Quote of the day: a thread for things that aren't necessarily motivational

Karacticus said:

It's like my mom always told me...

"You might not be the dumbest guy in the world, but you better hope he doesn't die."

That's a prize winner. 

Pretty much anything by Yogi Berra...

1. When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

2. You can observe a lot by just watching.

3. It ain’t over till it’s over.

4. It’s like déjà vu all over again.

5. No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded.

6. Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical.

7. A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.

8. Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.

9. We made too many wrong mistakes.

10. Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.

Stolen from the Meme thread as I deemed it fitting:

"We need a bunch of guys to panic and run around doing things that don't make sense." 

"Boy, the guy who built this place really took the 'rough' part of 'rough carpentry' to heart" - My father, regarding the house I bought.

"Your stupid" -My dad after I said I'm getting a Stratocaster when my Les Paul broke

so frighteningly accurate

Truth is like poetry, 

Most people berkeleying hate poetry.

Quoted in the Big Short, felt especially true today after explaining how banks use our money to someone who was more than upset to learn about it.

"Opinions are like testicles. You kick them hard enough, doesn't matter how many you got." - Varric

"Yes but, stupid people often have the same ideas" my kid sister after my Dad and I congratulated ourselves on what we assumed was a stroke of brilliance since great mind think alike.

I would rather remove a duct tape thong like it was breakaway pants than be seen in one of those!

My brother just now about a cheap smart car i found for him.

"The black flag for having your hard top fly off is priceless. For everything else, there's Mastercard."

Always have yourself in a position to be able to look a man in the eye and tell him to go to hell.

Was? There is no plan that was. Every plan still is. - Brian Scotto

"Not only did these cowboys fart,  but they did so with ill intent."

 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzMFoNZeZm0 (around 11:15)

"I don't think this Wally guy actually exists. I think he's your Tyler Durden." - My friend Drew

In reply to NickD :

Berking brilliant !

"Whenever I'm feeling low, I think of Roy Orbison berkeleying." - Norm Macdonald 

"Congratulations on making your last student loan payment August 1st 2022."

"Its a Usain Bolt paint job. Becsuse it's running so much."

“One called and said, ‘Oh, my God, do we need to cancel mother’s funeral?'" Holland said. “I just told them, ‘No, life’s going to go on.'

Beer Baron said:

there would be a big bulge in the middle that is probably highest *just* left of center

Ok ok it was out of context but it had me giggling.

"If you get kicked in the balls every day...maybe you're the problem." - Tom Bailey

"It's like riding inside of a bobblehead" - Me, describing what it's like autocrossing the Yaris.

Guest: It's got 10-piston calipers

Gary King: What the berkeley are you stopping, world hunger?