So, on the way home last night...

I ended up lined up next to this riced-out Civic hatch, complete with ill-fitting body kit, ricer wing, and requisite fartcan muffler. I've seen this car around occasionally, driven (quite rudely) by Beavis and his sideman Butthead. This car is just a base-model Civic, as evidenced by the VTEC decals in places that Honda never puts them, on cut coils and blown shocks. They're at a red light in the left-hand straight lane, no other cars around/clear view in all directions. As I approach from behind, I can hear him revving it from a hundred feet back, waiting for the light. I actually needed to turn left at this intersection, but at the last second the little devil on my left shoulder whispered, "Take him," and I moved to the right-hand lane next to him. I'm in my 2002 Escort Sedan SLEEPER (balanced/blueprinted bottom end per Improved Touring specs, custom-ground camshaft and top end ported WAY beyond the IT 1 inch rule, and steady-state dyno tuned). The only visual hints that all is not as it seems with my Escort are the 205/50-15s and that it sits about 1-1/4 inch lower than stock. However, my exhaust note with the header, 2-1/4 inch pipe, Magnaflow cat, and Flowmaster Delta 40 muffler, is shall we say, a bit racey-sounding when I give it a tachup to 5 or 6 grand. So, I slid up next to Beavis and Butthead in their Fart Can Civic, gave them an ear-splitting rev to the fuel cut-off (which makes it pop and crackle as it revs back down to idle), and looked over at them and grinned. He revs back his "Let's Do It," so I give him a wink and turn to back to face the light. It was all over before I was half-way through 2nd gear, so I backed off and hoped he would want to chat at the next light a mile down. But, in true ricer fashion he turned off into a neighborhood instead of facing the Shame of the Escort. I hummed "Shutdown" the rest of the way home, but changed the words a little: "The base-model Civic's windin' out in low, but he's falling behind, he's got no 'VTEC, Yo!'. To get the traction I'm ridin' the clutch, the Ricer can't hack it, my machine's too much!" YES it was illegal, but it was also a perfectly safe set-up in this instance and I wouldn't have even considered it, otherwise. I couldn't not do it, this time. I know I should "feel guilty" for this infraction, but I just can't make myself feel it. So, you guys got motoring confessions in a similar vein?

Most of my similar stories involve taching up like that and then leaving the line at a comfortable 1900 rpm while Derpy Doodle in his rice wagon screams off in a cloud of blow-by smoke, tire-rub shavings, and body kit chips.

More than once I've had the pleasure of seeing Officer Friendly flip on his lights and spoil someone's day in short order.

Last week I got chewed out by a cop who was on foot in a parking lot that I drove through. He may have had some issue with the launch I used to get across the busy traffic lane. It went a lot like "You want to keep this thing? I will Tow da hell outta it! If my kid had been walking out of those parked cars, we wouldn't be havin' such a nice friendly conversation!" "Yes sir. Sorry Sir."

First time I've ever been stopped by a cop on foot.

In reply to WildScotsRacing:

I've had a similar vs Honda ricer experience with my old SAAB c900 turbo sedan. The SAAB had very mild turbo and fuel system tuning, I doubt it was more than 15 HP over bone stock, but it spooled up real quick, and was happy to run right up to the rev limiter in the lower gears.

My ricer opponent slinked away in silence too.

Yeah.. so I drive a minivan...

In reply to Fueled by Caffeine:

So? I drive a big, fat wagon.

Granted, it's got a Hemi, with headers and Flowmasters, and a well-proven CAI.

I've been tempted, too. Surprised a guy in an S2000. He didn't think a fat wagon could run that fast.

RealMiniParker wrote: In reply to Fueled by Caffeine: So? I drive a big, fat wagon. Granted, it's got a Hemi, with headers and Flowmasters, and a well-proven CAI. I've been tempted, too. Surprised a guy in an S2000. He didn't think a fat wagon could run that fast.

and mine is underpowered and slow.. I'm just jealous.

Fueled by Caffeine wrote:

RealMiniParker wrote: In reply to Fueled by Caffeine: So? I drive a big, fat wagon. Granted, it's got a Hemi, with headers and Flowmasters, and a well-proven CAI. I've been tempted, too. Surprised a guy in an S2000. He didn't think a fat wagon could run that fast.

and mine is underpowered and slow.. I'm just jealous.

I betcha we could come up with a GRM fix for that condition for you Sleepers rule!

Slips or it didn't happen

My next project is the 2000 RAV4. I'm going to put a soccer ball sticker on one side of the back window and a stick figure family on the other. And a fake BOV, the cheesy-ist I can find. And this:

In reply to HappyAndy:

When I was working one of my college summer jobs, I'd end up next to a Saab 9000 (forget the letters behind it, but it was the top spec one) merging onto the highway at least a couple times a week on average. I'd get out at 2:30 in the afternoon, so there was little traffic around and we'd usually run a couple of pulls from a 40mph or so roll if we saw each other. I had a Volvo 850 turbo at the time, with nothing more than a boost controller. He had an exhaust at least, but probably not much else. Whoever got the jump off the line usually won, it was a pretty even match. We'd usually exchange a thumbs up and nice laugh before I took my exit. Good times, I like Swedish car people

That car was actually a pretty decent sleeper and embarrassed a few ricers in its day, but I don't remember any specific instances.

I had another 850 in high school, this one an N/A 5 speed. At one point (the week before junior prom actually, much to the chagrin of my date ) the exhaust totally rusted out behind the cat and was henceforth removed. The result was the loudest damn Volvo you ever heard, which 17 year old me equated with awesomeness. I once rolled up next to non-stock sounding Cummins dually Ram at a stoplight and proceeded to do the juvenile rev the piss out of my car thing at him. He then absolutely smoked me when the light turned green, both literally and figuratively. My buddies got a good laugh out of it and I couldn't help but laugh too

My Camaro is the first legitimately pretty fast car I've ever owned, so the first couple weeks I had it were pretty entertaining. My girlfriend was still living in DC at the time and on the return trip of the Camaro's first visit down there I happened to have an R35 GTR come up behind me. Naturally, I had to provoke him a bit to see how I stacked up, knowing full well I was going to lose. And man did I ever, the dude just ran away like I had thrown it in reverse by mistake. That's when I learned the difference between fast and berkeleyING FAST

Fueled by Caffeine wrote: Yeah.. so I drive a minivan...

yeah, i laid waste to someone in a 328 bmw yesterday that wanted to jump me at the light and cut in front of me(i can only assume this because they cut the person off behind me only to slam on their brakes and turn right)..... in my 4x4 avalanche.

I was coming home from a long road-trip in my 1997 M3 one night. Some older guy in a Chysler 200 was next to me on US 1, and every time we'd get stopped at a light, he'd tear off. I was tired, and didn't play.....why would I?

I pull up next to him a few lights later, and he yells out his window "that thing (my car) is slow!" being kind of a dick about it. I said "yep....especially when I'm not racing"

stupid people are everywhere......

In reply to Joe Gearin:

quietly peals E36M3 silhouette decal off of the front fender of his 200.

WildScotsRacing wrote:

Fueled by Caffeine wrote:

RealMiniParker wrote: In reply to Fueled by Caffeine: So? I drive a big, fat wagon. Granted, it's got a Hemi, with headers and Flowmasters, and a well-proven CAI. I've been tempted, too. Surprised a guy in an S2000. He didn't think a fat wagon could run that fast.

and mine is underpowered and slow.. I'm just jealous.

I betcha we could come up with a GRM fix for that condition for you Sleepers rule!

Love to.. if I mess up my wifes ride she'll kill me.

Couple of months back I committed a Mazda on Mazda crime.

My buddy in his STX RX-8 discovered that the CSPish Miata is pretty zippy up to about 70. I led him by a car length until then. Fun times to Hoon just a bit on a empty back highway late at night.

RealMiniParker wrote: In reply to Fueled by Caffeine: So? I drive a big, fat wagon. Granted, it's got a Hemi, with headers and Flowmasters, and a well-proven CAI. I've been tempted, too. Surprised a guy in an S2000. He didn't think a fat wagon could run that fast.

That big fat wagon scoots pretty good if my memory serves me right. It didn't have any problems leaving a light last week.

In reply to WildScotsRacing:

In all fairness he may have thought you were going to whack him with a stick.

Me: e36 M3 dedicated track car with a license plate. Completely stickered for doing NASA TT events, roll bar, seats, the whole deal. Most likely it was driving on Hoosier R6s. 2 guys in a beater/riced Integra have followed me and tried to bait me into racing for a couple miles. Finally, we get a favorable light and the kid is revving it and getting ready to launch. As the other light goes yellow I hold it at about 5k, which is deafening, and as the light goes green...

I lift and let the kid go screeching off, and drive normally to the next light.

I was at a light in a beautiful new Orion. 40ft long, shiny white paint, picked up girls by the dozen. A red Diablo pulls up next to us. Two young boys sitting behind me catch the driver's eyes and he blips the throttle getting the kids excited. The light turns green and we get a jump on him. We lumber away the four cylinder Detroit winding up as we try to put some distance one the Lambo. He is closing on us with an ungodly wail echoing of the tall buildings on either side. The boys and old ladies cheering me on as Mr Lamborghini puts on a show of sight and sound while somehow staying neck and neck with us. All too soon I had to make my way to the curb to pick up some waiting customers and with a wave, beep of his horn and two very wide black stripes on the pavement he was gone. I can only imagine he did some awful damage to a very expensive clutch/gearbox but he made a couple little kids day. They laughed all the way to their destination about how we were beating a Lambo until we had to stop.

Not quite the same type of encounter, but once I was cruising along at just under triple digit speed in my '88 SAAB c900 turbo coupe, on a road known to many driving enthusiasts in the area as the -(location redacted)- autobahn, a five mile stretch of well paved straight, smooth and level 6 lane highway with no opportunities for speed traps on the north bound side.

I'm feeling like hot stuff, giving my car some fith gear exercise with the tach in the sweet spot and the turbo whistling happily in the early evening cool air, when a black FD RX7 blasts past me like I was standing still! It looked like the exhaust pipe was glowing red hot for the second or two that I could see it in the dusk time lighting.

Five or six years ago I was driving my supercharged S2000, which dynoed at 390 rwhp on Dyno Dynamics (heartbreaker dyno). This is on a stretch of road where there are only farms and almost no traffic at that time.

Along comes the same Civic like the OP mentioned. Late 90s hatchback, riced out and looking like it was going to fall apart. It also had the lightened rear bumper with the round holes.

He started pacing me and tried to get me to race. I finally got tired and slowed down to about 15mph (55 mph speed limit) and we lined up. I thought we start in second gear, halfway to third its finished and I can keep driving home happy.

Well, that berkeleyer had a rocket inside that car. I never even saw it, I never had a chance. My car a month or so back did a 12.3 @ 115 at the track. This guy had to be running high 10s or very low 11s.

A few miles down the road, we stop at a light and get to chatting. It was a kid in his late teens maybe early 20s. Very cool kid.

He had a worked over K20 in the car.

Never underestimate those riced out Civics.

I picked a fight with an older gentleman in a 996 Carrera with my Saturn.....when he finally got around me all you could hear was turbine noise and the crack from the 1ft balls of fire out the exhaust.

We both stopped at the same gas station and chatted for a bit, guy had a 600+hp twin turbo engine built for it. Still RWD though, I commended him for it appearing damn near stock.

I remember this one time right after I got my brand new 1985 Toyota 4x4 that I almost got in a race. I was sitting at a red light with my girlfriend Jennifer. We were getting ready for a weekend at the lake. Right then Needles pulls up in his red Ford truck and challenges me to a race. He even called me a chicken! Well, the light turns green and he takes off. I had a bad gut feeling and threw my Toyota in reverse. Sure enough, a car pulled from a side street and I would have hit it if I had been racing. Who knows, I might have even got hurt and broke my hand or something.

In reply to logdog: Nice!