Questions for an Autistic

kylini wrote: I'm on the very mild end of the spectrum and am lucky to have been forced into a ton of awkward personal situations by my parents. I have two lines of random thought and am mainly curious if I'm not the only one who does or thinks like this. 1) When interacting with other people, I break it down into steps. When I was young, it was a checklist of small talk and greetings. As I got older, I had a series of routines and "protocols" to try when a situation came up that I had experienced before (if it was new, I'd guess and pick one). Now, the subroutines are selected and switched quickly enough to be reasonably fluid if I don't get thrown a curveball. The best way I can describe it is like a jazz solo: a bunch of musical thoughts strung together to fit the mood. How does your son cope with human interaction? Are there discreet steps to follow, a "plan" which makes things more comfortable? Does he have a completely new and personal way of turning thoughts into action without too much of a lag penalty? 2) As much as I enjoy solitude and hate large social gatherings full of those curveballs, I've recognized how important companionship is to get through life. Letting a close friend or, eventually, a significant other into your stalwart defenses makes weathering the storm that is life much more pleasant. My problem is most normal friends don't get that close to people and "acquire significant other" isn't a subroutine I've been trained in. Does your son have the same need for other people, especially in the sense of sharing life? Has he worked up the courage to make friends and bring them in closer than they normally would?

Morgan is considered a moderate to high functioning Autistic and we have watched him do step 1 and develop it. He scripts off of TV shows because finding his own voice seems really hard for him. He works on it constantly. I have seen it backfire on him. I watched one guy smart off to him when Morgan was trying to talk to him and Morgan just looked at him, shrugged his shoulders and said "I tried" and walked off. I was proud. My response wasn't going to be as gentle. He has his plan and he is perfecting it. He is a sharp kid.

Being a social seeker #2 isn't as big a deal for him but he has his limits. Once he has exhausted them, he wants to be alone.

The Jeeza wrote:

mndsm wrote: Having spent as much time under the spectrum radar as I have between my wife's studies and everything else, this is an impressive undertaking. I've not got much else to contribute other than kudos. And maybe- if there was one thing you wanted people to know about autism (or the most important thing, depending on his literal bent) what would it be?

"...when I had Autism I was acting a little weird...when I get stimmy I just have to answer it" (edited for brevity, quotes verbatim) Let me translate. He acts different because of his Autism and when he has to stim (self stimulating behaivor, stim for short.) He can't control it. This is something many therapists want to control in Autistics. He flaps and likes to roll the skin on your elbow (if you want to see how this feels get someone else to come up and roll the skin on your elbow between your thumb and 3 fingers like it was a paper ball to be rolled. Then return the favor.) They try "quite hands" which is something we have never encouraged. It puts stress on him when it he can't stim. Some Auties say that it is physically painful to not stim.

Yeah, I am well versed in the art of stims. Kid my wife worked with was a huge flapper for a long time. His parents HATED it. He was ambivalent, which put my wife in a hard place. Eventually, the stims got redirected. He was a huge superhero person (marvel, DC) and he would move on to watching videos of them on YouTube. It was interesting stuff.

My best friend (since we were in 5th grade) is on the spectrum, and her son has Asperger's. I can totally understand his challenges, since the things that bug him bother me too, just to a lesser degree. He's a lot smarter than I am though. And holy poo – I could have written your wife's last blog post myself. Kindred spirits.