huge smokescreen. I was passing a truck while trying to avoid going over about 1/4 throttle. I was over the speed limit when a yellow Integra pasted itself to my rear bumper, close enough that I don't think I could have seen his front plate. So I let the car have full boost, and he completely disappeared from view in the resulting smoke cloud. My boss Bill just about killed himself laughing, he saw it coming.

I once hooked up the nozzle from a cheap squirtgun to a windshield washer pump and aimed it to the right at about ankle height. Didn't throw much water, but it sure puzzled some pedestrians.

I put some Limburgher(sp) cheese in my newly wed friends heater duct in his car. He didn't notice until a col evening and he turned the heat on. His new wife thought he had passed gas.

Had a nieghbor when I was in high school that had a Honda civic, the small, dinky ones. I think 600 coupe. Anyway, it only took 4 of us to lift it. We used to move it up & down the street, put it across the street, on the sidewalk. They used to get mad at us. They finally started parking it the driveway. Too close to the house to risk moving it for us.

A single shrimp can be pretty effective when placed just about anywhere in or on a car, especially in the summer. Ashtray, glove compartment, cowl vent, under the seat, in the muffler. The options are nearly endless. On a hot day, they emit enough of an odor that it's hard to determine where it's coming from.

Some of these pranks really stink.

I've been known to attach a short length of safety wire and a couple washers to the driveshaft of a car. Makes a hell of a racket once underway. Works AWESOME on lieutenants.

I heard of this one a few years ago. Maybe on Cartalk??

It was a long term prank. One of the mechanics at a garage was really hot for improving the mileage that his car got. So they would add gas to his tank, first a gallon, then two, and over the weeks, they kept increasing until this guy was bragging how he DOUBLED his mileage with little things he was doing to his car...

Then they started adding less and less...

Then they started siphoning gas out

Toyman01 wrote: Had a teacher that drove a Rabbit when I was in middle school. Five of us turned her car sideways between two trees. Took her about 10 minutes to jockey it out. We thought it was hilarious. The teacher and principal, not so much.

We did that to our high school Jr. ROTC instructor's Beetle. We picked it up and put it in the middle of the baseball field. He never caught us, but we found out the hard way he used to be a drill instructor when he punished us by making every JROTC class do PT for the next three classes.

My friend used to own a Ford Aerostar van. There were radio contols in the driver's side 2nd row seats, where the door would be if it had a driver's side door. I was in that seat, and my two friends were in the front seats. When the driver hopped out to get gas, I started to fiddle with the controls. The passenger knew what was going on and agreed to keep quiet. When the driver got back in, every time he changed the station on the radio, I would change it to another station, turn up/down the volume, or turn the radio off/on. I did this for about ten minutes. He went apeE36 M3 thinking there was something wrong with his radio while the passenger and I were laughing our asses off. I finally confessed when he started bashing his dashboard trying to fix the radio!

The worst I've heard was a prank my uncle took part in. He's a mechanic who took a friend's Malibu into an alarm shop run by another friend. They programmed an extra key fob to work with the alarm in the car. Every time the Malibu was nearby, they'd press the panic button while he was driving. It got to be too much when a cop pulled the Malibu over when he heard the alarm go off. The Malibu owner was practically in tears when he brought it back to the alarm shop to get it fixed.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.

A guy I worked with at Wal-Mart drove an old Fiesta. His coworkers in the receiving department used to go out on their lunch break and move his car up onto the dividers that are usually filled with mulch and plant life.

To get back at them, one day he brought out some of the clear plastic wrap that they use to keep palids of merchandise together. He wrapped all of their cars in the stuff. I pulled into the parking lot shortly after the festivities, had a good laugh at the tightly-wrapped cars, and went back to work.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

Sheeze. Yeah, picking up a VW Beetle and placing it between two trees, or tipping it up and leaning it on something. Potato in the exhaust pipe, check. Can of tuna wired to the exhaust manifold. A medium sized fish under the carpet works great, as does a small piece of roadkill hidden creatively.

Some kind soul fixed up our escape car at my wedding. Vaseline all over the windshield wipers in conjunction with shaving cream writing on the windshield made for an instant white out.

I knew a couple of guys who worked at the Ford plant in Atlanta. The stories they'd tell about bored guys getting up to mischief on the assembly line... say a Coke bottle suspended on a piece of string dangling inside the passenger's door, or a large nut dropped inside a hollow structural part. Bonus points if you put the nut inside something like a roof reinforcement where the nut could tumble from side to side as the car pulled G's in a turn.

Never did this to anybody else, but I seriously think there is nothing worse than half a pound of squid in the trunk in summer. The smell NEVER goes away. Did that to myself in an otherwise beautiful '73 Riviera. Eewwww.

Zip tie the axle of the car. Position it so that the tail will hit something as it spins for a nice continuous clicking sound.

We did this to one of the guys in our autoshop class and he was set to take it to his mechanic (funny since it was a vocational school, and he was supposed to be training to BE a mechanic...)

Teacher had him pull it in and got the problem figured out pretty quick. He had a good laugh that it took the kid that long to figure out.

Tom Heath said: Works AWESOME on lieutenants.

Is that where that noise is coming from!?

In the service I liived in South Carolina for a while; snakes a plenty. I found a dead snake (dunno what kind) coiled him up and propped his little head in the center and then set him down on two sheets of wax paper. I slid him under my buddy's driver seat.

When he and three friends left I walked them to the car, said goodbyer etc. They zoomed down the street and stopped at the 4-Way 50 yards away. Holy crap you'd think the car was hit by lightning, these guys bailed in a BIG hurry.

Not really a joke, but it snows here. Some kid was boinking the baby sitter across the street and would always park in front of my house every afternoon. The snow plow makes a pass down the center of the street and the once on each curb to push it back. Plowing around this kid's Camaro leaves an additional 5 ft. for me to move. I went over, knocked on the door and politely asked the young man if he could move the car. He starts blistering me about how his Dad is a corporate lawyer, it's public property I can't make him move the car, blah, blah, blah. I know. It's only a request. Eventually he did move it, the plow came by and he landed right back in the same spot.

Imagine what happens when the lead weights fall off your front right and left rear wheels.

Dan

Johnny, what can you make out of this

*This? Why, I can make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl... *

gold Jerry, its comedy Gold!!

RexSeven wrote: The worst I've heard was a prank my uncle took part in. He's a mechanic who took a friend's Malibu into an alarm shop run by another friend. They programmed an extra key fob to work with the alarm in the car. Every time the Malibu was nearby, they'd press the panic button while he was driving. It got to be too much when a cop pulled the Malibu over when he heard the alarm go off. The Malibu owner was practically in tears when he brought it back to the alarm shop to get it fixed.

I used to work at a mom & pop stereo shop that did alarms too... and anytime anyone of our friends (particularly, the installers friends) or an employee would get an alarm/keyless entry installed, he would program an extra keyfob and hang it with a label in his toolbox... so when the friend showed up, bought something, and went to leave, he would unlock his car, and we would relock it before he could open the door... usually he came right back in with "I think there's something wrong with my alarm... "

not really a practical joke, but a story...

I was pulling a customer's Murcielago round from having service done it. On the way out, i had to fart really bad, so i did, thinking it would go away by the time it came up to the service drive... but it didnt. I got out, left the door up, hoping it would air out. He got in and sniffed and said "Whats that?" and i said "oh, thats the clutch breaking in, should smell for a minute or two, but will go away" and he drove off...

One of my roommates is an entomologist. Well, up until a month ago when he was laid off he worked for a pest control company as a lab monkey. When he first started the field guys decided to pull a prank on the new guy. This started a prank war that lasted most of the year and a half he worked there. My favorite was when he was inspired by a show we were watching on probably the History Channel, one of those where they show prototype non-lethal weapons. So, Bob with the help of his boss mixed up a batch of fluon. He then proceeded to apply it to the rear tires of one of the pest contol trucks. He timed a cigarette break to when he knew the driver of that truck was likely to be leaving. The guy gets in fires the truck up and proceed to spin the tires uncontrolably on dry pavement. Zero traction. He gets out looks at he truck look at Bob asks can you fix it? Yep. You gonna tell me how you did it? Nope. 30 seconds and a couple drops of a mild acid on the tire and the guy was under way.

I always liked this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sw2n3N3BkbQ

Young and partying in someone's garage in February, we hosed down Eric's VW Bug every 20 minutes with a fine mist from the garden hose. It was 20 below.

In the morning he's out there with an ax banging away at the ice, bitching because he's gonna be late for work.

Hey, don't be the first one to pass out. A month or so later he crashed on the couch and someone kept giving him shotguns as he slept. He was a mess in the morning.

Hey, don't be the first one to pass out.

My best was retaliation, sorta.

Friend and I with a bunch of people in each car, through a drive-thru. We were throwing snowballs at each other. I totally accidentally hit is open sunroof (seriously, a sunroof when it's 10 out?). He takes offense, and removes my valvestem caps while I am ordering. I didn't chase him, because I knew where he lived. Wegmans was having a sale that day, 80 maxi pads for like 10 bucks. We plastered the cars interior. On the seat adjustment, in the glovebox, in all pockets, sunvisors, pedals, steering wheel etc...

His Mom started the car for him in the morning.

My Dad has one that sounds... rude. He and his buds would travel to Englishtown for the drag race and rent a few cars. One year, they stop and buy a few cans of great stuff. Every crack and crevice (doors, trunk, hood) gets filled. He never did find out what happened to the car.

Keith wrote: Most of these are too destructive to be truly funny to me, but to each their own.

I agree. There's a thin line between a practical joke and being an a$$hole. I think a few of you crossed the line.

When I was a product manager for a large chain of auto parts stores, I had access to lots of free parts, and I was inundated by sales reps who knew nothing about cars. One rep drove a beautiful black Acura, but he had absolutely zero mechanical ability. I installed the most-hideous license plate frame I could find in the sample room on his car--all I needed was a regular screwdriver for the two screws. The rep noticed the tacky frame, but he didn't own a screwdriver (seriously), so he had to leave the frame there until his next oil change, when he asked the tech to remove it for him.

I've also left limburger cheese in the back of a van, but it was in a opened container, where it wouldn't spill or cook to anything.

Stretch wrap is another good prank which I've done. It can be removed easily and quickly.

About 20 years ago, my father had a habit of leaving the keys in his vehicle, on the floor, no matter where he went. One day, I saw his car in a parking lot downtown in a medium-size city. I got in and moved the car to a different lot, on the other side of the street. It took him about 20 minutes to find his car--he just thought he'd forgotten where he parked. I tried this with my wife (I had a spare key to her car). She immediately knew it was me, so I got called out pretty quickly.

I remember being in a road construction slowdown when some asshat did the usual "fly up the closing lane and jam yourself in at the last second" trick a couple cars ahead of me. Just after that we got flagged to a complete stop. The guy who was cut off got out, took the locking gas cap off his own car, and walked up to the the asshat's car. Before the asshat knew what he was doing, our hero popped off the asshat's gas cap and replaced it with the locking cap. The asshat leaned out the window and asked what the hell he's doing. Our hero just smiled, dangled the gas cap key for a second, then threw it as hard as he could into the middle of the construction site.

Even the flag guy was laughing.

I also watched a car at a Taco Bell on a lightly raining night get papier-mached with about 2,000 tray liners. Never learned the back story or the outcome of that one.