RSVP or not?

So, every year (this is only the third one) I host a big ol photo-scavenger hunt. I ask for folks to RSVP ASAP because there's a lot of planning, and knowing the number in advance is nice. Anyway, I mentioned to my wife today that not many people have RSVPd yet. Normally I would think that I just throw a sucktacular event and nobody wants to come. But it's a huge hit every year. Anyway, in response to my confusion about the lack of RSVP my wife says "people just don't RSVP. Just gotta roll with it."
HUH

If "nobody RSVPs" then why do those 4 letters exist? Anyway, my question is: am I just an out of touch old man? Do people really not RSVP? If people don't RSVP, how do you throw an event that you need to know how many are attending?

I'm not lamenting the fact that few have RSVPd (I'm sure they will), just confused as to why "RSVP" exists.

I'm 31, wife is 28.......we RSVP when asked.

People are just growing more and more inconsiderate and inwardly focused.

z31maniac wrote: People are just growing more and more inconsiderate and inwardly focused.

This, I still RSVP.

if asked for I always RSVP ... usually will even if not asked for

Well, this seems like a good opportunity to teach them the result of not RSVPing.

aircooled wrote: Well, this seems like a good opportunity to teach them the result of not RSVPing.

Word.

Always RSVP. But I'm all old fashioned and think about other people & E36 M3.

I think too many people are unable to plan that far ahead. It's very rare for me personally to be able to commit 100% to attending an event, unless it's something significant.

That said, I wouldn't show up without RSVPing either.

I RSVP. That is what you are supposed to do. It is the considerate thing to do, because it lets whoever is organizing plan how big of an event they have to prepare for.

I believe in changing the expectation from having to give a solid "yes" or "no". If I do not have to pay ahead of time, I like the options to say "Probably" or "Maybe". I want to be able to give the organizer the right information to work with, and I neither want to bail or crash unexpectedly. (Like what Pete said about not always being able to plan that far ahead, especially if I am RSVP'ing for myself and SWMBO.)

I don't get invited to the type of things that involve RSVPs.
but if I did, I would.

My invitation must have got lost in the mail, otherwise I would have RSVPed

went to a friends surprise bday party a few weeks ago... apparently over 1/2 the guests didn't bother to RSVP

We generally RSVP unless its a last minute thing of course.

It seems like the folks in my age group (around 30) have too much going on in their lives to commit so soon OR they want to wait and see if there is something more worthwhile to do and then say they're coming at the last minute.

That seems to becoming more commonplace around here.

Always RSVP.

If you aren't sure, make sure you let them know. Depending on the level of preparation/expense needed for the person throwing the event you may or may not be better off just not going if you can't solidly commit. If in doubt, ask.

Doesn't seem to complicated to me.

SyntheticBlinkerFluid wrote: OR they want to wait and see if there is something more worthwhile to do and then say they're coming at the last minute. That seems to becoming more commonplace around here.

There ya go. The "oh we're so busy" is such a crock.

I'm 34, She's 32. We always RSVP if paper or electronically (use facebook for a lot of family events)

I always RSVP whether it's yes or no, and then if I am going to have to back out I try to give as much warning as possible. I had to deal with this recently when SWMBO and I made it official and got married. It was astounding to me the number of people who did not bother RSVP of the ~70 invites we sent out roughly 20 did not respond. Making it more awkward to plan for is the number of people who said "yes" we are coming and then didn't make it. We had a perfect day and a lot of extra food and drink.

SyntheticBlinkerFluid wrote: It seems like the folks in my age group (around 30) have too much going on in their lives to commit so soon

Maybe it's because I'm a decade past 30, but I don't get this mentality. If I am invited to something on the 30th of a given month I'll look at my calendar. If I don't have anything going, I'll commit.....because I don't have anything going. To say "I'm soo busy I don't know if I can go on that day, even though nothing else is planned" is stoopid.

SyntheticBlinkerFluid wrote: OR they want to wait and see if there is something more worthwhile to do and then say they're coming at the last minute. That seems to becoming more commonplace around here.

If I knew that were the case, then those self-centered people would simply never be invited to anything I host.

None of that was an attack on you, thanks for your perspective.

In reply to Logdog: I was going to invite you but, remember that costume party I threw a few months back? Well, when you showed up horrifically nude and said "my costume is none" you were put on the 'never getting another invitation!' list.

Zomby Woof wrote:

aircooled wrote: Well, this seems like a good opportunity to teach them the result of not RSVPing.

Word.

The problem is, it just looks like you're an idiot who can't plan ahead, and the boorish dicks who show up unannounced never even notice it's their fault.

Duke wrote:

Zomby Woof wrote:

aircooled wrote: Well, this seems like a good opportunity to teach them the result of not RSVPing.

Word.

The problem is, it just looks like you're an idiot who can't plan ahead, and the boorish dicks who show up unannounced never even notice it's their fault.

no... you just tell the people that didn't bother to respond that they can't join in the fun when they show up.. this would seem to be especially effective if they came from a long ways away..

novaderrik wrote:

Duke wrote:

Zomby Woof wrote:

aircooled wrote: Well, this seems like a good opportunity to teach them the result of not RSVPing.

Word.

The problem is, it just looks like you're an idiot who can't plan ahead, and the boorish dicks who show up unannounced never even notice it's their fault.

no... you just tell the people that didn't bother to respond that they can't join in the fun when they show up.. this would seem to be especially effective if they came from a long ways away..

I'm really, REALLY thinking about doing this.

DrBoost wrote:

SyntheticBlinkerFluid wrote: It seems like the folks in my age group (around 30) have too much going on in their lives to commit so soon

Maybe it's because I'm a decade past 30, but I don't get this mentality. If I am invited to something on the 30th of a given month I'll look at my calendar. If I don't have anything going, I'll commit.....because I don't have anything going. To say "I'm soo busy I don't know if I can go on that day, even though nothing else is planned" is stoopid.

SyntheticBlinkerFluid wrote: OR they want to wait and see if there is something more worthwhile to do and then say they're coming at the last minute. That seems to becoming more commonplace around here.

If I knew that were the case, then those self-centered people would simply never be invited to anything I host. None of that was an attack on you, thanks for your perspective.

Oh no problem. This is just my observation. It sucks too, because my wife and I are the type of people who RSVP. We have some really selfish friends. It's a berkeleying Catch-22, if we invite them, we get the runaround with a possible no-show, if we don't invite them, they get pissed at us and then we had to deal with that BS for a long period afterwards.

Next time put on the invite:

RSVP, or I will show up at your house and do burnouts in your driveway at 3:00am. If you don't know what RSVP is, google it motherberkeleyer!

z31maniac wrote: There ya go. The "oh we're so busy" is such a crock.

Ya, I'm kind of curious as to even what being "busy" entails that you can't plan ahead. Busy to me would indicate that you have E36 M3 going on already aka it's been PLANNED. Whose life is so overwhelmingly complicated that something could "randomly" come up at the exact time of an event that you had planned out 2 + weeks in advance?

So you either have the time or don't have the time, RSVP or don't. If you are holding out, then you're just a prick who is a waste of time IMO.

HiTempguy wrote:

z31maniac wrote: There ya go. The "oh we're so busy" is such a crock.

Ya, I'm kind of curious as to even what being "busy" entails that you can't plan ahead. Busy to me would indicate that you have E36 M3 going on already aka it's been PLANNED. Whose life is so overwhelmingly complicated that something could "randomly" come up at the exact time of an event that you had planned out 2 + weeks in advance?

These responses puzzle me to a certain extent. I can think of a half dozen good answers to that without even trying. Work schedules that aren't fixed that far out are right at the top of the list, and pretty damn common. Wasn't even that hard to come up with. Maybe some thought before assuming the worst of someone would be in order. Courtesy works both ways. If you want them to be respectful of you and your time/schedule, maybe the reverse should be true as well.