A co-worker and I were talking about long guns today, and while he went on about his plans to tacticool up an SKS I recalled the legacy of quite possibly the greatest Russian firearm expert and/or internet troll of all time: Ivan Chesnokov.
I think a few others on this board have mentioned him in passing before, but for those of you who aren't familiar, hoo boy...if bursting out into laughter at work is frowned upon you may want to hold off on reading any of Ivan's sage advice.
http://www.m1-garand-rifle.com/ivan-chesnokov.php
First time I've heard about this guy...that was a fun read!
I'm not sure if Ivan would have approved of changes I did to a PSL-54C I had...LOL While it was a fun gun to shoot, it just is not put together well and will never be a precision rifle.
And sorry Ivan, but I'd go with a 'Nazi' HK 91 clone (PTR-91 specifically) any time over an AK system rifle...
"DIRECT IMPUNCHMENT IS SAME AS RIFLE E36 M3S WHERE HE EATS."
That's the best explanation I ever heard.
Brian
MegaDork
3/25/16 2:13 p.m.
I made it to the 5.7 part. It is amazing. I need to look at SKS's again.
Pretty good.
I totally agree with his opinion on ammo size-
"MAN WHO ARGUES ONE SHOT DEATH BY PROUD MILITARY CALIBERS IS berkeleyING FOOL. I EXPLAIN WHY.
THIS MAN LOOKS FOR PISTOL TO HIDE ON PERSON TO SHOOT MAN FROM STREET WHO WOULD DO CRIME TO HIM. MAN WHO WOULD DO CRIME IS NOT LIKE BANZAI CHARGE OF JAPANESE INFANTRY. HE IS NOT IN "GROUND OF DEATH" FROM EPISTLE OF WISE SUN TZU. MAN WHO WOULD DO CRIME IS NOT FIGHTING FOR LIFE OR FREEDOM OF PEOPLE. HE FIGHT ONLY FOR THINGS, HE CAN GET SOMEWHERE ELSE FROM SOMEONE ELSE. THIS MAN DOES NOT FIGHT TO DEATH. THIS MAN FIGHT ONLY UNTIL IS CLEAR MAN WITH PISTOL RESISTS AND SO HE RUN AWAY.
PISTOL OF 9 MILLIMETERS OR CALIBER OF .45 IS GREAT SHOCKING HOLE IN BODY. IS GIANT SPOUT OF BLOOD AND PAIN OF MORTAL WOUND. MORE MEN DIE FROM BULLET OF THESE TWO CALIBERS THAN ALL OTHERS IN HISTORY OF WORLD.
I ADVISE AND YOU LISTEN. LAST TIME ARMY CARRY BAD PISTOL INTO COMBAT WAS NAMBU OF JAPANESE EMPIRE. SINCE THAT TIME MILLIONS OF MEN CARRY PISTOL OF 9 MILLIMETERS. IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM WITH STUPID GENEVA TREATY BALL BULLET. IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU WITH TEN ROUBLES PER CARTRIDGE HOLLOW NOSE BULLET AND FANCY BRASS OF NICKEL PLATING. YOU PRACTICE WITH MANY MAGAZINE, YOU CARRY MANY CARTRIDGE. WHEN MAN WAVES GUN AT YOU, FILL HIM WITH BULLETS FAST AND STRAIGHT. MORE HOLES IS BETTER THAN BIG HOLES. CARRY PISTOL WITH LARGE MAGAZINE AND MANY CARTRIDGE.
IN THIS WAY YOU DEFEAT CRIMINAL. "
There is no way you cannot read that in broken, stereotypical Russian.
"Two in the body, one in the head. Always leaves your target dead" 
Appleseed wrote:
There is no way you cannot read that in broken, stereotypical Russian.
That's how was reading it...LOL
Really enjoyed this. Thanks.
In reply to pointofdeparture:
My wife is annoyed that I woker her up because I failed miserably at stifling my laughter. I told her to blame you but she wouldn't hear any of it.
I forgot where I first saw this but I did post the one screenshot to Rally Anarchy.
Go to firing range. Practice with many magazine of cartridge.
It applies to driving, too!
Jay_W
Dork
3/26/16 7:30 p.m.
"LARGE MOUND FORMS OVER SIMONOV'S GRAVE BY CONSTANT TUMBLING OF HIS ANGRY CORPSE. IS FAULT OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU."
OMG comedy gold. Bookmarked... how did I not know about this guy, fwded to an appreciative audience...
Appleseed wrote:
There is no way you cannot read that in broken, stereotypical Russian.
LOL doing it already...Russian broken English is the best broken English 
Favorite lines:
"YOU LOOK FOR SHARP EDGE ON RIFLING OF BARREL. YOU NOTICE AND AVOID BARREL IF HAS POCKMARKS LIKE ASS OF FAT GIRL."
"IF ONLY IS WOOD MISSING, IS NOT SUCH BIG PROBLEM. GOOD SEARCH CAN FIND WOOD ALREADY SHAPED, OR REAL MAN CAN MAKE NEW WOOD WITH HANDS AND TOOLS OF WOOD."
Is this the same Ruski that made a shovel into an AK, starting with just an AK barrel and receiver?
HappyAndy wrote:
Is this the same Ruski that made a shovel into an AK, starting with just an AK barrel and receiver?
JUST BECAUSE MIKHAIL'S DESIGN SO RUGGED THAT YOU CAN HAMMER SHOVEL INTO RECEIVER AND HAVE IT WORK DOES NOT MEAN IS GOOD IDEA. IVAN THINK BETTER USE OF SHOVEL IS TO BURY MAN WHO MAKE MOCKERY OF AK.
In reply to MadScientistMatt:
See, there are no possessives, so you must write it as DESIGN OF MIKHAIL KALASHNIKOV. And there needs to be more flowery descriptiveness like HAMMER SHOVEL OF GLORIOUS REVOLUTION INTO RECIEVER OF IZHEVSK MECHANICAL WORKS.
That was a funny read. In between laughing bouts, it was pretty clear to me that the guy knows a lot about firearms.
I read it when I was on a rather bad mood and still got a few chuckles.
