Tales from the Dad side.

I have a dad story to share soon but figured I would start this on an upbeat tale.

I just went into the laundry room to move wet clothes from the washer into the dryer. AND THE LINT TRAP WAS ALREADY CLEAN!!!!

This hasn't happened in living memory so I found it to be noteworthy.

If the lint trap was already clean, that usually means the clothes in the dryer are still completely wet.

When I was 12 my Dad told me the guy at the garage making $$$/hr. has two hands and can read, why can't you do it?

My parents helped me move into the dorm when I first went off to college. After we were done, just before they left, my father looked me straight in the eyes and said "Don't berkeley this up".

I didn't.....well too much!

SWMBO's middle kid said the other day: "I wonder what school was like back in the day. You know, back in the nineteens."

In reply to Spoolpigeon:

That sounds like something my 6 yo grandson might say.

Some nice ones from my Dad:

"Shake this (spray paint) until it stops rattling"

"If you're going to wish for a loaf of bread, why not wish for a grocery store?"

Upon someone on TV getting hit in the crotch-"OOOhhh, he hit him in the.....Belly."

My son texted me to ask if the torque values in his truck's shop manual 'sounded right' to me .

My dad's truth bomb (I was about 23 and newly married at the time): "There's three things married couples should never do: canoe trips, interior painting and one teaching the other to drive a manual transmission". From personal experience, right on all three counts.

In reply to kazoospec:

Good one - my wife knew stick shift before we met. When wallpaper was in style my new bride and I put some up. We almost killed each other that day.

Upon heading off to college. "Party, sleep, study...pick 2"

"This would be a good time to apologize...or run!'.

Bruce

Quotes from my dad:

Do it right or go the berkeley home

Not running is an inconvenience. Not stopping will kill you.

Said to dee snyder in an airport: my son has a poster of you. Get a haircut.

And most recently: shes a cute 16 year old girl. Truck needs to be louder since its slow. Take one of the mufflers off.

Seven years ago I was a freshly divorced dad and emotionally "fragile". I picked up my kids one afternoon for a weekend stay and at the time they were 8 (boy) and 5 (girl). Awesome kids and absolutely my hearts.

I had just cleaned out my truck so there was nothing but the registration in the glove box. Why this is noteworthy will become apparent directly.

As we drive along a country road, pretty well in the sticks, the boy says "um, dad. Girl has a nosebleed." I look back and sure enough she does. She's a bit unhappy about it but not bad.

I'm superdad here so I tell her that things are fine and we'll wash her clothes when we get home. No worries kiddo, just relax.

A few minutes later and boy sounds worried "umm, dad??! Girl is bleeding from her eyes."

Uh. Nope, that's bad. Nosebleed? OK. Eye berkeleying bleed??!! No bueno. Nothing good comes from that. I'm an EMT and have a fair amount of medical knowledge so my mind immediately goes into overdrive trying to figure out why her eyes would be bleeding. None of the answers are good BTW.

Bear in mind, we are still in the country. We are pretty far from a hospital. This is all very stressful for me!

Do I call an ambulance? Do I keep on heading for town? Who gets prepared for events like this?

Well I go with the keep calm and move foreword mode. Turns out, her crying carried nosebleed blood through her overly patent lacrimal ducts and out around her eyes!

Being a dad is an adventure. Sometimes you have to be stronger than you'd think possible for event you could never have seen coming.

"Taking the more difficult of two choices will seldom result in failure"

"Don't waste your breath with women and the truth"..."they spend a lot of money on make-up and want no truck with the truth"

Those two have got me through life so far. Ignoring everything else has med life interesting.