Questions for an Autistic

You guys have helped out before with my wife's blog about our son, Deciphering Morgan. I thought you might want to participate in the newest thing.

Morgan wants to answer your questions about Autism and him.

This came out of the blue the other day when we were driving down the road. He is open to answering questions. Obviously we will screen them and transcribe the response but it is a unique situation. The last time he did something like this was with his little brother.

So GRM, you have helped out my family more than you know, maybe Morgan can help you.

You know, I really don't have any questions for your son, but I feel like I should. Why? Because the more and more that I read your wife's blog-about 3 articles every time you post something--I feel more and more like I am somewhere on the Autism spectrum. A lot of his responses in that interview with his brother just made sense to me.

don't have any questions as this is my wife's field and one of my best friends has autism, but this is cool. i think lots of people here could learn a lot about things - like using the R word when they feel the need to label something stupid.

I have a nephew who is autistic. He lives on that "crazy smart curve that does not involve a lot of other peoples input". He is the kind of kid that will pick up a Violin and play it, then walk away and never touch it again.

The question I have always wanted to ask and of course, knowing that the answer is age related and individual specific:

Is autism a gift or a curse?

What keeps him engaged or makes him interested in learning about something, exploring it, and figuring out how it works. And what causes him to be become disinterested in something and withdraw from it?

Also be sure to tell him, although I'm sure he's aware, there's no stigma to be associated with any person, stigmas are only in the heads of other people who perceive them to be there.

In reply to drummerfromdefleopard:

Thank you for your concern, but we have always raised both our boys to never be ashamed of who they are. No matter who that person is. You are responsible for how you act not how you are born.

NOHOME wrote: I have a nephew who is autistic. He lives on that "crazy smart curve that does not involve a lot of other peoples input". He is the kind of kid that will pick up a Violin and play it, then walk away and never touch it again. The question I have always wanted to ask and of course, knowing that the answer is age related and individual specific: Is autism a gift or a curse?

"A gift not a curse. I may cause alot of accidents if it was a curse." (This is verbatim)

(Remember Autistics are very literal thinkers. So your question was,to him, is it cool or something like touching a Mummy)

drummerfromdefleopard wrote: What keeps him engaged or makes him interested in learning about something, exploring it, and figuring out how it works. And what causes him to be become disinterested in something and withdraw from it? Also be sure to tell him, although I'm sure he's aware, there's no stigma to be associated with any person, stigmas are only in the heads of other people who perceive them to be there.

"I don't (shoulder shrugs), I just don't know" (verbatim response)

(I have noticed no pattern other than trains. He loves trains, especially Thomas)

I can also help. I'm 15, and I have Asperger's Syndrome. Ask me anything!

I told you- I talk like this 'cause Jesus made me this way.

I don't really know why, but right in the feels dude.

I'm not sure that I have a question, but I just read the conversation between your sons and it was fascinating. I have a nephew who is autistic and I could imagine him in that conversation. He was always a big Thomas fan as well. He is now 20. I feel as if I understand him a little better now, having read that. Thank you.

I have a question now. Is it difficult to distinguish between fiction and non-fiction?

Do you like the rain?

Not necessarily for your son but what is the connection with Thomas. My friend's son only really only communicates when he's watching it and I know a couple other autistic kids that are really into it.

Wally wrote: Not necessarily for your son but what is the connection with Thomas. My friend's son only really only communicates when he's watching it and I know a couple other autistic kids that are really into it.

There are a few theories about it. The most prevalent one that fits is that the faces show expression and are easy to understand. Autistics tend to have difficulty in this area for some reason and the Thomas characters are very easy to interpret.

Morgan, for what it is worth, is very aware of his differences. He tries to adjust so other people will understand him. He is a social seeker which is a rare thing among Auties.

G_Body_Man wrote: I can also help. I'm 15, and I have Asperger's Syndrome. Ask me anything!

Hey man! My boy is 10. My wife has been diagnosed as an Adult with Asperger's and she swears I am on the spectrum. Ever wanna chat, just reach out.

Having spent as much time under the spectrum radar as I have between my wife's studies and everything else, this is an impressive undertaking. I've not got much else to contribute other than kudos.

And maybe- if there was one thing you wanted people to know about autism (or the most important thing, depending on his literal bent) what would it be?

In reply to The Jeeza:

My concern is always about what the future will bring. Are you concerned about being able to function in the workplace?

The Jeeza wrote:

Wally wrote: Not necessarily for your son but what is the connection with Thomas. My friend's son only really only communicates when he's watching it and I know a couple other autistic kids that are really into it.

There are a few theories about it. The most prevalent one that fits is that the faces show expression and are easy to understand. Autistics tend to have difficulty in this area for some reason and the Thomas characters are very easy to interpret. Morgan, for what it is worth, is very aware of his differences. He tries to adjust so other people will understand him. He is a social seeker which is a rare thing among Auties.

That social thing is exceedingly rare. My aunt has two, and those kids have to be pushed to leave the car. Though, the older of the two was quite into talking grand theft auto with me as a parallel to real locales when it first came out.

gamby wrote: In reply to The Jeeza: My concern is always about what the future will bring. Are you concerned about being able to function in the workplace?

I will answer this one. Mom and I are very scared about this. Once a week we have at least an hour conversation about it.

Morgan is still 10, he wants to be a train engineer, or a chef (he likes to eat), or a police man.

Ask again next week it will change.

wheelsmithy wrote: Do you like the rain?

"...sometimes I don't like the rain" (edited for brevity, quote verbatim)

Woody wrote: I have a question now. Is it difficult to distinguish between fiction and non-fiction?

"fiction is not non-nonfiction and non-fiction is not fiction which means stories are true and not sometimes" (verbatim)

I ask him a follow up question "Is it hard to tell the difference" He said "No" then proceeded to give two examples which both were fiction. He has a hard time sometime if it is a book or on TV.

mndsm wrote: Having spent as much time under the spectrum radar as I have between my wife's studies and everything else, this is an impressive undertaking. I've not got much else to contribute other than kudos. And maybe- if there was one thing you wanted people to know about autism (or the most important thing, depending on his literal bent) what would it be?

"...when I had Autism I was acting a little weird...when I get stimmy I just have to answer it" (edited for brevity, quotes verbatim)

Let me translate. He acts different because of his Autism and when he has to stim (self stimulating behaivor, stim for short.) He can't control it. This is something many therapists want to control in Autistics. He flaps and likes to roll the skin on your elbow (if you want to see how this feels get someone else to come up and roll the skin on your elbow between your thumb and 3 fingers like it was a paper ball to be rolled. Then return the favor.) They try "quite hands" which is something we have never encouraged. It puts stress on him when it he can't stim. Some Auties say that it is physically painful to not stim.

One other thing. This is huge in the community. Person first language. Some people prefer "person with Autism" some prefer "Autistic." Morgan prefers Autistic. He wears it as a badge or honor. One piece of all the things that make him, him.

There are others that look at it as an illness. Like sickle cell anemia. They have it, can't get rid of it, but it doesn't define them.

I just let each person define themselves and then go with that standard. Seems easiest. The fact you care enough to ask seems to be a major milestone for most.

I'm on the very mild end of the spectrum and am lucky to have been forced into a ton of awkward personal situations by my parents. I have two lines of random thought and am mainly curious if I'm not the only one who does or thinks like this.

1) When interacting with other people, I break it down into steps. When I was young, it was a checklist of small talk and greetings. As I got older, I had a series of routines and "protocols" to try when a situation came up that I had experienced before (if it was new, I'd guess and pick one). Now, the subroutines are selected and switched quickly enough to be reasonably fluid if I don't get thrown a curveball. The best way I can describe it is like a jazz solo: a bunch of musical thoughts strung together to fit the mood.

How does your son cope with human interaction? Are there discreet steps to follow, a "plan" which makes things more comfortable? Does he have a completely new and personal way of turning thoughts into action without too much of a lag penalty?

2) As much as I enjoy solitude and hate large social gatherings full of those curveballs, I've recognized how important companionship is to get through life. Letting a close friend or, eventually, a significant other into your stalwart defenses makes weathering the storm that is life much more pleasant. My problem is most normal friends don't get that close to people and "acquire significant other" isn't a subroutine I've been trained in.

Does your son have the same need for other people, especially in the sense of sharing life? Has he worked up the courage to make friends and bring them in closer than they normally would?