Sharks With Lasers and other animal based weapon platforms

I read somewhere that somebody once concieved a landmine that contained both a small nuclear warhead and a live chicken. I definitely need to go find that article again now.

Edit: Found it. Popular Mechanics article on the "Blue Peacock" mine

Apparently the idea was to bury 10 kiloton warhead with a chicken and give the chicken enough food to live for 8 days. When the chicken died, it's warmth wouldn't be enough to keep the trigger electronics from failing and triggering the warhead. 

They exploited a faulty design as an intentional mode of triggering the bomb and used live chickens as a short term bandaid. This is even better than I thought.

barefootskater said:

I was thinking on my bee-grenade suggestion and the big problem is supply. They say bees are going away. 
So we need supply. Cheap supply. Possibly an invasive species. These damn pigeons we have (European ring-necked doves, iirc) come to mind. Not super stealthy (noise, damn them) but numerous and airborne. Geese seem to be fairly aggressive, and they fly in formation, and have quite a range. 
I say something with geese. Line their beaks with razor blades and set them loose?

Lack of bees could be a problem, agreed. Maybe if we are weaponizing insects we go with mosquitoes? There never seems to be too little of them.

Razor Mouth Gosling is also a great band name btw......and a terrifying mental image

RevRico said:

Is this limited to just animal mounted weaponry because We can remote control the animals themselves.

A pack of sharks controlled by a targeting AI?

Defensive grizzly bears and wolves around the house?

Hmm.....I have wondered how having a herd(flock?) Of Cassowary domesticated and roaming my land would help on the defense front.

Ever seen a Cassowary in person? Dinosaurs walk the earth.....

In reply to Daylan C (Forum Supporter) :

The Russians used dog mines in the war. Train the dog that meat is to be found under tanks, then take it to the front, strap a bomb to it, and point it at the Germans. Dog finds tank, runs underneath it for dinner, and the top-mounted fuse (magnetic, IIRC) detonates the explosive under the tank. I'm sure with modern miniaturization this technique could be employed with tactical atomic weapons.

Either GM blackflies to be more heat tolerant, or knit little vests for greenhead flies. That's all I have. 

Peace sells, but who's buying? 

Also, I love you guys.  I haven't laughed this hard in weeks.

Antihero (Forum Supporter) said:

barefootskater said:

I was thinking on my bee-grenade suggestion and the big problem is supply. They say bees are going away. 
So we need supply. Cheap supply. Possibly an invasive species. These damn pigeons we have (European ring-necked doves, iirc) come to mind. Not super stealthy (noise, damn them) but numerous and airborne. Geese seem to be fairly aggressive, and they fly in formation, and have quite a range. 
I say something with geese. Line their beaks with razor blades and set them loose?

Lack of bees could be a problem, agreed. Maybe if we are weaponizing insects we go with mosquitoes? There never seems to be too little of them.

 

Razor Mouth Gosling is also a great band name btw......and a terrifying mental image

Mosquitos are already weaponized.  For themselves.  

(jokes aside, I think I've seen a stat that they have killed more people than wars....)

Conceptual question....

Do you take animals that are already considered dangerous?  Like Sharks, Bears, Sasquach, etc

Or ones that we all think are super cute or just like to eat bird food?  Like birds, squirrels, koala bears, rabbits, etc?

Or ones we never think about but are all around us?  groundhogs, possums, etc?

We've seen how bad rabbits can be- you need a holy hand grenade to beat them.  

In reply to Keith Tanner :

It absolutely would.  We’d need a variable trim system to pump water out / in as needed to stay neutrally buoyant.  Fun fact, common loons have swim bladders to do just this so we may need to consider a shift in the platform.  Plus, flight! (Well after a long takeoff run, maybe.)

ManBearPig

ChrisLS8 said:

Appleseed said:

That dude is about to scope the hell out of himself.

In reply to Daylan C (Forum Supporter) :

Variations on bird brained ideas: https://youtu.be/mnKyOfNuSoo.  Pigeon guidance system. 

Appleseed said:

In reply to Antihero (Forum Supporter) :

Crabo Stabo.

EastCoastMojo (Forum Supporter) said:

Peace sells, but who's buying? 

Also, I love you guys.  I haven't laughed this hard in weeks.

A bit of laughter is what we all need in this time.

Maybe I'll create some weird thought provoking post every week until it's all over,  like....The McRib: Food or Satanic "Pork" Pattie?

In reply to Run_Away (Wears Clogs) :

LMFAO

alfadriver (Forum Supporter) said:

Conceptual question....

Do you take animals that are already considered dangerous?  Like Sharks, Bears, Sasquach, etc

Or ones that we all think are super cute or just like to eat bird food?  Like birds, squirrels, koala bears, rabbits, etc?

Or ones we never think about but are all around us?  groundhogs, possums, etc?

We've seen how bad rabbits can be- you need a holy hand grenade to beat them.  

If they are cute and cuddly chances are people won't notice the bunny sized tactical nuke strapped to their back.

Nuke Bunnies......a cuddly but dangerous addition to Jurassic Park......

Antihero (Forum Supporter) said:

Keith Tanner said:

I think we were making real progress on the shark lasers.

Tactical Nuclear Dolphin was suggested as a band name. Heck, I might have to start a band just to use it.

You should if not....ill write an instrumental titled it, it must not go to waste!

Interstellar Sledgehammer with their new single Tactical Nuclear Dolphin would be a YouTube sensation even if it was nothing but 8-minutes of droning an open-E. 

Turtles are basically nature's bulldozers, and they're already armored, so those are both pluses. However, they have horrible eyesight. They do camouflage extremely well in the brush though. 
 

Seagulls could be pretty effective. All you'd have to do is drop some bread on your enemy & they'd get pecked to bits even if the lasers missed. 

In reply to Pete Gossett :

I mean.....I do like to play some Doom and you just described some Doom songs.

Told the wife and she started wondering if she can make her saxophone sound like a screaming tactical dolphin.....

Pete Gossett said:

Turtles are basically nature's bulldozers, and they're already armored, so those are both pluses. However, they have horrible eyesight. They do camouflage extremely well in the brush though. 
 

Seagulls could be pretty effective. All you'd have to do is drop some bread on your enemy & they'd get pecked to bits even if the lasers missed. 

Seagulls! Nature's bombers!

Antihero (Forum Supporter) said:

In reply to Pete Gossett :

Told the wife and she started wondering if she can make her saxophone sound like a screaming tactical dolphin.....

Pleasepleaseplease do this!

Also: Trioscapes - skip to about 40-seconds for screaming dolphin noises  

Molotov cocktail hurling lemurs. 

Antihero (Forum Supporter) said:

EastCoastMojo (Forum Supporter) said:

Peace sells, but who's buying? 

Also, I love you guys.  I haven't laughed this hard in weeks.

A bit of laughter is what we all need in this time.

 

Maybe I'll create some weird thought provoking post every week until it's all over,  like....The McRib: Food or Satanic "Pork" Pattie?

Satanic Pork Patty has a certain ring to it...is this the “B” side of Tactical Nuclear Dolphin?

Appleseed said:

Offtopic, if you're ever ridden pirates of the Caribbean at wdw, there's a scene right at the beginning where a crab is snapping at a skeleton. I am convinced it needs a knife. Swmbo agrees.