SWMBO - GWSD

She Who Must Be Obeyed - Gets What She Deserved.

I travel quite a bit as a salesman. This morning I head out early on the road. After a couple hours travel to my first stop, I need to get some gas. As I open up my wallet, I notice an empty slot and a missing credit card. Further research shows it must be my * credit card. After several minutes searching, I give up, get my gas, and head up the road.

I call the credit card company and get the card cancelled and a new account and card on the way.

A couple of hours later, SWMBO calls. Tried to use said credit card at **** automotive service area. Security is there, as the card was reported lost. Seems she removed it from my wallet last night, but forgot to inform me of such action. Apparently security people are pretty touchy about lost & stolen credit cards!

Bet she won't forget to tell you next time.

Or as she looks at it, I bet you won't forget to call her first to see if she took it.

That's sweeeet! And yes, that's an impressive response.

you are still going to be in trouble.. but yes, she got what she deserved there

My wife has her own bank accounts, her own cards, and knows that to use/ touch mine are, well, is poorly advised. Married 20 years.

Thanks for clearing up what "SWMBO" means for me. I've been wondering about that one but not enough to google it.

cwh wrote: My wife has her own bank accounts, her own cards, and knows that to use/ touch mine are, well, is poorly advised. Married 20 years.

My wife and I had a similar arrangement for about 13 years. She's now my ex-wife.

ST_ZX2 wrote:

cwh wrote: My wife has her own bank accounts, her own cards, and knows that to use/ touch mine are, well, is poorly advised. Married 20 years.

My wife and I had a similar arrangement for about 13 years. She's now my ex-wife.

My wife and I have the same arrangement as CWH.

It works for some, doesn't work for others.

I don't spend her money and she doesn't spend mine.

Shawn

My wife and I each have a card that bangs the same account. Or I'm confused again.

Dan

ST_ZX2 wrote:

cwh wrote: My wife has her own bank accounts, her own cards, and knows that to use/ touch mine are, well, is poorly advised. Married 20 years.

My wife and I had a similar arrangement for about 13 years. She's now my ex-wife.

Same for me, only it was 15 years. We ran completely separate credit cards, checking accounts, etc. We shared one savings account, we'd do an electronic transfer of $ to that one for the other if the need arose, it saved writing checks and crap like that.

Man, did separating accounts ever pay off big time for me in the end. Turns out there were some financial shenanigans on her side that are still her problem, not mine.

My buddy and his wife do the "his money - her money" thing. All was well until he discovered she was squirreling away money for the rainy day she was going to throw him out.

I wouldn't marry someone I didn't trust with my money.

Otto Maddox wrote: I wouldn't marry someone I didn't trust with my money.

Ditto. Not saying you don't trust your wives out ex-wives, but were combining accounts so she can finance and I can observe.

Curmudgeon wrote:

ST_ZX2 wrote:

cwh wrote: My wife has her own bank accounts, her own cards, and knows that to use/ touch mine are, well, is poorly advised. Married 20 years.

My wife and I had a similar arrangement for about 13 years. She's now my ex-wife.

Same for me, only it was 15 years. We ran completely separate credit cards, checking accounts, etc. We shared one savings account, we'd do an electronic transfer of $ to that one for the other if the need arose, it saved writing checks and crap like that. Man, did separating accounts ever pay off big time for me in the end. Turns out there were some financial shenanigans on her side that are still her problem, not mine.

My wife did the same thing. Luckily I wasn't liable.

Otto Maddox wrote: I wouldn't marry someone I didn't trust with my money.

Yeah, I never got that part, either, but whatever works works, I guess.

We both make money, we both put it in one big pot, we decide to buy something, we take it out, etc. All the bills get paid out of it; here's no "mine" and "hers". She's a big girl and she can buy pretty much anything she wants, just like I'm a big boy and I can buy pretty much anything I want, limited by reasonable affordability of course. Since it is a joint account, we grant each other the courtesy of telling each other first, but that's all.

In reply to Duke: I was begining to think I was the only one.

any other single income households out there like myself? do you still do a "his" and "hers" complete seperation? ...and how do you divy it up?

just curious. and/or if you have a severe disparity in income... i.e. you make $100K and she makes $20K, (or vice versa, etc.) do you still split it up 50/50, or proportionally to earned income?

We do everything joint. Budget together. Seperate cards linked to the same account, etc. and all bills link to that as well. Much like Duke. No "mine" and "hers".

Wally wrote: In reply to Duke: I was begining to think I was the only one.

Nope, the wife and I have always gone the "our money" route. It has worked just fine for 44 years now.

I'd propose 3 accounts. Hers, his and ours. Each puts x percent of their income in the 'ours' account for bills, food etc. Remainder is the owners to do as they please.

xflowgolf wrote: any other single income households out there like myself? do you still do a "his" and "hers" complete seperation? ...and how do you divy it up?

about a year ago we went old-school: my job is to bring home the money, her job is to raise the kids and keep the household running. one bank account. no credit cards. we run a pretty tight ship. as Dave Ramsey says, "every dollar has a name." we each get a monthly allowance, with which we can do whatever we want. it works for us. YMMV.

Otto Maddox wrote: I wouldn't marry someone I didn't trust with my money.

Unfortunately, my past experience (via my parents) prevents me from ever having that level of trust.

Believe me, my g/f has the same mindset as you, but her parents were much more of the 80/20 set. Plus, while her father had the income, her mother did the finances.

AngryCorvair wrote: about a year ago we went old-school: my job is to bring home the money, her job is to raise the kids and keep the household running. one bank account. no credit cards. we run a pretty tight ship. as Dave Ramsey says, "every dollar has a name." we each get a monthly allowance, with which we can do whatever we want. it works for us. YMMV.

We started that in 1986, except for the allowance part. There was never enough left over for one. The kids are grown now, and she works a few days a week for her own spending money. I still pay for everything else.

Wife and I don't share money. She's terrible at math, I don't want her having access to my accounts when the math goes bad. I generally balance both checkbooks. Strangely, she does a great job at taxes, so she gets to do those.

I trust my wife emphatically but I’m a typical engineer meaning that if I’m off by a penny, I’ll claw my way up through my bank’s metaphorical sphincter to its metaphorical uvula which I’ll use as a punching bag until the discrepancy is resolved to my satisfaction.

My wife employs a slightly less sophisticated accounting method where she glances at her ATM withdrawal receipts and if it seems probable that she’ll be able to complete the next transaction she has in mind without incurring an overdraft, she concludes that everything is on order.

As a result, we have completely separate accounts and maintain ownership of different types of expenses. She tends to run at a negative so I keep tabs on her credit card balance and throw money at it when necessary.

xflowgolf wrote: any other single income households out there like myself?

We are, but we're new school old school, my wife brings home the bacon and I cook it. We're a team with common goals so it works out, at least it has for 11 years and 4 kids so far. We've gone from scraping buy to very comfortable during that time and have had very few disagreements about money. Both being engineers probably helps. We got an apartment together and a joint account before we were even engaged. People thought we were nuts but it seemed like a very natural thing to do. I'd probably have a different view on things had they gone bad, but they didn't. We don't have his and hers, we don't have allowance, we just respect and know each other well enough to do things right.