Sometimes its hard to do the right thing

So, I've been looking for a new job lately as I really need to make more moneys. I had a job in the past that involved travel, quite a bit by my standards, I'd estimate %30-%40 or so. It was not good for my marriage or my family. I interviewed for a job a while ago that involved travel. I'm willing to do a little bit of travel, but not a lot since I have a wife and three kids. It was close to home, but I didn't want to travel so I declined it even though it would have been about a 10-15% bump in pay.
So, I get a call the other day. A different company found my resume and said they wanted me to come on board, they were impressed with the depth of technical jobs on my resume. They were offering about an 85% bump in pay! Buuuuut, 50% travel. I know the money would transform my family and entire situation, but I also feel that the travel would have transformed my family for the worse. So I declined.
I've been thinking about it for days now. I don't regret the decision, but it's still a tough pill to swallow.

My brother makes twice what I do. He leaves home Monday morning and gets home late Thursday or Friday morning. I'm home every night and today I got home about 2:00 because I wanted to. I'm sitting in my shop playing on the internet in shorts, a T-shirt and flip flops, I spent an hour talking to my daughter and another hour playing fetch with the dogs. He's probably going to some restaurant to eat and back to the hotel room. I wouldn't have his job for four times the money.

Being gone all the time is a HUGE pill I wouldn't want to swallow.

I took a 40-50% pay cut to be at home every night. I did the leave Monday and come back Friday gig for a few years.

I don't miss it. Just remember when you can look over and see your wife and kids every night that it's really worth it.

Its always the right thing when you put your family first. Good call. I used to travel a lot before my family came into the picture. Now im irritated when i have to work late and miss family dinner.

I can honestly say that I have onle been away from home by myself overnight 3 times since my daughter was born. It was the right call for me to take the pay cut.

I don't travel but work is 1.5 hr one way drive from home. I have my weekends off for 6 months but 5-8hr days lie ahead. So that means being holed up a few days out of the week away from home.... Oh well.

Four years ago I changed employers with the primary purpose to get off the road after 11 years of travel. Then, January 1 this year, I get "re-assigned" to a regional manager's job, with hopeful year-end bonus instead of monthly commission, a 25% cut in pay. I am currently in the middle of a four night - four state - four hotel road trip. I'll take the first offer I can find just to get off the berkeleying road.

I know stagehands that work 100+ hours of work. A few of the older ones have mentioned that one day they came home and their kids were grown up. They had simply missed everything. I think you made the right choice.

Good for you! It's easy to say money ain't everything, but usually it sure seems like everything. Still, travel sucks, especially with a family at home.

bmw88rider wrote: I don't miss it. Just remember when you can look over and see your wife and kids every night that it's really worth it.

bingo. i did leave monday morning and come back late wednesday most every week from january through march, and monday/tuesday nights sucked. except the place i was staying had BBCA so i could top gear monday, but it still sucked. watching top gear with my wife is more fun.

Thanks guys. Honestly, it wasn't hard to say no. But I just keep seeing that very near 6-figure number in my head. But like Datsun said, the kids will be grown and gone and won't really care that they each had an iPad if I wasn't around.
My wife, at dinner, asked the kids if they would want an iPad if it meant I'd be gone 2 weeks a month. They all said they'd rather have me around. 'nuff said.

I've done similar. Several years ago I turned down one gubmint job but accepted another one at a lower pay grade. At the time the kids were teenagers and I was going to night school to finish my degree. The higher pay grade job also meant deploying with the troops to the middle east and moving every few years. I did 20 years of that in the army and didn't want that anymore. Paid off for me because I've been promoted a couple times and now higher than I would have been taking that other position. Although my current position does include travel and I get more than my share of it, about 30-40%. But I do have the option to turn trips down and travel less. Some in my office travel very little if at all and that is their choice. Kids grown and gone now so I don't mine it, figure I'll do it as long as I can before health or other issues affect it. I think SWMBO likes it when I'm gone a few days and home on weekends for the honey-do's. The travel does affect the garage time though.

You made the right choice. No one has regrets about spending too much time with their family!

I'd be ok with travel if it was by ground transportation and not more than about 1 week a month. That would probably only get me a few states away. To me it's like a paid camping trip and frankly sometimes its nice to be alone for a few nights.

A good family friend of mine spent more time in the air than she did on the ground, and spent more working hours outside the country than in it. She got compensated occordingly, and spent so much time travelling that in her free time she loved just hanging around the house.

I don't want to grow bored of the office, my home, or life, but I also don't want to be getting paid for 8 hours and being away from home for 24.

I was going to ask what the wife & kids had to say, but you answered that question. So you made the right choice for you.

I know a guy who is basically on the road 4 days/week. I jokingly call him "business pro" after the National rental car commercials. I'm sure he makes deep into 6-figures and seems to have a good home life and relationship with his family, but still... that's a lot of time on the road.

I traveled 30-40% the past 14 years - I changed jobs last August and might spend 3 nights a year on the road. I DO NOT miss the hotels and eating Chinese take out in my room. I also do not miss coming home on a Friday night at 8:00pm or later due to some delay.

Most of all I do not miss the funky hotel beds and creepy pillows......

Someone wiser than me said it this way. There are hundreds of ways to get money. There is no way to get today back when its over.

You did the right thing

Brother in law got out of MBA school and went to work with McKinsey. He has 5 kids. Only one really knows him( his last after he stopped working for McKinsey). They do have more money than they know what to do with. Just moved to Charlotte and bought a big house on Lake Norman. The company MB E350 dosen't hurt.

I got out of MBA school and went to work in manufacturing. Sure, I'm making good money and doing what I enjoy, well did before the last job change.. But I'm busting my ass to keep my salary increases coming. I'll probably be done with my school debt by the age of 40(10 year pay off on an MBA)... Wish I could do that sooner.

I had an offer to stay in CT and travel 80% of the time working for a big consulting firm. The salary was the same as moving to Seattle and not traveling. I chose to move to Seattle. Staying in CT would have kept the family happy, but not me. But my wife knows not the expect me to stay in an area or with a company more than 3-4 years. Thats how you make the cash these days. Someone comes by and flashes more cash but needs you to move to XYZ place.. you do it.

Bottom line.. Life ain't easy and money isn't everything.

Good on you for choosing to be with your family. For my ever-approaching move, I will be moving 2500 miles for a 115% raise over my last gig (albeit in a much more expensive area). It still hasn't completely hit me yet.

Completely understand your decision. My wife and I don't have kids and don't plan to, so that is the only reason she took her new job.

Leave Monday morning, get home Thursday afternoon/evening. About every 5-6 weeks she will be covering her OK territory so she will be able to stay at home. We decided it was worth it for her to more than double her salary and open A LOT of career opportunities down the line.

It's definitely been a huge adjustment for both of us. I'm just now starting to get back into a "healthy" routine. Previously I just been bored/depressed and sitting around the house drinking, no bueno.

iRacing and getting things at the house under control have been a huge help.

An 85% pay increase would not come close to paying for the divorce lawyers.

Good call in passing on that offer! There is nothing better than a strong family relationship.

One thing to consider is the QUALITY of the time you are spending with your family. I have friends who travel a lot, but the extra money they make goes towards things like a grass-cutting service, a cleaning service and a laundry service. That way, when they are home they spend 100% of their time with their family. Weekends on the lake, or at the cabin, no work, no phones, no other worries. Taking a pay cut is fine, but if you are constantly spending time away from the kids to do projects around the house, are you any better off?

For me, I chose the route less travelled (having done both) because I want to be there for all the little things.

pinchvalve wrote: One thing to consider is the QUALITY of the time you are spending with your family. I have friends who travel a lot, but the extra money they make goes towards things like a grass-cutting service, a cleaning service and a laundry service. That way, when they are home they spend 100% of their time with their family. Weekends on the lake, or at the cabin, no work, no phones, no other worries. Taking a pay cut is fine, but if you are constantly spending time away from the kids to do projects around the house, are you any better off? For me, I chose the route less travelled (having done both) because I want to be there for all the little things.

This!

I have done the travel thing and kept the family as number one priority. That means that the hobby and the "Guys" take a distant backseat.

I know a lot of people who are home all the time, yet as far as the family is concerned, they might as well not be.

I actually mean to make sure folks knew I wasn't judging those that travel by any means. I just know, from my own experience, that it's not good for my family. I don't think pinch and nohome thought I was judging, but their comments reminded me that I wanted to make that point clear.

I just had a phone interview and will need to have a long talk with the wife about it. Looks like about double our combined current income, company car, full benefits, set my own schedule and a few other things. But it is in Nebraska

In reply to rebelgtp:

Sounds like it might be hazard pay?